22-Sep-2009
Written by: Blakely Slater

Officers caught on tape playing video games while on the job.

Drug busts are often action packed with doors breaking, criminals running, and police yelling. However, drug task force officers of Polk County, Florida added a new form of action to narcotics seizures: Wii Bowling.

Tampa Bay’s News Channel 8 showed footage from a secret camera that was installed in the house prior to a drug raid, and the video has now spread all over the Internet. This amusing clip shows various members of the team putting a halt to their duties to partake in the video game. In fact, one officer becomes so overjoyed by his success that he frantically jumps up and down and appears to do some kind of celebratory dance in his colleague’s face.

This was a $4,000 sting, and therefore should have been taken a bit more seriously. Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd agrees, telling the Orlando Sentinel, “I am not pleased with their conduct. There is no reason for that. It’s inexcusable.” In her estimation, only about 8 of the 17 officers who were at the house will be involved in any sort of disciplinary action. The officers have apologized for their behavior, and it can be assumed that they will steer clear of video games, at least while on the job, in the future.

http://www.thecelebritycafe.com/features/33832.html

updated 9:03 p.m. ET, Wed., Aug 19, 2009

PHILADELPHIA - The blue suit and black boots were right, but mourners at a retired trucker's funeral suspected they were gazing at the wrong man.

Some friends and family members kissed the body, despite whispers that something seemed amiss.

After a two-hour viewing Tuesday, the funeral home came clean: It had brought in the wrong casket to the church.
Story continues below ↓advertisement | your ad here

After the revelation, neither Kenneth "Tex" Roberts' family nor the body were in any shape for a final farewell, so the service was postponed.

"They tried to make us believe that it was him. I was so sure that it wasn't," widow Janie Holsey, 62, told The Associated Press on Wednesday. "But ... I've never handled anybody that died."

The man in the casket looked older and taller than Roberts, an 80-year-old Army veteran known for his playful spirit and eagerness to lend a hand.

Holsey insists that she questioned the funeral home.

"I know he didn't look like that," Holsey said. "It was a fiasco ... a nightmare."

The James L. Hawkins Funeral Home Funeral Home, which handled arrangements, declined to comment. The family of the other man involved in the switch did not immediately return a message left by The Associated Press on Wednesday.

Roberts, who had 11 children and stepchildren, had been relatively healthy until his death Monday of apparent heart problems, said Holsey's sister, Edith Nelson.

"Everyone enjoyed him. He was just so funny. He made everybody laugh," she said.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32483439/ns/us_news-weird_news/

Wednesday, August 19, 2009
by MILLARD K. IVES

UMATILLA -- A 27-year-old inmate likely woke up in a lot of pain Tuesday -- and fully clothed -- after he apparently fought naked with officers, paramedics and firefighters the night before.

Umatilla police said a sargeant was responding to a call about 11 p.m. Monday on Lake Shore Drive when an unclothed Joseph Stephen Carroll jumped from the bushes and onto his squad car and started banging on the hood with his fists.

Carroll then allegedly jumped off and slugged the car's headlight, shattering part of it.

After a struggle that police said included repeated use of a stun gun, pepper spray and even strikes with flash lights and other fighting techniques, officers were finally able to get the 150-pound, 5-foot-8 Carroll under control.

Carroll was charged with disorderly conduct, resisting an officer with violence and criminal mischief. He also was charged with battery on a law enforcement officer in the incident, which left Sgt. Christopher Bell with a fractured hand.

Carroll was being held in the Lake County jail in lieu of $11,500 bail.

It's not clear what injuries Carroll received. The Web site for Lake County Sheriff's Office that posts arrest information had "no photo available" listed where his mug shot was supposed to be.

"He might be sore from all the resistance he put up," said Umatilla Police Chief Doug Foster.

Foster added his department is still trying to determine why Carroll was walking around naked, so out of control and had such a high tolerance for pain.

"He didn't feel any pain," Foster said.

According to an arrest affidavit, Carroll was given several doses of NarCan -- which can help reverse drug overdoses -- after he continued to struggle with paramedics and firefighters called to the scene.

Carroll turned himself in on marijuana possession charges in 2008, according to Lake County jail records.

Foster said Bell was responding to a disturbance Monday night when he ran into Carroll. Foster said he wasn't sure if Carroll was coming from that disturbance.

http://www.dailycommercial.com/localnews/story/081909naked

August 18, 2009

OMRO — Police cited two Fox Cities men for possession of drug paraphernalia and warned a third for obstructing an officer at a boat club corn roast at Scott Park Friday night.

The officer walked through a cloud of smoke, smelled the odor of marijuana and confronted a 50-year-old Menasha man and a 52-year-old Appleton man. The men, not realizing he was an officer, offered him the lit pipe, said Chief James Reed.

Meanwhile, an intoxicated Omro man who witnessed the incident accused the officer of harassing the boat club guests. Police warned him not to interfere or he’d be charged.

http://www.postcrescent.com/article/20090818/APC0101/308180086/1003/APC01/Men-cited-after-offering-officer-pot-pipe

The Capital Times — 8/07/2009 8:35 am

A Madison police intern is in hot water Friday morning after he allegedly got drunk, accosted three men downtown while claiming to be a detective and threw one of the men to the ground before real officers arrived and took him to jail, Madison police reported.

Samuel Lehman, 20, was tentatively charged with impersonating a police officer, disorderly conduct and underage drinking following his arrest at about 12:30 a.m. Friday at Langdon and North Frances Streets.

Lt. John Radovan said Lehman was intoxicated and walking down Frances Street when he came upon three men.

"He pulled out his Madison Police Department intern identification, said he was an undercover Madison Police Department detective, pointed his index finger with his thumb up, like a gun, at the men, and ordered them to the ground," Radovan said in the incident report.

Lehman then pulled out his cell phone and called for backup before grabbing one of the men, throwing him to the ground.
"Shortly thereafter Lehman told them they could leave, saying they were lucky, and he'll let the situation go at this time," Radovan said.

Officers made contact with Lehman a short time later and took him to jail.

"It is anticipated his internship will be ending," Radovan said.

http://www.madison.com/tct/news/police/461165

Aug. 7, 2009, 6:00AM

MANSFIELD, La. — A Texan arrested in March after construction workers saw him on his hands and knees eating mud and growling has pleaded guilty in Louisiana to possession of cocaine.

District Attorney Richard Johnson says a plea agreement reached Thursday during pretrial conferences means Terence Loyd, 32, of Lufkin, Texas, will spend the next five years in prison. Lloyd initially had faced a string of drug charges.

Johnson says all but the cocaine possession charge were dropped in exchange for Loyd's plea.

Loyd was arrested after workers saw him rolling in mud and acting like a dog. Loyd had ingested so much mud that he started throwing up mud when he was jailed.

Authorities suspected the use of a hallucinogenic drug contributed to Loyd's delusions.

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/ap/tx/6564044.html

Aug 8, 7:34 PM (ET)

EASTPOINTE, Mich. (AP) - Authorities said a purse snatching suspect being chased by police near Detroit got his right leg tangled in his car's seat belt when he tried to bail out and ended up being dragged several hundred feet. Police told the Detroit Free Press and The Macomb Daily of Mount Clemens that 45-year-old man Lawrence Neal of Detroit was dragged Thursday night and broke his leg before the car stopped on a front lawn.

During the chase, police said Neal used turn signals. And Detective Lt. Leo Borowsky said he was "captured by his own seat belt."

Neal was being held at the Macomb County Jail. He was charged with unarmed robbery, fleeing and eluding and resisting and obstructing police.

Police said he requested a court-appointed attorney.

http://apnews.myway.com/article/20090808/D99V0N4O1.html

8:23AM Monday Aug 10, 2009

An Australian man's night on the town ended with him being escorted from a Queenstown hotel in a dressing gown after he crashed out naked in the wrong room.

A woman hid in her hotel bathroom after the drunk 29-year-old wandered into her and her husband's room and fell asleep on their bed on Saturday morning.

Sergeant Steve Watt, of Queenstown police, said the man was escorted home in a dressing gown after being woken by the hotel concierge.

"He was a bit surprised that there were two people in his room and he was butt naked," Mr Watt told the Southland Times.

The man told police he been brought back to the hotel from town by a woman but at some point wandered out of her room into the hallway stark naked.

He then wandered into another room, occupied by a husband and wife, and had curled up and gone to sleep, he said.

The couple called the hotel reception, with the wife hiding in the bathroom waiting for staff to arrive.

The man was not charged, Mr Watt said. "It was far too funny."

- NZPA

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10589787

I checked into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely so I thought I'd get me one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when you're calling for a cab.
I grabbed a card on my way in. It was an ad for a girl calling herself Erogonique....a lovely girl, bending over in the photo.
She had all the right curves in all the right places, beautiful long wavy hair, and long graceful legs all the way up to her rear end . You know the kind. So I'm in my room, in the hotel where I'm well known, and figure, what the hell, I'll give her a call.
"Hello?" the woman says. God, she sounded sexy.
"Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I'd like you to come to my room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hard, want it hot, and I want it now. I'm talking kinky the whole night long. You name it, we'll do it. Bring implements, toys, everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night; Tie me up, wear a strap on, cover me in chocolate syrup and whip cream, anything you want baby. Now, how does that sound?"

She says, "That sounds fantastic, but for an outside line you need to press 9."

FROM JO:

I am Italian and about three years ago I went to London for a "studying holiday", you know those student things, English lessons in the morning, sightseeing in the afternoon, pubs in the night... I was in a host family - very nice people - a typical English family -mother -.- father - three sons - a nice doggy dog (medium sized dog). The family used to host students during the summer so in the house it was me, a Spanish fella and another Italian girl. The Italian girl was a bit "weird"... I don't know if she was retarded or not.. but surely there was something wrong about her... anyway...

The first day we arrived, the lady from the travel agency tells me that me and that girl were going to stay with this family.. the family pick us up in the airport.. drive us home.. and then they asked us for a cup of tea.. We are in the living room, starting to know each other, drinking tea.. while the weird one ask the lady for the toilette... the lady said that downstairs there was at toilette with only the sink..., otherwise upstairs there was the real toilette for all your needs.. You know, she didn't understand properly - me either.. so she went downstairs bursting for a pee pee.. and no toilette seat in it. only a sink and the washing machine.. so she put her big ass on the sink and she started to pee.. while she was pissing the sink that was stuck on the wall broke down....She fell with the sink... bumped her head on the wall... with her trouser/panties down to her ankles...We heard the noise from the living room, so me and he host lady went there...nothing happened really but the nice English woman decided to bring the weird to the hospital for a check..

But this is not the funniest part... I spend a nice three weeks holidays having such a great time even realizing that the Italian girl that I had to share the room was really weird (farting, shitting in the bed- talking weird) The last night we stayed in London we decide to party... we were about ten Italian people and the weird one was with us,,, we drank a lot... and I went home without the weird one..... when I I came home I did lots of noise, cause I was really drunk, the lady woke up and asked where the weird one was... suddenly the weird one came in.. at the entrance there was a sort of sofa/divan ... nearby the telephone place.. and the dog used to sleep on this sort of sofa.. well, the weird one sat violently on that couch , with her big ass (she was a big girl)... she actually smashed the dog.... The dog started to cry, the English lady started to scream, the kids woke up in tears, the husband (thank God) was out... the next day the woman brought the dog to the veterinary for t a lethal injection 'cause the weird one actually killed the dog.. The woman said that she ad enough of Italian dickheads... Yes, it was embarrassing, I was ashamed to be Italian... thank God it was the last night in England.

http://www.unwind.com/jokes-funnies/stories/miscellaneousstories.shtml

From KJ:

when I first started dating my ex husband, I was a little miss priss. I wore fake eyelashes and fingernails. I had started staying all night with him on the weekends so I could spend more time with him. I woke up one early in the morning and noticed he wasnt in bed with me, so I got up and went in the living room. I had taken off my fake eyelashes and put them on the endtable before I went to bed and he didnt have his glasses on. he had rolled up a news paper and was beating the hell out of my fake eye lashes. I said

" what are you doing?" he said " trying to kill this big ass spider." he said he had never seen one with so many legs before! I fell in the floor laughing. later after I pulled myself together, I explained that it was my fake eyelashes he was beating!! he was so embarrassed!!

http://www.unwind.com/jokes-funnies/stories/miscellaneousstories.shtml

From Anonymous:

My boyfriend and I are always fooling around, sometimes we play little jokes on each other To understand what happened you have understand what I pulled first.

It started in his backyard. He was reading and catching rays. I was in a silly and frisky mood but knew I had to leave soon for my summer job So I look over to him and there he is fast asleep, the book on his hairy chest. Well I filled his hands with whipped cream and I tickled his nose. First he brushed his face, thinking it was a bug or fly and he smeared whipped cream on his face. I am holding tight my laffs and I tickle his face again. This time he uses both hands to brush away the imaginary fly and he smears all over his face and wakes up startled and with me in hysterics. So just as he began to chase me... I ran out the front gate, jumped in my car and heading to work- well planned.

Well the tables turned a few weeks later in my girlfriend's house by her pool. He had been teasing me about getting me back and I had successfully avoided all paybacks though there were some close calls. Well I am over at my girlfriend's house with a couple of my girlfriends and in a bikini catching the rays. My boyfriend was supposedly working at the garage. My girlfriend is also very friendly with my boyfriend but I didn't give that any mind. So there I am, catching rays and I fall into a light sleep I hear, in my daze, my girlfriend speaking to someone on her cell and telling them they should come over right now.. the time is ripe- whatever that meant and she is giggling.
Next thing I feel and hear is something odd....giggling and different parts of my bod feeling oddly cold. First my legs, then my tummy, then my chest. Then I feel my hands being moved and my hands feel cool. and lots of giggling going on.

Then... something small is moving all over my face... a bug or something. So I take my hands and brush my face and wake up... I jump up and of course you guessed it.....I am completely covered in whipped cream (including my face) BUT THAT'S NOT THE WORST PART...OH NO.. as I jump up ...my bikini top falls off..I try and grab it, forgetting my hands are full of whipped cream and smear my chest and off falls my bottom too. Someone had untied me completely! Desperately trying to cover myself up while it's all being recorded on video. My girlfriends scoops up my top and bottom and toss it to a hidden figure- MY BOYFRIEND!!! WHO HAS A CAN OF WHIPPED CREAM IN HIS HANDS AND HE YELLS ....GOTCHA BABE!!! I am standing there ..just turning all kinds of red. naked as a jaybird- the three of them are tossing my top and bottom back and forth and I am trying with one hand covering my front and one hand in the air trying to get my bikini back. just dying of embarrassment. I was soooooooooooo embarrassed

http://www.unwind.com/jokes-funnies/stories/miscellaneousstories.shtml

From Anonymous

It was a big tradition for my friends and I to attend the annual Earth Day Festival. Sponsored by a local radio station, there was always a huge turnout of people, musicians and vendors. It was always a party except when you had to use the bathroom. They only provided about 12 port-a-potty's which meant an enormous crowd of impatient, bored people. After I had waited a good half hour I finally got my turn! As most of them are, the port-a-potty was nasty as hell so I rushed to do my thing as quickly as possible.....throwing up my skirt and making sure not to sit down. When I came out I let out a huge sigh of relief and ran across the field to meet back up with my friends making note of tons of people laughing at me as I ran and skipped back to my circle. After a good 10 min or so passes, I got really annoyed cuz even my friends were snickering at me......was I just paranoid?.....and ! finally one of them broke down and pointed out that my skirt was completely tucked into my underwear exposing my entire back end! The next morning on the radio, they actually made mention of the incident on the air!!!!

http://www.unwind.com/jokes-funnies/stories/miscellaneousstories.shtml

From: Anonymous

Ok, My parents weren't home and i had to stay and babysit my little brother Timmy. So, i decided we'd go out back since it was a nice day. But, i was expecting call from my crush Nathan so i brought the phone out with me. We got out the kick ball and started to play in in the back yard. It was difficult for me because i was wearing these HUGE pants that were 3 sises too big for me(they were in style then) Timmy kicked the ball right on top of the roof of our house and i knew dad would blow up if he found out, because he specifically told us not too. With the phone in my back pocket, I grabbed the ladder and climbed up it to the roof, i had done it before when hanging Christmas lights. I reached furher and further for the ball, and as i reached Timmy ran up onto the 2nd floor patio right beside the ladder.(he got there from the inside.) I was so furious with Timmy at the moment for kicking the ball up there i kept yelling and yelling (bad move!) all of a suden the phone rang but when i reched for it i slipped a bit! I caught myself three rings lower , one hand on the patio rail , one foot on the ladder. i was soo scared to move, but, my baggy pants fell down!!!! I was so frustrated that i yelled at Timmy that it was all his fault and when he got fed up with me he ran around back climbed the ladder to where i was(about the middle) and pulled my panties down! i was mortified but still screaming at Timmy to get me down. My crush who lived a block down from me decided to walk up to the house when i didn't answer the telephone. He cut up through the yards and into the backyard where i was standing (or should i say hanging) with my bare butt and vagina. He had to help me down but he definitely was looking! it was like a moment you'd only seen in movies but was happening to me!

http://www.unwind.com/jokes-funnies/stories/caughtintheactstories.shtml

From: Michael

When I was in high school I always went to school functions with my sister. She was one year younger than me. My sister was always treating me badly and I hated her friends. When I was 17 and she was 16 we were going to a Halloween bonfire and costume party at the high school. My sister worked with my Mom to make a costume for both of us. They made these big dice out of cardboard boxes and they bought me a long sleeve black leotard and matching black tights to wear under the box that was decorated like a dice. My sister had a matching outfit. I also had to wear these black ballet shoes that they bought to go with the costume. I told my Mom that I didn't want to wear a leotard and tights to the bonfire and she told me to just get changed and take my sister or I would be grounded for a month.

I went to the bonfire with her friends and they were making fun of my leotard and tights all the way there. My sister told them that I designed the costumes so that I could wear leotards and ballet slippers because I like to wear leotards. I was already very embarrassed and we weren't even at the bonfire yet. Drinking was forbidden at any school functions but my sister's friends brought a whole cooler full of beer. I had several beers with them and then we walked over by the bonfire. I had to take a leak real bad so I took off the dice and walked behind some bushes to pee.

While I was behind the bushes my sisters friends took my dice and threw it into the fire. Then they told another kid to tell the principal that I was drinking and had beer behind the bushes. The principal came over to take a look and found me standing behind the bushes I was just finished taking a leak and grabbed a beer to finish when the principal caught me. He grabbed me by the arm and pulled me out from behind the bushes. He looked at what I was wearing and asked what kind of costume that was. I told him that I was wearing a dice costume and the box that went over my black leotards was on the other side of the fire. When we got there it was gone and an empty pile of beer cans was sitting there. The principal grabbed me and took me to his office. He called my house and talked to my Mom and told her that I had been caught drinking at the bonfire. He also stated that my sister had told him that she thought that I was pleasing myself behind some bushes. He told her that he had caught me behind some bushes right where she said I would be. He also told my Mom that I did have a wet spot in the front of my leotards.

My Mom was furious and asked to talk to me. She told me I was grounded for a month and that my dad was coming to get me. I knew that was going to be a bad thing. The principal talked to my Mom again and asked her if I should be suspended or get the paddle. He hung up the phone and took the paddle off the wall and told me to bend over his desk. I got 10 stinging spanks with the paddle. Then we went and waited outside for my dad. My dad pulled up and was totally pissed off. He was walking toward me and taking off his belt. He grabbed me by the arm and pulled me over to a bench by the sidewalk. He pulled me over his knee and gave me the longest spanking I have ever had in my life. Not only was everyone seeing me get a belt spanking but I was also wearing a leotard and tights with ballet shoes. I could hear people talking and laughing as the belt was stinging my butt.

I was the subject of many jokes and conversations after that night. I am still embarrassed by it. I have never gone to any high school reunions or functions since I graduated.

http://www.unwind.com/jokes-funnies/stories/caughtintheactstories.shtml

From: Anonymous

One night me and my buddy were drinking to much,and we were driving on this back road where not to many people live.Well my buddy dared me to streak the road .It was about a little more than half a mile.I said ok.It was late so who is gonna see me? So I strip and throw my clothes in the back seat including shoes and socks.He stops the car I jump out and hide in some bushes til he drives up the road.
As soon as the cars out of sight I take off running (like I have a choice at this point).To be honest it's great feeling running naked, Its quite free. Well as I'm running and things are bouncing around. I see taillights up ahead- this was easy I thought. Not so fast. Not paying any attention I ran up to the white car. My buddy drives a black car.
Not thinking I open the car door, and much to my surprise there are four girls staring staight at me in all my glory. I froze for a second not sure what to do. Lets just say these girls got to know me rather well. So I took off running and low and behold there was the right car.

I didn't hear any laughing as I ran away so that was one plus. As we drove away I thought at least it wasn't cold out...

http://www.unwind.com/jokes-funnies/stories/caughtintheactstories.shtml

by: Topless

I was at a restaurant with my boyfriend and his sister, who is a very good friend of mine. We were waiting for the food to come and he told his sister I wasnt feeling well and had to take me home. Instead, he took me into the men's room and started undressing my top half. I sort of went along with it, and soon we were completely making out, both topless, in the middle of the men's room. Unfortunately, the door to the bathroom wasn't soundproof. An old janitor burst in on us and grabbed both our shoulders, splitting us apart. then he said, " There is a sign at the entrance of this restaurant stating that shoes and shirts must be worn at all times." then he looked down at me with my arms across my chest. "And unless you are a male, I suggest you leave this room immediately" With that, he spun around and held the bathroom door open for us to leave, but it also exposed us for the whole restaurant to see! I seized my clothes and rushed out right away! We just told my boyfriend's sister that the delay was because he was making sure I was ok. She never found out the truth!

http://www.unwind.com/jokes-funnies/stories/caughtintheactstories.shtml

Anonymous

I have a twin sister- Elise who is on the middlefield junior high cheer squad and her 2002 season was coming to an end so with my parents permission my sister threw a end of the season slumber party with only my grandma in the house. Being the 14 year old boy I was I just had to spy on the party that night. It was perfect, the door was cracked open and the girls were sitting in front of the T.V. watching movies in their pyjamas. Being my luck I was discovered by a glancing girl. I was pulled into the room and they made me wear pink eyeshadow, mascara, blush and pink lipstick. To make it worse they painted my nails and toe nails pink and made me wear a tieback pink silk full length gown, pink strap heels, pink panties and a pink bra.( the pink is on the occassion that some girl on the squad was going to a mothers friends baby shower.) My grandmother came in to stop the giggling and then saw me in the gown cornered by giggling teen girls.

http://www.unwind.com/jokes-funnies/stories/caughtintheactstories.shtml

By: Tyler

The time was 2:36 and school had just ended. I was really eager to leave the campus: one, because school sucks and two, because my mom was picking me up in the ghettoest van imaginable and I didn't want anyone to see it. Of course being the great mother she is, she parked the hunk-a-junk right, smack dab in front of the school where it could be seen by pretty much everyone and their mother. no pun intended. So there I am already embarrassed that i had to be seen in front of the piece of crap. I go to get into the thing via the sliding door. I open the slider and it decides not to stop. Yeah,it just kept sliding and fell off its higes all together and clunked right onto the ground. I had to go to the wood shop and ask for a screwdriver to fix it. It, to this very day, haunts me when I sleep.

by: Hilary

When I was nine years old, I was sitting on my older brother's water bed watching "The X-Files." My big bro had a lot of spare pennies laying around and I knew better than to put them in my mouth and play with them, but I was mad bored so I did it anyway. So, I had this penny in my mouth and I must have wiggled a little or something because the water bed started moving. Of course, the movement made me choke on the penny. I ran out of my brother's room into the living room coughing with my hands around my throat. My mom instantly screamed, "Oh my God!" and came running towards me. Before she could get to me, I gave one mighty cough and I somehow mananged to swallow the penny! So, once I could speak, I let my mom know that I had choked on a penny and that now my chest hurt really, really bad. So, she called up my older brother (he had the car at the time) and had him pick us up so I could be taken to the hospital. It turned out that the penny had lodged itself in my esopha gus. So, after waiting a night to see if the penny would move at all (it didn't), I had to get surgery to take the penny out. They put me to sleep, stuck a tube down my throat, and used these long tweezers with a camera on the end to pull it out. Ever since I got out of surgery, my family and friends have enjoyed calling me "The Human Piggy Bank" and to this day I cannot be around any pennies without someone asking, "Are you hungry or something, Hilary?" It was quite an embarrassing ordeal, but I still have the penny in a jar and pictures taken of my esophagus as they were pulling it out! Interesting souveniors...

http://www.dumbmoments.com/

By: Anon

I'm a PHd student in electrical engineering. Last year I accepted a teaching position for introduction to computer science. The class is 400 people and it's in a large theater style lecture room. As I was teaching the back of the class is getting noisy, and then the noise got louder and louder. Just as when I was about to ask the people that are making the noise to get out. One of them got out of his seat from way in the back, wobble downed to the front, took off his pants and mooned the whole class, shouting "I'm a sexy boy!, I'm a sexy boy!" and walked out. I frozed for about 10 minutes. The worse part is, after class, I saw that same bunch of guys viewing in on a handy cam. So somewhere on the net, there's a video of some dude mooning my class and me looking hillarious.

http://www.dumbmoments.com/

By: Debi

Right now is probably my most embarrassing moment because I'm 49 years old and most stories here are from kids. Anyway, when I was in 10th grade it was at a very large city school. It was between classes. EVERYONE was in the hall going to their next class. I was menstruating and sanitary napkins didn't have "wings" or tape. We had to wear this extremely uncomfortable "sanitary belt". I hated it so bad so I did not wear a belt. Ok, remember everyone is changing classes and I was in the main hall. Yup, my "used napkin" fell out of my undies and landed yucky side up!!! I freaked out soooooo bad and without thinking, I kicked the stupid thing and it goes sailing down the hall. Then I start running trying to catch up with it. Of course people were laughing and dodging and pointing......it landed in front of the girls restroom. I opened the door and kicked it inside. I stayed in the bathroom all day crying. And yes, I quit school that very day. No way could I return. (update: i eventually got my ged and went to college.) But it was definantly my most embarrassing moment. (Next to writting about it in here)

http://www.dumbmoments.com/

By: Anon

It all started out on a wonderful vacation, I was with my dad, and my twin siter, and best friend. And we all decided to go to a movie, before we went into the movie we saw these really goodlooking guys out in the parking lot, and asked for my number. So i gave it to them, and entered the movie. During halfway of the movie i started to get really sick.. I knew i was going to hurl, but had no time to run away, so i puked in my hands... but it gets worse while i was running down the aile covered. i threw up right in the middle of the aile, looking up i see the guy who asked for my number he looked up at me and laughed and handed my number back... I was never more embarrassed in my life.

http://www.dumbmoments.com/

By: Anonymous

It was around August and I had just gotten a new job as a secretary, so I went to buy some proper clothes for the job. On my way to work, I realized I was almost out of gas, so I stopped at the local Shell station down the road from my house. Since this was Florida, the heat was quite bad during the summer months if you didn't have air conditioning. I pumped in $10.00 worth of gas, and went inside to pay. There was a bit of a line, so I waited. As I got closer to the counter, I could feel a breeze on my legs. When I finally got to the counter, I said, "Hi, how are you today?" The man behind the counter looked mortified, so I said, "are you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost." He replied, "I guess I have. You're doing a Marilyn Monroe." I turned around in circles trying to figure out what he was talking about, as he watched me make a futher ass of myself. Behind me was a man standing by a Pepsi fridge and a fan. It was then that I realized not only was my dress being blown up from behind, by the fan, but also that today I'd worn pantyhose without underpants underneith. The guy behind was signaling to the man at the counter about what he was seeing. How utterly embarassing.

http://www.dumbmoments.com/

By: Reta

My fiance and I were going to college. He lived with five other guys, but at any given time there would be one or two random guys that would stay there for the week. In order to see each other I would have to come over in the early morning between our two jobs and classes. It was that, or we couldn't see each other during the week. He started sleeping out on the couch because his roommate that shared a room with him started a graveyard shift and needed his sleep. One morning, before the sun came up, I had just let myself in to his apartment, and saw that his alarm clock was by the couch so that he wouldn't sleep through class. He hadn't been expecting me so I carefully walked through the pitch black apartment trying not to trip over anything. I wanted to surprise him with a wake up kiss, so I knelt down and started to kiss him. It was turning quite passionate when all of the sudden he went completely rigid. I sat up to see what was wrong and it wasn't my fiance at all. It was some random guy who had just happened to stay overnight. I thought I was going to die! All I could pathetically say was, "Sorry, I thought you were my fiance." His reply? Well, after he stopped laughing and could finally take a breath said "It's all good."

http://www.dumbmoments.com/

By: Angie

My boyfriend and I were looking for houses. We saw this cute little house by a bakery!! I just love cake. We opened the door and started looking around. All of a sudden someone came in and said. "What are you doing in my house?" It turned out that the owner of the house had just moved there and was only there to lock it up, she had forgotten to take the for sale sign off.

http://www.dumbmoments.com/

By: Anne

Once I was at the apartment of this guy I really like, and he was using the restroom when I really had to use the bathroom too. I couldn't wait for him to finish, and I didn't know what to do, so I just dropped my pants and crapped right there on the floor, and I swear I was going to pick it up with a paper towel and throw it away, but right then he came out of the bathroom. I threw a pillow over my crap and hoped he wouldn't notice. Unfortunately he knew something was up, so he picked up the pillow and there was my crap. He was like, "What the Hell is this", and I was so scared that I just made up this story. I said "Your dog just ran in here and pooped on the floor, but I didn't want the dog to be embarrassed so I covered it up." And he said "I don't have a dog, I think you're lying". And I'm thinking gee what tipped you off. So he knew it was me, and he picked up the poop and he threw it at me. So I said "I guess this means we aren't having dinner?" So I had to leave covered in my own poop. Oddly enough I did hear from him a few days later when he called to ask if I would pay the bill for the carpet cleaning he had to have. Then he asked out my twin sister, and told her the story. Now they are getting married, and I have to be in the wedding, and they sent me a diaper to wear under my dress. Oh my gosh, I wish I could die.

http://www.dumbmoments.com/

Monday, August 07, 2006

You wanna talk about embarrassing?! My husband and I were over at a new couple of friend's house. We were in their hot tub. I had to use the restroom, so I went outside (in the dark) and into the house. To my horror....when I turned around and sat on the toilet...I noticed a trail of blood! Down my legs, and on their white tile floor out through the living and dining room!!!!! Now to make the situation worse...I didn't have anything to stop it!!!! I had to go outside and ASK her to borrow a tampon!!!!!! So word of advice...if you think you're done your period...or think you may be near starting it....DO NOT sit in a hot tub unprepared!!!!

http://embarrassingstories.blogspot.com/

Friday, Jul. 10, 2009
By: Wally Spiers

One of the duties of a columnist is to be the common denominator for readers.

Or so I am told.

Usually I do this by bringing others' stories to you. But sometimes it is by telling my embarrassing stories. It is amazing how many times people have told me they thought that they were the only ones who did some of the dumb things that I have done.

For example, the other day I was listening to my CD player at home. I had it pretty loud. I don't hear as well as I used to. Besides, I like it thumpin'.

Anyway, I thought I could hear my cell phone ringing faintly over the music. I raced into the kitchen because I was sure the phone was on the table. I couldn't find it.

I became frantic because I hate it when I don't answer in time and miss a call. Then I try to call the number back immediately and I get a busy signal because the other person is trying to leave a message.

Meanwhile, the other person may stop the message and try to call me back and I don't know how to take a call while I am on a call and I am paralyzed.

But luckily, when I didn't see the phone I realized it actually was in my pocket all the time and I caught it before the last ring.

Actually I guess it isn't correct to call it a ring anymore. The name now seems to be ring tone because everyone has a song. But does that apply to the call indicator I heard on some guy's phone the other day?

The phone kept telling him, "Hey, answer the phone!"

Or there was this embarrassing incident on Thursday. I was sitting in a pizza meeting at work with a plastic plate loaded with potato chips, pretzels and pizza. I also had a glass of soda.

Somehow I managed to spill the plate on my left side, dumping a large pile of chips and pretzels on the floor. I did save the pizza.

While I was worrying about that, I spilled the soda on the chair next to me and the floor.

This was embarrassing -- and irritating. I had just spilled the last of the potato chips, which were really tasting good. Also, I knew I was destined to be the butt of many unfunny jokes.

I scrambled for paper towels and a couple of sympathetic fellow workers, including my boss, cleaned up the mess.

In addition, I felt obliged to sit in the wet seat because it was my mess. I would feel guilty sitting in my dry seat while someone else had to risk his or her pants.

Luckily we got the seat dried out enough so that a few newspapers piled on it kept my pants dry. But I'm still missing those chips and most of my dignity -- like always, it seems.

And I got pizza sauce on my shirt, which still is better than the other night when I was cooking and flipped a big drop of spaghetti sauce out of the pan and onto my bare big toe.

http://www.bnd.com/news/local/story/839747.html

An armed police hunt was launched after a Kent man was spotted with a fake gun on his way to a fancy dress party.

Stuart Harris, 35, was seen waving the gun around at a filling station in Minster, near Ramsgate, en route to the gangster-themed party, reports the Daily Telegraph.

He then drove 70 miles to the party in London, spent several hours there before making the trip home - only to be awoken by armed officers at 3am.

They had tracked his car through a roadside number plate recognition system and traced him back to his address in Broadstairs, Kent.

Mr Harris was arrested, held in a cell and eventually released after accepting a caution for possessing an imitation firearm in a public place.

"I definitely wasn't waving the gun in a threatening manner but I think someone thought I was holding my sister hostage," he said.

"I was arrested and taken to the police station. My sister explained what happened and that we were just messing about but it didn't do much good.

"I'm annoyed because the caution is going to stay on my record for five years. If I apply for a job or something it will show up but what really happened won't. It looks awful."

However, Chief Supt John Molloy, said: "How do our officers know someone is on the way to a gangster-themed fancy dress party?

"We take reports of firearms seriously and people should consider the obvious implications of taking imitation weapons into a public place."

(http://www.ananova.com)

An Alabama preacher said to his congregation, 'Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian Family.'

No one moved.

The preacher continued, 'Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory. Now, stand and confess your transgression.'

Again, all was quiet.

Then, slowly, a drop dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop traffic, rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke,

'Reverend, there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets.'

The preacher fell to his knees, his wife fainted, and the congregation roared.

(http://www.dysan.net)

A top cop website was hacked - by a monster-type creature!

The cheeky hackers broke into London's Metropolitan Police recruitment website, and posted a picture of a cuddly toy on its front page.

And beneath the picture of the green stripy animal they added taunting comments.

The message posted by "Officer Brobee" referred to the Scotland Yard's SO15 counter-terrorism unit.

It said: "OH HAI GUYS do joo wanna bes a policeman lulz?"

"I see that teh so15 anti-terrorism anti-lulz police are hiring more incompetent nervy edgy socipaths to make London's streets just that little bit safer!"

"OH LULZ. SHOUTS TO l0g1kal for being such a leet dude and to LULKITTEH for being so fancy."

A spokesman for the Met said they were aware of the hack.

"We are aware of an unauthorised image and text having been placed on the Met Careers internet site," a statement issued by the force said.

"The Met Careers site is managed by an external company who are responsible for its upkeep.

"We will discuss this with the service provider at the earliest possible time."

The embarrassing message and cuddly monster were later removed.

- February 28, 2008 (http://www.thatsweird.net)

Always prided myself on being a unique individual… my constant changes in hobbies as well as my natural ability to excel at many areas in life are something I always held in high regard about myself. In my younger years, I was under the impression that the people surrounding me lived a dully boring, prescribed life. My thoughts were that there was more to life than fitting into a certain niche in life and staying there. They say that variety is the spice of life, and I took that to extents in which many people wouldn’t dare. I found myself able to discuss any topic with some sort of understanding and interest. While people dedicated their lives to one area, I felt the necessity to explore all of them. In the process, I alienated some people because I figured that they weren’t interested in the same variety of life that I was.
I laughed at the fools that blew of life experiences, parties, and all around debauchery to focus on school and becoming part of the machine. So what did I do? I lived my younger years in decadence and debauchery while those fools went out and got real jobs and became the working conformist stiffs. Not me, I was different, I would not be held back, I would see the world, and I would do whatever my heart told me.
The world spun, they all got jobs, and I hung in a balance of free spirit and part time jobs. I refused to associate with pawn in the chess game of our society, so I abandoned the people I grew up with and those I’d associated with on the way. After a few years I found myself in a stasis of poorness and boredom. I changed by not changing at all. I would call those who I’d previously forsaken to see if they wanted to hang out like in the old days. They were all too busy traveling to exotic places and events with the money that they’d earned from their jobs to go back to how things were. Boy is my face red when I think about it.

A female colleague was taking her turn at a dinner party, telling what I and many others call "feeling small stories." Seems that she was a regular at one of these local restaurants that puts artwork for sale up on the walls.

Now, it is important to know that this woman is warm, caring and a real lady! She is also soft-spoken and never have I heard her say a bad thing about anyone.

Well, this night she looked around at the paintings decorating the walls and then called over the waiter. "Who picks out the art for these exhibitions because sometimes I like the works but this time, it is simply hideous"

He replied, " I pick it out and actually I am the artist..."

I am sure that she looked for any uninvited guests in her food that evening!!