Mr. Nghi (Mr. Tom) Huu Nguyen,

How are you? I hope you’re doing great. I may not know the impression you have on me and probably I wouldn’t even get the chance to know… but somehow I feel glad that I’ve finally been brave enough to work on my part. What I mean is I was thinking of sending you message before but I was hesitant. I was so shy. You might even think that I am cheap or not a descent girl. I was so afraid of what you’ll think of me. But this chance is now or never because I may not have other chances anymore. No matter what you’ll think of me, I’ll accept. I will just let time handle everything as well as the consequences.

I am so sorry… I know you are a bit busy yet I taking much of your time once more…I seem to bother you again. Don’t worry this would be (I suppose…) my last letter.

To write you a letter is the only way to tell you what I need to…

I’ve done a good job (I hope and think so). I guess I have taken the right advice from you. I started to be a little confident…to try and to take risks even if I am aware that I couldn’t make it. I worked hard regarding my class standings. I am so glad that I have earned just the right grades. I am working well as a staff writer of the school publication. I am learning to trust myself. I have been so sad since you’ve been gone yet it made me realize a lot of things, to be optimistic and to be friendly. I hope you can see me now in a different perspective. I want to discover and to see more of what life offers. I want to broaden my horizons. I wouldn’t even be able to do all these if I would just sit at a corner without even trying to… I hope I can make it and I can be successful.

Quite honestly, I find it really difficult to forget you… But I guess I am ok now. I can at least say I am. I’d be the one to set an ending to this. I’d be the one to settle the drama.

I felt so ashamed to talk to you and to give you my e-mail address before you left. For what had happened to us, because of that kiss, my very first kiss (the kiss you've granted me) I was filled with so much shame. But my objective of writing you now is not to make you reply…I wouldn’t be that demanding. It’s just, I think this would be my way to get all the answers to my own questions…a way to finally let go ‘cause I know I can’t really have you. I have just been so cruel to myself for a long time. In other words, this would be my way of saying “goodbye”.

If someday, I can get to see your eyes again…your smiles or even your to hear voice once more…I guess I’d be fortunate enough to ask you, “Can we be friends again, Mr. Tom?”

Goodbye…

TAM_Mia Ayala
Originally written on: March 12, 2008
Wednesday 11:00 PM

*I was supposed to ask a Chi Huyen, a former Vietnamese friend and classmate to hand you this letter when she comes back to Vietnam to spend summer vacation with her family.

This is a letter that will forever be unsent. . .

First kiss... What's the big deal? Yes, it's first kiss and you've read it right. I suppose the majority of those who are reading this right now have experienced their first kiss? It is such a wonderful feeling to have those warm and sweet lips of someone you love close to yours. I never thought that at the age of 18, I'll be rewarded a kiss... from foreign lips! But wait... please don't judge me. Don't sentence me as if I am accused of a hideous crime or as if I am a patient of a lethal disease.

I'm not pretty! Lads wouldn't even take a second glance on me once I have crossed their paths. I'm not popular or even an active student of this state university. "NOBODY" might be the perfect term that fits for me. Never did I realize that it would happen to me.

I do admit I like him. He's a man of sweet smiles and soft personality. He is a person who deserves respect and admiration for he have achievements at a very young age. Still, he's eager to learn more, study more, particularly on the language which had been our medium to comprehend with one another---the English language.

Yes, you've made a right guess! He's from a sister university of this institution, a foreign professor.

We became friends even through text (exchanging of text messages through the use of cell phone). Now, you might think that I am an opportunist or a desperate day dreamer but to tell you honestly, I was contented just to talk to him through that means.

We didn't talk personally although we were classmates in some particular academics. He didn't know who I really am. I concealed myself in a pseudonym. I had always been a slave of my own inferiority complex so I was afraid that he might dislike me. I had undergone a lot of rejections from other people before so I really got weights on my head. I didn't even want him to meet me but I felt that I will be so unfair if I would not let him to see me before he leaves. So I decided to meet him, finally, in personal.

The messages he sent to me revealed his personality; kind, smart and absolutely candid. He can always shot me dropped-dead with his statements! I had learned so much from him. He was considerate and his concern on me was manifested through the pieces of advice he bestowed on me.

"Open your heart," that was what he said when we finally met not for a cheap-talking-wine but for a friendly talk. We'd talked about almost anything; from our interests and even about personal matters as we walked and took some laps within the campus. I can still remember the song that was playing from the activity center. He asked me if I know that song... "Only Reminds Me of You..." I never thought that the song would constantly make me cry whenever I hear it being played in an Fm station over the radio. He shared his insights to me especially on the part of the matter between the heart and the mind emerged from our stream of topics to talk about. I was not able to give a good answer---an answer which was worth of an excellent grade of 1 or perhaps an answer which was worth a million dollars. “My mind" was what I uttered when he asked me which I would I follow in a situation which would involve the two. I didn't even wield to explain my answer. Now, I already know which would I follow but the sad thing is... he's not here anymore to tell him so...

I didn't even know if he was not really bothered if other people who were present that time would stare at us thinking that he was a man of poor sense of choice. I have these stupid acne marks on my face that made me feel unease whenever he looks at me. I was filled with so much shame on what my schoolmates would think of me if they would learn about it...

A black and white classic movie on silver screen would be a perfect backdrop when he kissed me. He set me in the midst of a circumstance where I couldn't anymore distinguish a dream from the reality. I felt like I was a black stain on a white unembellished paper. I couldn't move and I couldn't think of anything else but him. So, that's what it feels to be kissed...

That fairytale moment made it much harder for me to accept that he would be leaving so soon... he would be coming back to his very home three days after that day. I would never see him again...

I walked away from him after that kiss... I felt so sad when he said that he wasn't even certain of what he feels for me. Oh, I should’ve been brave enough to run back to him... to hug him tight and to tell him not to leave... but, I've been a coward... I had been so afraid of what impression I might earn from him if I would do that…

He didn't say anything to me before he left but, "It seems to be difficult to say something to you now. Thank you for giving me some unforgettable memories. I will miss you so much..." I understood that he didn't want me to assume of anything from but I hope he didn't give something to hold on to...

I don't know if he does love me or not... Forgive me if I say this, well I think he wouldn't know... I think I'm in love with him!

Is this the only chapter in my life where he would play a role? I'd be a hypocrite if I wouldn't concede the fact that I want him to be a part of me until the story of my life ends…

TAM_Mia ;(
Originally Written on: September 16, 2007
Sunday 10:40 am, at home

Posted: 4/22/2009 1:00:00 AM

In the summer of 1973, Angela met a man named Rodney in Florida. After a brief romance, she conceived a son, whom she has loved and cherished ever since. But as he grew older, Eric wondered about his father. Angela told him stories about the bongo-playing musician from Michigan whose brother was killed by a police officer in a shooting. She remembered Rodney as an outgoing, earnest man but had little more information to give her son.

Eric grew up happily and joined the military as an adult. In February of this year, he contacted Search Quest America in search of his father. "My name is Eric and I would love to meet my father one day. I often wonder what he looks like and if I have other brothers and sisters. I am currently in the United States Air Force and I'm married and we have a beautiful daughter who often asks about her grandfather. It hurts me to tell her that I don't know my father. I'm at a point in my life that I need to know who my father is and my daughter needs to know her grandfather. Can you help us?"

After speaking with Linda, SQA search consultant, Eric's wife and mother decided to pay for the search as a gift to Eric. The case was solved just thirty days later, thanks to SQA researcher Julie Jones.

Today, Eric's father Rodney lives in California. With over 35 years of experience in the entertainment industry and a wealth of experience with youth development and community service, he has dedicated his life to educating, enriching, enhancing, and empowering the youth and young adults of inner city communities. He is a well-known spiritual leader and activist, and is married with a large family. Unfortunately, he didn't know he had another son, and the revelation came as quite a shock to him and his family.

After receiving Julie's report, Angela decided that the best way to make contact with Rodney was through email. She sat back and waited for several days for a response.

A few days later Angela wrote, "Julie, you will not believe all that has happened! I emailed Rodney directly last Sunday. I told him the story of what happened between us, and I gave him the website to see pictures of Eric as well as myself.

"In the meantime, Melinda went on Facebook to see if she could find anything, and--you're not going to believe this--she found Tim, his oldest son on Facebook! She sent him a message asking if Rodney is his father. Tim said yes and asked why. Melinda told him about Eric, and who he is. Needless to say Tim was shocked, but he listened. Melinda sent him pictures, and told Tim about his late uncle. Tim listened and then said 'well I guess there are six of us now.'

"Since that time, he and Melinda have corresponded regularly, so much so that it seems as though they've known each other for quite some time. Tim's wife Veronica has also come on board. She has accepted Eric, and she and Melinda speak frequently.

"Rodney called me for the first time this past Tuesday. He claims not to remember me and he requested a DNA test. That was no problem, and I even offered to pay for the test because I can understand his skepticism. But since Tuesday, I heard nothing else from him.

"But through the correspondence between Tim and Melinda on Facebook and by phone I've learned the following: Rodney's wife was quite upset when she heard the news, and I am told she cried inconsolably, but she always had a feeling that there might have been another child out there. The sisters are just finding out, and the youngest one was mad at her father, but not with Eric, and all the sisters wanted to know if their father knew about Eric all the time. He did not. I had told him that I was pregnant, but that I didn't know what I was going to do, and then he never saw me again because I told him that I didn't want to see him anymore (mind you I was only 19 and had never been in a situation like that before).

"Anyway, Melinda never believed that Rodney would go through with the DNA request, and so far he has not, especially after seeing the pictures of Eric. The resemblance is strong, and Eric looks like his late uncle. Tim sent Melinda and Eric pictures of the family, and Eric looks more like Rodney than any of his siblings. Tim met with Rodney and during that time Rodney told Tim that he's 99.9% sure that Eric is his son.

"All of this happened this week, and because of the information you obtained for us, Melinda and I were able to find the second brother on My Space. As it stands right now Tim and his wife Veronica accepted the situation immediately, and they correspond with Melinda and Eric. Tim joked with Eric that he's still the older brother. Rodney knows about Eric, but so far he has not contacted him.

"Thank you Julie for locating Rodney. I never would have known to look for him in California. In the past I had concentrated in Michigan. I never thought he'd be found, never, and for this to happen, and for Eric to have an opportunity to know his father as well as his siblings, nieces, nephews, uncles, aunts, cousins, etc, is more than I could have ever imagined. And if there are a few blips along the way regarding the family's adjusting to this new knowledge regarding Eric, well that's a small price to pay for Eric's knowing who his father is. Thank you soooo much Julie, and thanks Search Quest America. Sincerely, Angela"

In the past month since Angela sent this email, Eric and Rodney took a paternity test and are still waiting to receive the results. Meanwhile, Eric is about to be re-stationed and hopes to have the opportunity to meet Rodney before possibly being moved overseas.

Eric's advice to other individuals in his shoes is to "have faith. Have patience. Something will happen. I went all of my life without knowing my father and I never thought I would find him. Somewhere in the back of my mind I hoped I would, but with patience and faith it all worked out."

(Written by Mica Burton on Erics behalf.)

http://www.reunionstories.com/stories.asp?id=26

Posted: 4/25/2009 1:00:00 AM

Things are not always what they seem. With help from Search Quest America, I was able to find my mother and meet her for the first time in almost 50 years. This helped bring closure to a situation that I have been dealing with all my life. I hope that my story will be an inspiration to anyone else who has all but given up searching for a missing loved one.

When I was just a child, I said goodbye to my mother for the last time and watched her drive away. She thought my dad's sister would take care of us, but she didn't have the means or the inclination to do so. At first she pawned us off on other relatives until finally there was no one left and we were placed in foster care. After several months, my dad found us and got custody. He was an ex-marine, flipped out and loony. We were terrified of him growing up, and abused as no child should be.

Somehow we overcame our circumstances and grew into happy adults. I got married and had a family of my own and could never understand how my mother was able to just walk away one day and never look back. I heard over the years that she remarried and moved on, and I was angry that she had forgotten us. I also knew that she was an alcoholic and had grown up in difficult circumstances herself, but I still struggled with feelings of bitterness.

There comes a time in everyones life when open chapters need to be closed and old wounds put to rest. For me, a large part of the healing process was finding my mother. I wanted to look her in the face and see what kind of woman she had become, and deep down I needed to know if she ever loved me.

For me personally, it was a matter of prayer. I believe in a divine creator, and I believe that he hears and answers me when I pray. One day I sat down to talk to him and said, "Ok, God. You know where she is. If you're such a big God, then tell me how to find her." I asked for what I needed, and kept asking until finally I was pleading for that connection and for answers to my lifelong questions.

First, I hired a private detective to find her. After paying several thousand dollars I was told she was not interested in making contact with me. When I tried again to contact her a few months later she had moved and I felt I had reached a dead end. Finally, I contacted Search Quest America and purchased a comprehensive database report. I found out that over the years, Mom remarried and moved several times. I received an address, but no phone number.

The first thing I did was send her flowers. It was her birthday, and it seemed like a good way to break the ice. I called a local florist and had them delivered. On the card I wrote, "Happy birthday, Mother, from your daughter Karen. I've always loved you." We waited for weeks, and never heard anything back.

My husband and I prayed and prayed to know what to do. Finally he stood up and said, "I feel like were supposed to just get on an airplane and go out there." That day we booked a flight to Washington. We rented a car and drove to her small town, all the while practicing what we would say. We even typed out 3x5 index cards. "Hello, my name is Karen. I am your daughter." What do you say to a woman who abandoned you a lifetime ago?

When we pulled up to the small, quaint house we saw that the next door neighbor was outside doing yard work. We got out of the car and approached him. His yard was separated from my mothers yard by a large hedge, and he gestured that direction and said, "Marge has Alzheimers. She's nice enough most days, but she won't remember you tomorrow. So don't expect too much. She's been an alcoholic all her life, and it doesn't look like she'll last much longer."

It's hard to explain what I felt in that moment. I had conjured up in my mind the image of strong, independent, hard-hearted woman. In my mind she was still the woman who turned her back on my brother and I fifty years ago. I never pictured her as an ailing or elderly woman, nor had I considered that I could find my mother and still never find the answers I sought.

The next moment, we heard a frail voice from the other side of the hedge. My mother walked right up to us and looked me square in the face. I thought, "I'm 50 years old and this is the first time I'm ever going to see my mother."

She said, "Hello, could you come over here and help me? My back is hurting and I need to sit down." Such a simple request, but I froze to the spot. After a moment I came to my senses and took her by the arm, leading her back to her porch and easing her into the chair by the door. It was surreal. We sat on the porch chatting for a few minutes as if we were complete strangers. Then she said, "I'm getting cold. Could you help me inside the house?" she invited us in and we sat down. We heard a shower turn off in the back of the house and her husband Larry joined us a few minutes later.

We couldn't forget that we had come for a reason. Marge left the room for a moment and I asked, "Larry, do you know anything about Marge's past? We have a few things to tell you that might surprise you."

"Lately, after what I've been through, nothing surprises me," he said. "I know she was married before, and at one point she had 2 children. She used to wonder about them. You know, before. She said she had to get away from that man, but she always felt bad about leaving her kids. Drunk herself near to death over it," he muttered.

Marge was off in the kitchen fussing over something, and we explained to Larry, "I'm Karen, and I'm her daughter. I came to find out who she is, and how she's doing, you know. I don't need anything from her. I have a wonderful life. I just needed to know what had ever happened to her."

"Well she isn't doing so good right now. Not sure what kind of shock it would be to know who you are if you know what I mean. We got the flowers you sent, but she was detoxing at the time. You know she's an alcoholic. I didn't tell her who sent them. All those years she ran away from what she did and tried to forget about it. Now she's an old lady and the Alzheimers did it for her. You really want to bring it all up again?" I understood what he was asking--that I turn around and walk away and leave the past alone.

I didn't know what to do. The scene in front of me was so different from anything that I had been expecting that I had no idea what to do or say.

So we didn't do anything. We spent a few minutes on a chilly afternoon getting to know a lonely old woman. We smiled at her jokes that didn't quite make sense, patted her on the back and said "Goodbye for now." We snapped a few pictures and she never even asked why. As we walked out she said, "it has been a nice visit. Why don't you come back tomorrow?" But her husband shook his head behind her and his message was clear--don't come back, and don't tell her who you are.

On the airplane my husband asked if I was disappointed. "You seem very serene," he said. "Are you ok?" I thought about that question for a long time. Was I ok? I had asked and pleaded for the opportunity to meet my mother just once. I felt like God was saying to me, "here it is. You wanted this. I always knew where she was. Now you do too."

Meeting her gave me answers and truly, it changed my life. It also gave me hope. It closed chapters of my life that have always been hanging open. Even just to know that she's alive settles something in me. So I just laid my head on my husband's shoulder and I said, "I know I'm not alone in this world. That's enough for now."

That was last September. I've done a lot of soul-searching since then. I have decided that I'm going to visit her again in the spring. This time I'm going to tell her that I'm her daughter, and that I love her. Then I'm going to wrap my arms around her and tell her that I forgive her, and God does too.

This isn't a tragic ending--it's a happy one. I don't pity her because I know she chose her life. She wallowed in it every day. I dont hate her, I forgive her. Life is about choices, and that was hers. This is mine.

(Written by Mica Burton on Karens behalf.)

http://www.reunionstories.com/stories.asp?id=27

Posted: 7/11/2009 1:00:00 AM

One day when I was six years old, I ran to my neighbor's house crying about my mother. I didn't feel like she loved me as much as my older brother, and I could not understand what I had done wrong. That's when my neighbor dropped a bomb, saying "You know, she isn't your real mother. She adopted you when you were a baby." I was shocked, and I although I didn't understand what adoption was, the words resonated in my mind, "She isn't your real mother." That night I confronted my parents at the dinner table, and they frankly denied it. "She's just a troublemaker trying to cause problems, don't give it another thought!" I was sent to my room that night and I learned never to bring the subject up again. As I grew older the distance between us grew and filled with anger and resentment. I knew there was something different about the way my mother treated me, and I was angry that no one would tell me the truth.

I am 51 years old now, and my parents passed away 13 years ago. Right after the funeral, my aunt came to me and said, "I promised them I wouldn't tell you until they were dead, but I guess I can tell you now. You were adopted, and your brother isn't your brother, he's your uncle." My aunt revealed the whole story. My mother gave birth to a baby boy who died a few days later. She and my father were acquaintances with a woman who was married to an abusive man. She had several children, and when she gave birth to a baby boy at the same time as my mother, she had compassion on her and let my parents adopt him. A few months later, she found out that her 15 year old daughter was expecting as well, and since my parents had provided a good home for her son, the woman forced her daughter to let my parents adopt her baby girl as well. So we were raised as siblings, when in reality my brother is actually my uncle. My aunt provided the original adoption papers, non-identifying information, and encouraged me to seek out my birth family. For me it was a joy to finally know the truth about my adoption, but my brother was devastated and felt betrayed that our parents never told him the truth. I am still angry at them for all the lies they told over the years, but now they are dead and I can't even tell them. My mother doted on my brother because he represented the baby she lost, but I never felt like she loved me the same. In truth I feel like I grew up without a mother, and after all these years I need to find the woman who gave birth to me so that I can feel like I belong to someone.

Two months after I contacted Search Quest America, Julie Jones solved my case. She called me on the phone one day and said, 'I found your birth mother alive and well. She lives in Missouri. She's waiting for you to call." I was shocked. I dreamed of finding her for years, but never visualized how the first conversation would go, or even decided what kind of relationship I was really looking for. Wary, I called her and we had a pleasant, but brief conversation. A few days later I received a long letter in the mail and she told me the whole story.

Supposedly, she was raped when she was 15, and I am a product of that rape. She says that my birth father and one of his friends went to jail over the situation, and though she wanted to keep me, her mother was ashamed and forced her to give me up. How was I supposed to react when I received that news? I never imagined that I was conceived violently, yet at the same time I am not sure how much of the story I can believe. I don't know for a fact if what she says is true, and I am not inclined to trust the mother figures in my life. She also said in the letter that she plans to visit me at my home in Indiana in 2 weeks. I do not feel ready to meet her or to face this new information. I feel like I opened Pandora's box and I am torn between wanting to slam it closed again and wanting to embrace my birth mother and her version of my past. One thing is for sure, I am definitely going to take this reunion slow.

I responded to her letter today. I explained that I am happy to finally know who I resemble. I am grateful to be able to identify myself and know who I belong to. But I am not a scared little girl anymore, I am a grown woman. I do want her in my life, but she can't smother me. I never really had a mother, and I will have to learn all over again how to love and trust her, birth mother or not. But I want to. So we'll take it slow. I am satisfied to finally have all the secrets revealed and the mystery solved. For me it brings closure, peace, and new hope.

(Written by Mica Burton on Peggy's behalf.)

http://www.reunionstories.com/stories.asp?id=49

Posted: 7/15/2009 1:00:00 AM

"I sent my son a birthday card for the first time this week. In the card I wrote, 'I have cried every year on this day for 45 years. This year I'm crying tears of joy. Thank you for the privilege of knowing you.' Today I also want to thank Search Quest America for making it happen. I can't believe I waited 45 years for a search that took less than a week!"

"When I was only 20, I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy and then gave him up for adoption. Although adoption is right for some people, I have been tormented by my decision ever since. I ask myself every single day what kind of life he had, and if he turned out to be somebody, or if he is still alive."

For Carol, finding for her son was the key to forgiving herself and moving on with her life. For years she has been weighted down by guilt and unanswered questions. "I never allowed myself to get pregnant again, I felt so guilty." Through the years she did everything she could to try to find her son--she spoke with the attorney who handled the adoption, visited the hospital where she gave birth, and even wrote letters to the doctors who delivered him--to no avail. Finally, she turned to Search Quest America. Susan, SQA's CEO and Head researcher, located him in Washington after only 4 days.

Carol was worried he wouldn't want to talk to her, but when Susan contacted him, he was so receptive that he booked a plane ticket to meet Carol the following week. Matt has led a very well-adjusted, happy life and is educated, intelligent, and full of class. He is a very successful software programmer and is president of a company that employs over 200 other programmers. "He's incredible," Carol says.

He brought with him photographs of Carol's two grandchildren, 15 and 17. One of them is even graduating high school this year as valedictorian. Carol couldn't be more proud.

"Dear Susan, I just want say thank you because I cannot find any other words to truly express the happiness that has been brought into my life. Finding my son is one of the greatest gifts that I ever received. It all happened so fast and with such grace that it still does not seem real. I still sit down every once in a while to shed a few tears and to try to grasp it all."

"My son flew in from Washington to meet us. We spent magical days together. We now have tickets to fly out there to meet the rest of the family. Again, thank you so very much for all you have done. Linda and yourself have been wonderful to work with. I have called other web sites and felt like I had called a used car lot, but working with you has been a very positive experience. The decision to find someone is a very emotional decision and needs to be treated as such. I am living a fairy tale! It is absolutely unreal."

This January Carol received her own birthday card in the mail. He wrote, "thank you for tracking me down. Love Matt."

http://www.reunionstories.com/stories.asp?id=16

Posted: 7/18/2009 1:00:00 AM

"I'm looking for my daughter's father. He left for Germany on Jan. 19, 1979. I was pregnant with his daughter but neither of us knew it at the time. I waited 5 yrs for him to come back but he never did. He made a career out of the Army. It has now been 30 years and every day I think about this. When I look at my grandson, now 7, I am struck by how much he looks like his grandfather. For years, I continued to better myself in hopes he would come back and be very proud of me and how I raised our daughter. I am a successful real estate broker with a company in two cities, I own and operate an assisted living facility and I have just opened our home and grounds for people to use as a wedding place. My husband says I am so driven that he has never seen anything like it. I have to be the best at everything. I think it's because I have never had closure on this one issue in my life. I am a happy person and I never ask anyone for anything. I have always taken care of things and especially my daughter, but I can't seem to get this taken care of by myself. I need help this time."

That was the email Lisa wrote to Search Quest America in March of 2009. Her daughter, Christy, has known about her father her entire life. Members of her family continue to debate about whether or not James Robert knew about her birth. Lisa sent him a letter when she gave birth, and Christy herself sent him letters periodically throughout her childhood, but received no response.

Lisa's case was assigned to Julie Jones, who solved it in two weeks. Today, James Robert lives in Tennessee with a family of his own. He is married and has several children, the youngest being only 10 years old.

First, Lisa sent him a detailed, heart-felt letter asking him to contact Christy. She received no response. She sent letters to all the addresses provided, but still nothing. After waiting over a month, Lisa contacted James' family, beginning with Christy's grandmother. She was overjoyed to receive the first phone call, and said, "I have wondered about this for thirty years!! When can I meet my grandbaby?" James' sister was also excited to get in touch with Lisa and Christy, and began corresponding through email and providing pictures of the family. She also revealed that they heard a rumor that James had a son, and they encouraged him to seek Lisa out. James refused, denying paternity. He has been married several times throughout the years, became a heavy drinker, and demanded that a DNA test be performed before he would acknowledge Christy.

Lisa and Christy were devastated. Lisa says, "We have been living this dream for thirty years, and we hoped that the reason we had not heard from him was because he never received our letters. The reality is so much worse. He did receive our letters, but didn't even have the courtesy to respond. Christy is heartbroken. I started this search because I wanted to give her closure and a chance at a relationship with her father. Instead he ended up hurting her. She's a big girl and tries not to show it, but I know that deep down it hurts. Even my little grandchildren ask when they can meet their grandpa. We still have hope that after the DNA test confirms his paternity, he might come around. And we are still glad to have closure. Being a single mother was very difficult, but it made me into the strong woman I am today. I am sad for him because he missed out on Christy's childhood, and he might miss the chance to be a part of her adult life.

After we contacted his mom, he googled me on the internet and sent me an email. He said "look, she's not mine. Sorry but you have the wrong guy." To me that was like adding insult to injury. We loved each other once. I responded and said, "She IS yours. You know there was no one else. You can deny it for the next thirty years if you want to, but it doesn't change the fact that you have a daughter who loves you and prays every day that you will pick up the phone and invite her into your life. The choice is yours but I will warn you--if you wait too long you will lose the opportunity to get to know a wonderful woman and your own grandchildren. They look like you."

Lisa and Christy are still waiting for the results of the DNA test. In the mean time they have formed relationships with Christy's grandmother and aunts. They are still waiting for James Robert to come around.

(Written by Mica Burton on Lisa and Christy's behalf.)

http://www.reunionstories.com/stories.asp?id=50

Posted: 7/22/2009 1:00:00 AM

I was put up for adoption when I was 4 days old. My adoptive family was very religious, and I was raised with a brother who was also adopted. My parents were in their late forties when I was born. I had a good life and am grateful to my parents for teaching me strong values, but as I grew older the generation gap widened and I felt out of place. They passed away years ago, along with my brother, and I was left with an empty place in my life. I had always wondered about my birth mother, and now that I didn't have to worry about offending my adoptive parents, I decided to move forward with the search.

When I contacted Search Quest America I was impressed by their professionalism and something about the company told me I could trust them. I was not disappointed--Julie Jones called me one morning to introduce herself as my researcher, and she called me that same afternoon to tell me my case had been solved. She found my birth mother, Rose. She appeared to be living, and Julie and asked my permission to contact her. I waited by the phone and reflected on the information Julie had provided.

When I was born, Rose was 24 and unmarried. When my birth father found out she was pregnant, he made it clear that he didn not want anything to do with her or the financial responsibility of having a child. At the time, Rose was living with her sister, Virginia, in San Francisco. Virginia was also a single mother, bitterly struggling to raise an infant. Faced with the reality of single parenthood, Rose decided to give me a chance at a better life by putting me up for adoption.

Julie called me back a few hours later and I could tell by the tone in her voice that something was wrong. Julie had spoken with Chuck, the man Rose married, and found out that Rose recently passed away from esophageal cancer. What was worse, Chuck had no idea Rose had given up a child for adoption, and he was not interested in speaking with me. To say I was disappointed would be an understatement. Julie gave me his address and told me to write him a letter, which I did. Meanwhile, Julie found Virginia, Rose's sister and called to speak with her. Virginia also refused to speak with me, and hung up the phone. That was another harsh blow.

Finally, Julie got in touch with Virginia's daughter Wendy, who was excited about meeting me. She called me a few days later and I began to learn about my birth mother through her. We corresponded for months through email and little by little she sent me photos of my birth mother and the rest of the family. It was not the happy ending I had hoped for, but I accepted the situation, case closed.

Nine months later, Chuck responded to my letter. He wrote that he had thought about me for months, and finally remembered that years ago, on a sunny afternoon, Rose did mention that she gave a baby up for adoption. He and Rose never had children of their own, and he apologized for reacting negatively when Cindy called. He asked if I would still be willing to talk with him over the phone. I laughed out loud, grinned for days, and picked up the phone to try again. Since that day, Chuck and I have spoke several times; for both of us it is like having a part of Rose back again. Just the other day he sent me an email and said, "I am so happy that Rose decided to have you."

This whole experience has been life-changing. Months ago I was resigned to the fact that I would never have a relationship with my birth family, but now I am blessed to have a relationship with Chuck and Wendy. Maybe one day I'll get to meet them and my story will come full circle.


I guess it just goes to show that patience is a virtue. From this experience I have learned that everything happens for a reason and in its own time. Maybe if I had contacted Rose while she was still alive, she might have refused to dredge up that part of her life. One way or another, I'm glad I finally made the call to Search Quest America.

(Written by Mica Burton on Cindy's behalf).

http://www.reunionstories.com/stories.asp?id=51

Posted: 7/25/2009 1:00:00 AM

What made me decide to search for my birth family? I could write a dissertation on this subject as I have done for the last 20 years in my mind. What it all boils down to is a question of "Where did I come from?" Also there are some medical issues that I want to see about but apparently, that is not a good enough reason for the judge in Cameron County, Texas to unseal the records.

I was born in July of 1970 in San Antonio, Texas. My birth mother, Nancy, was only 16 when she put me up for adoption through Buckner Baptist. Back in 1990, I hired the agency to find her. At that time she was living in Corpus Christi, but she told the agent that she wasn't in a position to reunite with me at that time. The agent did not give me copies of the information they found, but they told me that Nancy got married quickly after I was born and had several children with her husband. When Buckner met with her back then, she was taking care of one of the grandbabies because one of my half brothers was in jail. Obviously it wasn't the outcome I was hoping for, but I never gave up hope that one day we would be reunited.

Today, nearly twenty years later, I finally have all the information I was looking for. I hired Search Quest America to find her again. Julie talked me through the process of applying for my non-identifying information. After two months of searching, she located Nancy living in Odessa, Texas. She gave me information about Nancy's history, including her criminal background, and painted a picture about the lifestyle Nancy and her children are leading. I can't deny that at first it put me off to find out that Nancy herself has a criminal record. No one imagines their birth mother being in jail, and when I got the news I needed some time to figure out how to proceed. It has been a month since Julie first gave me the news, and I think I am ready for Julie to contact her.

I have a lot of questions. What situation led her to put me up for adoption? Who is my birth father and what is his situation/lifestyle today? What medical issues should I watch out for? Has she told her family about my birth and does she want to meet me? I am so grateful that I have Julie who will make the contact for me and be able to get this information. Even if she isn't willing to meet me, I'll at least have the answers I need for my family. If she hasn't told her family or for some reason doesn't want to relive the past, I am prepared to walk away and put it to rest. If she is willing to reunite with me, then I'll keep in touch with her for the rest of my life. I'm still a little leery but I'm willing to proceed with caution.

I really made the right choice when I contacted Search Quest America. I have always felt like they were on my side one hundred percent, and Julie has been my guide through the whole process. I couldn't have done it alone, and it has been so nice to know that with SQA I don't have to. I'm still not sure how my story will turn out, but I am finally ready to open a new chapter.

(Written by Mica Burton on Artie's behalf).

http://www.reunionstories.com/stories.asp?id=52

Posted: 7/29/2009 1:00:00 AM

I have never seen or met my birth mother. This information has been withheld from me since birth and is a constant void in my life. I grew up in a very strict household and though I was grateful to my parents for the life they had given me, I was never satisfied with their answers to my questions. I am 50 years old, but still worry that the decisions I make will disappoint my father.

Nevertheless, I decided that the time had come to search for my biological family. All I knew was that I was born in 1959 in Tuskegee, Alabama to Mary Louise Davis, who was a 24-year-old African American woman born somewhere in Alabama. My original birth certificate says that I have an older brother, who was a toddler when I was born.

I contacted Search Quest America with this information and my case was assigned to Julie Jones. She was wonderful! She got to work right away, contacting Tuskegee University to find out if my birth mother had ever been a student there. She even contacted my father, who is in his seventies, to find out if he remembered any other details about my adoption. He recalled that my birth mother was born and raised in Tuskegee, but never went to the University. She gave me up for adoption because she had no vocational training, no job, no education, and no hope to care for a second child. He also remembered that her son's last name was also Davis, that her father was a farmer, and that she eventually moved to Connecticut. When Julie told me she had extracted all this information from him, I was shocked! She put all these pieces together and found my birth mother after just two months. She is alive and well at 73.

Julie also offered me helpful advice about how to make contact with my birth family for the first time. Since we had no way of knowing my birth mother's medical/mental condition or whether or not she would be receptive to meeting me, Julie contacted my older brother Bobbie instead. He confirmed that his mom had given a baby girl up for adoption, and all of the pieces of the puzzle fit into place perfectly. He couldn't wait to talk to me, and he agreed to break the news to our mom. When he talked to Mary for the first time, she was hesitant to make contact with me. My father has always been an intimidating man and even after all these years, she is afraid of my him. I decided that after waiting 50 years, I can afford to take the reunion slow and go at the pace that is comfortable for her.

My first conversation with my half brother was incredible! I always knew I had a brother out there somewhere, and I have been dying to find out if we have anything in common or whether we look alike. How can I even describe what it feels like to finally hear his voice and solve the mystery behind my birth and adoption? We are planning to get together for the first time in August and I can't wait! I truly feel like a lifetime of prayers have been answered all at once and I feel blessed to be able to meet my birth family. I know that not every story turns out this way.

Thank you so much for all your help and assistance. Search Quest America is awesome and genuine. Again, thank you! God Bless, Paula.

(Written by Mica Burton on Paula's behalf.)

http://g.astrology.com/course/dreams/dreams_default.jpg

Posted: 8/1/2009 1:00:00 AM

I had an affair with Leah Howard when I was on medical hold in the Marine Corps stationed at Alameda Naval station 27 years ago. My daughter was born at Oaknoll Naval Hospital in Alameada, California. After her mother and I stopped seeing each other, I doubted our relationship. When Leah told me she was pregnant, I denied paternity and convinced all my friends that it was another marine's baby. When Angela was born I signed the papers saying I turned over my parental rights, confident that I was doing the right thing. But right afterwards, I held her for the first time and I knew she was my child. I had a choice to make in that moment, and I let the marine inside of me take over and I pretended not to care. To this day I have regretted that choice. I have a spot in my life that is missing, and even after trying another PI service, I have gotten nowhere in my quest to reunite with my daughter and the woman I once loved. I was scammed, ripped off, lied to, and ignored for many months. Trusting another company was a risk, but I have come to a point in my life where I need to right past wrongs and become the man and the father I am meant to be.

I cannot thank you all enough for the time and effort you put into solving this case. I am still amazed that you found them! When Julie spoke to Leah for the first time, she said, "I am looking for a Leah Howard who was in the Navy stationed in California in the early 1980's. I am a PI and I have a client by the name of Patrick that is looking for his daughter, Angela, who he had with Leah Howard." Julie told me she responded, "Oh my God, Patrick is stepping up to the plate 27 years later. My daughter is downstairs, she will be thrilled. He's a grandfather."

Truly, solving this mystery has put so many questions to rest. I have a beautiful, successful daughter and I even have grandchildren! I can't thank you enough for making my life totally complete. I went to Connecticut a few months ago. We spent a week together getting to know each other for the first time. Now Leah and her family are here in South Dakota visiting me for two weeks. They leave on Tuesday and I am amazed that even after all this time we have had no problems connecting to each other. I introduced Angela to her grandparents, a great uncle who is 82, and several other relatives. Angela doesn't have any grandparents on her mother's side, so she is thrilled to have grandparents for the first time in her life. She will meet the rest of her aunts, nephews, and nieces this May or sooner. Julie, you have taught me that DREAMS ARE FOR REAL and sometimes life really does give us second chances. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

(Written by Mica Burton on Patrick's behalf.)

http://www.reunionstories.com/stories.asp?id=54

Posted: 8/8/2009 1:00:00 AM

The vast majority of individuals in search for lost loved ones are adoptees and birth parents. Yet occasionally we hear from the other member of the adoption triad--the adoptive parent.

Nancy contacted Search Quest America in July with the following request. She wrote, "My adopted daughter has been struggling so much. She had a brain tumor when she was only eight which left so many residual effects. It hurts me to watch her struggle to figure out who she is and I want to help her any way I can. I believe that locating her birth mother might help to heal the giant emptiness she carries around with her. As much as I wish I could, I can't seem to fill it. Please help."

Nancy's daughter Kelsey was born in San Antonio, Texas in November of 1989. She was put up for adoption through ABC Agency. Her non-identifying information reports that her birth mother was Hispanic, but provides little other information.

Nevertheless, Julie Jones, on of SQA's most experienced researchers, was able to locate Kelsey's birth mother in just over a week. She and Kelsey's birth father are still together, and they have three other children. Their 2 sons and 1 daughter are Kelsey's full siblings, and by reuniting with them, Kelsey has been able to answer many of her lifelong questions.

"Somehow it just helps to know where I come from. There's nothing like looking into the faces of your biological parents and getting to hug your full siblings for the first time. I can't believe my mom did this for me--it was such an unselfish thing to do and it proves to me that I am blessed with two moms who both love me enough to do what is best for me."

Nancy is also glad she decided to search. "I just spoke with Kelsey's birth mother for the first time the other day and she is just lovely. Kelsey has a little sister who cannot wait to meet her. I am so glad that I did this and I cannot thank you enough. I think that this will help to heal the emptiness that Kelsey has had for so long. Some of my friends have asked me why I did this. 'Aren't you afraid of losing her?' they ask me. Of course, the thought has crossed my mind. But if you think about it, I was already losing her to her doubts and insecurities. Finding her birth mother was the key to bringing my little girl back to me. At the end of the day I want what's best for my daughter, and if that means letting her go and make her own decisions, I'm ok with that. Every day for the last twenty years, I have said a prayer of gratitude for the scared, pregnant woman who gave me my miracle child. The choice she made to put Kelsey up for adoption has been the key to my every happiness. With that perspective, how could I NOT allow her a little piece of the same happiness?"

(Written by Mica Burton on Nancy's behalf.)

http://www.reunionstories.com/stories.asp?id=56

Posted: 8/5/2009 1:00:00 AM

"I found out when I was 16 that my Dad had been married and divorced before he married my mother, and that I had a half-brother 8 years older than I. (I believe his birth name was Dave and he was born near Missoula, Montana). At that time, I also had one full brother, Kurt, who was 3 years younger than I. My Dad had always wanted contact with his first son, but apparently his divorce was bitter, and all attempts he made to see his son or establish a relationship were ignored. When I was 20, my father died from emphysema, and my mother was bitter. At that time said she no longer wanted to meet his first son, since he hadn't responded to contact attempts when my Dad was alive. My Dad did leave a small inheritance to his first son, and the lawyers who executed his will managed to successfully locate him to inform him of the inheritance. If for no other reason, at that time, I was curious about my "other" brother, but I didn't want to "make waves" or upset my Mom.

"Since my half brother is 8 years my senior, I've always had the impression that he knew about me and my brother Kurt. I felt he could have contacted us if he'd wanted to know us. I also had some hesitation because we heard that when he was in his 30's, he changed his name to his mother's maiden name or perhaps a step-father, if she'd remarried. I've tried off and on over the years to find information about him, but without success. Last September, my brother, Kurt, was killed in a motor scooter accident in Texas near his home. My mother is 89 and lives with me in Oregon now, and now she understands why I am becoming more anxious to find out if my half-brother is alive, and what kind of person he is. I don't have very much family - I was only briefly married once, and have no kids. Other than my brother's widow, Karen, and her son Max, I really have no other close family, and they are not really 'close' in some ways. I guess I'm feeling pretty alone and vulnerable, and time keeps marching on."

When Ilona decided to make her search a priority, she sent this email to Search Quest America. Her case was assigned to Julie Jones, who solved it in only a matter of days--that was Ilona's first surprise. The second was to learn that contrary to what she had believed her entire life, her brother had no idea she existed. What she perceived as rejection of her father's attempts to reach out to him was in fact ignorance of his existence. Throughout his childhood years, his mother shielded him from his fathers attempt to contact him. He never received a single one of the birthday cards or Christmas gifts his father sent over the years. When Julie contacted him, he was thrilled to learn that he had a sister, and eagerly called her that same day. Recently, Ilona sent the following update:

"Just thought I'd get back to you. Thank you so much for finding my brother! Bud (he has had that nickname since he was little) and I have talked on the phone many times now, and he flew here to Oregon from Colorado Springs June 1 - June 9 and stayed with my Mom and I. We had a great time, and I now feel I really have a lot more family! I've got another 'sister', and I'm an aunt and great-aunt! He and his wife will have been married 40 years this coming November. All my friends say they can see a definite resemblance between us. I think this has been really good for him, too, because his mother never told him anything positive about our Dad, and in fact, led him to believe that Dad had no interest in him after his divorce from Bud's Mom. He had no idea that my mom and dad tried repeatedly over the years to establish contact, and sent gifts/cards, etc. on birthdays, Xmas. He was never aware of any of their attempts. So I think a lifelong wound inside him finally has a chance to heal now. Thanks for all your help Julie, I couldn't have done it without you!"

(Written by Mica Burton on Ilona's behalf)

http://www.reunionstories.com/stories.asp?id=55

cynthia smith - colorado

Marri (ISRR Registrar) called on a quiet Sunday morning and told me that my registration form had generated a match. Initially, I was surprised and speechless. Fortunately, Marri was calm and helped walk me through the logical step of scheduling a first call. What a wonderful lady!

First Meeting ~ My birthmother flew to Denver from Atlanta to meet me. I was at the airport with my four children, ages 2-13. They had made a sign that read “Welcome Grandma Kay!” She saw us as soon as she stepped off the elevator, and a dream came true!

A wonderful, warm, caring relationship has ensued between us. We communicate via email several times a week and by phone every Sunday. We’re both looking forward to the future.

I certainly did not imagine that it would be so great. It has given me a renewed sense of self and has made me want to be a better person. I’m just sorry that she had to wait so long for me to register.

Our reunion has brought a lot of happiness and joy to both our families. My mother’s parents, siblings, nieces and nephews have all be incredibly supportive ; and my husband and children are thrilled and have gained a new family member!

I would definitely encourage others to follow the same path I did. I have been able to have so many of my questions answered and have also been able to thank her for giving the ultimate gift of herself with only my happiness and well being in mind.

http://www.isrr.net/reunions.shtml

Posted: 6/6/2009 1:00:00 AM

The first shock I received when I spoke with my brother Richard for the first time was his voice--it is almost identical to my own. I am 57 years old and until a few weeks ago, I thought I was an only child. This is my story.

My parents told me I was adopted when I was very young. They tried to communicate that I was special and chosen, but I always wondered why my "real" mom didn't want me. I learned early on to keep these questions to myself, however. The few times I mentioned wanting to find my birth mother, my mom made it clear that she would not support me in that decision. So I left it alone.

But the void I felt as a youngster has only grown with time. A few months ago my wife and I were watching an episode of The Locator and we decided to pursue the search for my birth mother in secret. It was a challenge to keep it from my mom. She is 93 years old and since her health is failing, we have been caring for her in our home for several years now.

I provided Search Quest America with all the information I had. I knew I was born in Pennsylvania in August of 1951, and that my birth parents were Jelen Mae Frayer and Earl Elrich. I knew nothing about the circumstances that led to my adoption, and could only infer that my mother was unmarried at the time of my birth. I was still trying to figure out how to break the news of my search to my mother when I received a call back from my researcher, Julie Jones. She had already located my birth family!

Unfortunately my birth mother Jelen Mae passed away from a heart attack several years ago. Julie did find out that I have a half-brother named Richard. With my permission, she contacted him on my behalf. Richard had no idea his mother had another child. He was so convinced to the contrary that he hung up on Julie when she first called him. When she called back he said, "I don't know what kind of scam you are trying to pull, but I am an only child."

Julie calmly outlined the facts. She described my birth mother in detail, using names and dates and facts that Richard could not deny. He agreed to discuss the matter with his family and then get back to her. In the meantime, Julie contacted Jelen's sister, my aunt Martha. For several years Martha has worked at a Walmart just a few minutes from my home. Coincidentally my wife also works there, and they have spoken on more than one occasion. She was also shocked to learn that her sister had had another child, but after speaking with Julie she was eager to meet me.

I called my wife right after I got off the phone with Julie, and she approached Martha. They cried together right there in the store. Since that day we have gotten together many times and I was able to talk to Richard on the phone. Seeing photographs of my mother is unlike anything I have ever experienced. I look just like her, and for the first time in my life, my void has been filled to know where I came from. I can't believe we have all lived so close together for all these years and never knew we were related! I wonder if I ever met my brother, passed him on the street, or ate in the same restaurant at the same time.

Unfortunately, there are still several mysteries that will remain unsolved. My birth mother hid her pregnancy from the world. She must have given birth alone and although she was very close to Martha she never confided in her or discussed her decision to place me up for adoption. Richard was six when I was born, and since Jelen was unmarried, she may have felt that she did not have the resources to raise another child. No one knows who my birth father was or if he knew about me. I will continue searching for him and hopefully find a few more answers.

For now I am content to get to know my brother and make up for lost time. Thank you Search Quest America for making this reunion possible. Your services have by far exceeded my expectations and I wholeheartedly recommend your company to other adoptees who are searching for answers as I was.

(Written by Mica Burton on John's behalf)

http://www.reunionstories.com/stories.asp?id=39

Posted: 6/13/2009 1:00:00 AM

I was raised in a biracial family. My adoptive mother was Portuguese, and my adoptive father was white. My mom was 42 when she adopted me, and all she knew about my background was that my birth mother was raped by a black man and she decided to give me up for adoption.

I never thought much about the color of my skin, but it seemed that everyone around me did. People would look at us strangely wherever we went. It was the fifties, and even in the grocery store they would give my mom dirty looks--she was a dark-skinned woman holding a pretty child with curly blond ringlets and olive skin. I can remember in elementary school I used to get in fights all the time. The white girls wouldn't play with me, and the black kids said I wasn't dark enough to be black. I felt like a fish out of water all through my adolescent years. I often wondered what my birth parents looked like, and began to dream of being reunited with them one day. By the time I reached early adulthood, I had learned to make true friends who were both black and white.

I did well in high school and was accepted to Boston College to study accounting. I received several scholarships and grants available to minority students. Unfortunately during my freshman year I became extremely ill with what we now know is Ileitis or colitis. At that time the doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong with me, but I would collapse on campus from extreme abdominal pain caused by the disease. I was hospitalized for over a month and one day my mother called me and demanded to know what was really happening. She thought that I was just like my mother and was actually having an abortion, which would have contradicted everything she had tried to ingrain in me throughout my childhood. In that moment I understood why she had always been so harsh and cold--deep down she was worried I would turn out to be just like my birth mother, or worse, my birth father.

A few years later I met and married my husband Chet, who served in the navy for many years. We have been happily married for over 26 years and we have 3 sons and 4 grandchildren. I got that same look in the grocery store when my first son was born with bright blue eyes. Everyone questioned his paternity since they didn't think it was possible for a half-black woman and a Creole man to produce a blue-eyed baby. I always told my son to tell people he got his blue eyes from his mom and Jesus, and to leave it at that. But deep down I wondered about my heritage and dreamed about finding my birth mother.

I spoke with Linda at SQA for the first time last November. I knew it was time to move forward and finally find the answers to my questions, good or bad. Julie Jones solved my case in less than a week. I was amazed at how efficient she was, but shocked at the answers she found.

My birth mother Charlotte is in her sixties and in an assisted living facility in Georgia. She had a troubled childhood, and was one of 4 children. When she was 15 she got pregnant, not as a product of rape, but from a consensual relationship with my birth father. Her parents got a divorce, and her mother decided to keep her two sons and give the custody of her two daughters up to the state. Charlotte was placed in foster care, and then into an unwed mothers home where she was forced to give me up for adoption. Her father died soon after that, and from the trauma of being abandoned, losing her boyfriend, her baby, and her father all at once, she had a mental breakdown and was placed in an asylum. To this day she remains a ward of the state. She never married, never had other children, and never lived what I would consider a normal life.

Right after Julie gave me the news, I took a road trip with a girlfriend of mine and we went to see my mother. We spent 4 days with her, taking trips, spending time together, and asking questions. One moment she has the mental capacity of a child, and another moment she seems almost normal. I asked her about my birth father many times during that trip and since, and she insists that she was not raped, and that my birth father was not black. She says he wasn't as white as she was, but that he was not black. In fact, my original birth certificate says he was white, and since my skin is only olive, I am assuming that he was Italian or something.

Imagine, I am 51 years old and I have considered myself black my entire life, only to find out that I am not actually biracial! All the prejudice I endured, the scholarships I received, and the cultural heritage I adopted--it was all a mistake, perpetuated by someone in the adoption agency who rewrote my story and influenced the way I have been perceived by myself and others for five decades.

Finally I know that my son's bright blue eyes come from my mother. Sometimes they are a little glazed and blurred by age, but they reflect the love she feels for me and her hopes for our future. We talk on the phone frequently and I call the nursing home to check on her from time to time. I am so grateful to Julie and SQA for giving me the answers I needed. I also found out that my mother shares my health problems, and I am grateful for the medical information she has provided. Just to be positive that she is indeed my birth mother, I went to Walgreens and bought a DNA test. When the results came back it was 99.9% positive that she is my mother.

The only part of the puzzle that is still missing is my birth father. At first I was excited because she told me his name, but then I realized it is very similar to the name of the doctor who delivered me, so I think she may be confused about his identity. I hope that I will be able to find him some day because I would like to know if I have any siblings. My mother's sister, who is deceased, did have two children, one of whom is my cousin Edward. Edward and I were also reunited, and he is the one who helped me understand Charlotte's childhood and the circumstances that led to her mental state. Even though my search did not turn out anything like I expected, I am still glad I found my mother. For better or worse, she is the woman who gave birth to me, and I am grateful to have her in my life.

(Written by Mica Burton on Tina's behalf)

http://www.reunionstories.com/stories.asp?id=41

Posted: 6/17/2009 1:00:00 AM

My story begins with tragedy. Seven years ago I married the love of my life, Wayne. He dreamed of finding his birth father Ted, who left his mother when he found out she was pregnant. Sometimes in the quiet hours when we were alone he would wonder if he looked like his dad, or if he had any siblings out there. Wayne was raised as an only child and ached for brothers and sisters all throughout his childhood. At every holiday and birthday we talked about the search as a distant dream. We finally decided to hire a professional this year and we joked about spending this Christmas with Wayne's birth father, but we never got the chance to put our plans into motion. My husband was killed in a horrific head-on collision just a few months ago. I was devastated, to say the least, but I decided to pursue his dream as part of my healing process.

Just a month ago I spoke with Search Quest America for the first time. My case was assigned to Julie and she found my husband's birth father in just over a week. Unfortunately, Ted committed suicide in 1990 and I will never have the privilege to meet him. Julie found photographs of him and I was shocked to see that he is the spitting image of Wayne. She also discovered that Wayne had a half-sister, Heidi.

Our first conversation was very emotional. We both wept for lost opportunities and shared our joy at finally finding the answers we had both been seeking. Heidi was 16 when she first learned she had a brother, but she thought his name was Dwayne and was never able to find him, despite repeated efforts.

We made plans for Heidi to visit me in California, and when we met for the first time she shared a remarkable story with me. The day before she got the phone call from Julie, she woke up in the middle of the night from an unusual dream. She saw a tall man with a mustache and goatee. He approached her silently, smiled, and enveloped her in a warm embrace. Heidi startled awake and was perplexed--she had never seen that man in her life.

When she saw Wayne's picture on our mantle the first thing she said was, "Oh my God! That is the man from my dream!" We share our faith in God and believe that we will all be reunited one day. Even though Wayne and Ted never met during this life, we believe that someday they will enjoy their own remarkable reunion.

My only regret is that we waited so long to begin the search. I know Wayne would have been overjoyed to learn about Heidi, and to know that he was the spitting image of his father. Now that I have found Heidi, I won't waste another moment. To others in our shoes, I would say to absolutely search for your lost loved one, and do it now! If they don't want to meet you at least you will know and it gives you closure. Something good will come out of it no matter what.

The most remarkable moment of this whole process happened one afternoon when I opened my mailbox to find a postcard from Heidi. She signed the postcard the same way Wayne used to, saying simply, "Loving you....Heidi." Reading the same words Wayne used to sign brought tears to my eyes. There are so many remarkable similarities between them, and finding Heidi is like having a little piece of Wayne back in my life. I am grateful to Julie and Search Quest America for this gift. I miss Wayne every single day, but at the same time I know that by finding Heidi, I have opened a whole new chapter of my life. Thank you.

(Written by Mica Burton on Libby's behalf)

http://www.reunionstories.com/stories.asp?id=42

Posted: 6/20/2009 1:00:00 AM

"Both of my adopted parents have been deceased for some time, my mother for 38 years and my father for 11 years now. I have no brothers and sisters. I have a very lonely spot in my heart because I don't know anything about my birth family. I feel that I will never be at peace until I find my mother or other members of my birth family. I understand that they might not want to have contact, or might even be deceased today. But I can't be at peace until I know one way or another. Can you help me?"

Darlene first wrote this email to Search Quest America on May 25, 2009. She hoped that she would finally be able to find the answers she has sought her entire life. She was not disappointed. Just three weeks later, when her researcher, Julie first called to introduce herself, her case had already been solved.

"The first time I ever spoke with Julie, she explained that she was my researcher and that even though I was prepared to wait up to six months for my case to be solved, she had already found my birth mother! I was shocked, and so grateful," Darlene said.

Darlene's birth mother Joyce lives in Nebraska. Unfortunately she recently went through a series of strokes and has trouble communicating. "I am just so grateful that I found her before her health failed even more. I'm relieved that she's still alive for me to put my arms around her and tell her that I love her."

Darlene has been blessed to become part of a very large extended family with siblings, aunts and uncles, and over 30 cousins. "My mother's sister was the first person to contact me. We cried together and she told me that the family has thought and prayed about me every day since I was born. They have always wondered what happened to me and prepared themselves for the day I would find them. I didn't have really high expectations going into the search because I know it was possible that my birth mother and her family may not be excited when I showed up all of a sudden. I could not have been more wrong. They have welcomed me with open arms and I am just so pleased with the way the search has turned out. I talk with my brother on the phone almost every day, and even though my sister doesn't want anything to do with me yet, I know she will come around in time and that is enough for me."

Darlene has been telling all of her friends about her positive experience with SQA. "I just had a good feeling about your company from the beginning. There's just something really honest about you all." Honesty and integrity are increasingly hard to come by these days, and Darlene is grateful to have found those qualities in SQA, "I knew I liked your company from the beginning. My expectations were surpassed tenfold!"

(Written by Mica Burton on Darlene's behalf)

http://www.reunionstories.com/stories.asp?id=43

Posted: 6/24/2009 1:00:00 AM

My birth parents Maria and Jewell lived together in Germany in the early fifties while he was in the service. When the time came for him to return to the United States, she stayed in Germany and they never met again. I was born a few months later and adopted by a military family who later returned to the States. Growing up, I always knew I was adopted, but I was unprepared for the phone call I received in 1999 when my birth mother, who still lived in Germany, located me. I traveled to Germany that same year and we were happily reunited. She gave me all the information I could have hoped for, and even took me to the German hall of records where I learned important facts about my birth father. His name was Jewell Stiell and he was born in January of 1928. The hall of records listed his home address while he was in the service, and other information written in German. I decided that day that this man is a part of my past and I want him to be a part of my future. Unfortunately the information we retrieved was limited and we were not sure how accurate it was.

That day, my husband Chuck and I set out on a quest to discover this man's identity and in doing so, to understand my past. It turned out to be a ten-year journey and each time we found another piece of the puzzle we drew one step closer to the truth, but never quite found what we were looking for. At one point Chuck even called the police department in Sacramento, California and asked them to track down the old address. An officer was sent to the home, but the family who lives there now has no information about the previous owners. We pored over old directories, performed internet searches, and wrote letters to several people by the name Jewell Stiell--all to no avail.

Finally, we decided to contact Search Quest America. Our case was assigned to Cindy, SQA researcher, and she has been absolutely fantastic through the whole process. We talked on the phone almost constantly and after just a few months Cindy found the man she believes to be my birth father living only 25 miles away from her home in Washington. She asked me to FedEx photographs of myself, my birth mother, and even the old apartment in Germany where my mother used to live. She called Jewell on the phone prior to visiting him in person. When she saw him for the first time, she could already see a resemblance in our features. At 82 years old, Jewell's reaction was total shock.

"Why couldn't this have happened 50 years ago?" he asked. "I don't remember his woman, but how many Jewell Stills born in January of 1928 would have been in Heidelburg, Germany in 1952?"

Jewell accepts that I am probably his daughter, but he is having trouble figuring out what to do now. "I have several children who are grown now with families of their own. Should I tell them I have another child?" Cindy was wonderful and reassured him that everything will turn out alright. He requested my phone number and asked to keep the pictures I had sent, but so far I have not heard from him.

I agree that this case is probably solved, but I don't feel the emotions I expected to feel when the case was solved. I want to believe that this 10-year quest is finally over, but there is a part of me that still has doubts. I understand that Jewell is 82 years old and that his memory is probably faulty, but I would have felt better if he had remembered my birth mother. Unfortunately she passed away several years ago. We have decided to use the resources at our disposal and perform a DNA test to confirm that he is indeed my father.

I put his picture up on my computer at home and I find myself staring at it from time to time. I think he's the right man, but I have decided to reserve my joy and excitement and relief for the day I get the positive test results back. When that happens, we will meet in person and I will put my arms around him and thank him for giving me life. We will discover the similarities between us and joke about our big noses and maybe I will even get to meet my half-siblings. For today, I'm just grateful to Cindy and Search Quest America for helping bring peace to our family by solving this decades-old mystery.

(Written by Mica Burton on Susan's behalf)

http://www.reunionstories.com/stories.asp?id=44

Posted: 7/1/2009 1:00:00 AM

I always wondered what my birth parents looked like. I was adopted when I was four months old and grew up as only child. I always knew my parents loved me and they were open about my adoption. They always told me that when I grew up, I could find my birth parents if I wanted to. I didn't think it was important and put it off until my early thirties. That's when I decided I deserved to have answers to my life-long questions, but I wasn't looking for a long-term relationship.

First, I went to the adoption agency, and I was told that my birth mother tried to contact me when I was seven years old. Unfortunately, she didn't leave any contact information. I did learn that her name was Alice Ferrell. My adoptive mother remembered that one of my siblings was a beauty queen, and had won the title of Miss Oakland a few years before I was born.

Next, I requested my non-identifying information, which stated that my birth mother was one of 8 siblings and was born in California. Prior to my birth she had four older children, one of whom had mental health issues, which run in the family. I also learned that I was conceived from an affair and that I am biracial, born to a white birth mother and a black birth father.

When I found all this information, I felt like I had more questions than answers. Was I given up for adoption because of my mixed race? Why did my birth mother decide to give me up, but chose to raise my siblings? At that point I knew I needed help. In September of 2008 I contacted Search Quest America. My researcher, Patty Lawrence, was wonderful. She kept me informed every step of the way and she didn't give up when she hit dead ends.

Finally, in May of 2009 I received the phone call I had been waiting for. Patricia had located my birth family. All of the information seemed to fit--my birth mother was one of 8 children, had been born in California, and raised four children, one of whom had mental health issues and another who had been Miss San Pablo. All the pieces fell perfectly into place. Unfortunately, my birth mother passed away in 2004 after a stroke. I was disappointed to learn that she was deceased, but I really had never expected to have a close relationship with her.

The first call I made after I hung up with Patty was to my mother. I told her that the case had been solved, and asked, "Now what do I do?" She warned me to proceed with caution. "Be careful," she said, "they're still strangers."

At first when I met them I had to agree. We finally connected in June of 2009 and even though they are my blood relatives, we were still raised differently and the age difference makes things interesting. I didn't have much in common with my sisters, but I really hit it off with my brother, who has an outgoing, fun-loving personality much like my own. For a first time in my life, I saw a picture of my birth mother. She seems like a sweet woman, and I have come to understand why she gave me up. When I was conceived she was in the middle of a divorce, was unemployed, and had no education or job skills. She was in no position to take care of a newborn and didn't have anyone to help. Later on in her life she also developed mental issues, and I have come to appreciate the sacrifice she made to give me a better life. I know she had other options, and I'm grateful she gave me life.

After all is said and done, I am so grateful to have found them and grateful to Search Quest America for bringing my story full circle. Everyone I talked to was caring and understanding of my needs and my fears, and they made it possible for me to connect to my birth family. What greater gift could I receive? My search has turned out so much better than I expected! My siblings actually want to have a relationship with me. I have several cousins who are my age and I keep in constant contact with my brother. Now that we have finally connected, they aren't strangers anymore, they're friends.

(Written by Mica Burton on Andrea's behalf)

http://www.reunionstories.com/stories.asp?id=46

Posted: 7/4/2009 1:00:00 AM

"I had no idea I was adopted until my mom and dad passed away in an accident twelve years ago. I was shocked to say the least, and in the midst of my sorrow at their passing I found hope in the prospect of finding my biological family. I have been searching for them ever since. As I have hit each dead end along the way I have felt so alone. One thing that sets me apart from most adoptees is that I was born deaf. My parents didn't find out until I was eight months old, but I was put up for adoption at four months. I have always wondered if my birth mother gave me up because of my disability. My friend Windy tries to reassure me that my birth mother couldn't have known, and that she must have had a good reason to put me up for adoption. Windy says it must have been the hardest thing she ever did, and that after holding me in her arms every day for four months, she must have loved me. I want to find her so that I can thank her for giving me a good life. I am told that I have at least three siblings, and I want to meet them as well. Unfortunately, over the last 12 years I have been scammed and duped and ripped off several times. One company charged me thousands of dollars and fed us so much false information that I don't know what to believe anymore. But there was something different about Search Quest America. They were so up-front and frank with us from the very first conversation that Windy and I decided to trust them with our search. This is our story."

Robbie's case was assigned to Search Quest America's CEO researcher and lead investigator, Susan Friel-Williams. Just a few weeks after receiving the case, Susan called Windy and Robbie to tell them the names of Robbie's birth mother and siblings. Unfortunately, contacting them directly was more difficult than anyone expected. Robbie's sister, Claudia plays pool at a well-known hall in California, but when Susan called the pool hall to get a message to her, the owner insisted that they didn't know anyone by that name. Windy and Susan tried over and over again, calling at different times and talking to different people who all denied knowing her.

Next, Susan helped Robbie and Windy write a letter, which they sent to Claudia's address. It was returned unopened. Windy says, "We ran into brick walls right and left. But Susan kept in contact with us, which made it a lot easier to trust her. The whole process was very discouraging for Robbie. He would come to me every day and it broke my heart to have tell him 'no, I haven't heard anything yet.' But Susan reassured us that she wasn't going to give up, and she used creative ways to find more information."

Meanwhile, Claudia was going through a difficult divorce. She grew up without ever knowing that her mother gave a child up for adoption, and every time someone called for her she assumed it was related to the divorce. She still lived in the same town and played pool at the hall on a regular basis, but she had instructed all of her friends to deny knowing her if anyone called. She kept her personal number unlisted and her friends were very loyal. Finally, six months after the initial attempt, the phone number for Claudia's son Jeff became available. Susan called him and convinced him to pass the message on to his mother that she had a brother who wanted to talk to her.

Windy recalls, "Susan called June 27th to tell us that she had spoken to Jeff, who then called Claudia to transmit the message that she had a brother she didn't know about. Wanting to know more, she had Jeff call and give Susan her unlisted telephone number. I called that evening. She and Robbie talked through me. It was like a miracle. Robbie's whole demeanor changed. We were disappointed to learn that Robbie's mom passed away in an ATV accident when Claudia was 14. But at least they have each other, another sister who lives in Holland, and a younger brother living in L.A. He has a big old family now, complete with a past and a history and a connection. He came to me the other day with a goofy grin and signed, 'I have a family now!' I can tell he is so happy. Every morning when Robbie wakes up, he texts Claudia, 'good morning sister' and she always responds, 'good morning brother.' Truly, you have all given us a wonderful gift, and we can't thank you enough! We have been telling all of our friends about your company and we hope you will continue to help others like us for many years to come. I would never go anywhere else!"

(Written by Mica Burton on Windy and Robbie's behalf)

http://www.reunionstories.com/stories.asp?id=47

Posted: 7/8/2009 1:00:00 AM

I am 46 years old, but all my life I have felt like a little girl lost in a wheat field, with the stalks so high you can't find your way out of it. I was 16 when I found out that my step father is not my biological father. It explained so many discrepancies between myself and my siblings, and it explained why I always felt like the black sheep in the family. At the same time, I felt betrayed and abandoned by my father. My mother told me that when I was three months old, she left and hadn't seen him since.

For several years I tried to search for him on my own. I was told he remarried and started a new life, and with only a name and birth date it was like looking for a needle in a haystack. Every time I asked my mother for more information about him, like what he did for a living or where he lived the last time she saw him, she would get very angry and tell me, "Drop it. He's not a nice man." But for better or for worse, he is my father and I need to know where I come from. Several years ago she threatened to disown me if I pursued the search, so when I contacted Search Quest America I did so in secret.

My researcher, Julie Jones, made me feel so comfortable. She has handled many cases like mine and she offered valuable counsel about how to approach the reunion without scaring him away. I was so afraid that he might have passed away by now, that he might not want to know me, or worse, that the things my mother told me might be true.

I expected the search to take several months, and I was overjoyed when Julie called July 3rd to say that she had found my birth father alive and well living in Missouri, and he was anxious to speak with me. Hearing his voice for the first time was like a dream. He told me he had always wondered about me and hoped that one day I would find him. He freely admitted that when I was born he was a heavy drinker and an angry drunk, but he has been completely sober for the last 25 years. He did remarry and have a family, and he is excited to introduce me to my three half-siblings, two brothers and a sister. For the first time in my life I feel like a complete person. I told him, "Dad, it has been a long, lonely road without you." He assured me that I never have to be lonely again, because he won't lose touch with me ever again.

To others in my shoes, I encourage you to never stop searching. There is no guarantee that life will turn out the way you want it to, but sometimes it is even better. I am so happy to have found my father after all these years and I hope that Search Quest America will keep helping other people like me to find the missing pieces in their lives. We plan to get together next month to meet in person, and I look forward to our first daddy-daughter hug. I would not trade that experience for anything in the world!

(Written by Mica Burton on Billy's behalf)

http://www.reunionstories.com/stories.asp?id=48

By Carrie Craft

After our mother died in June 1992, my sisters and I began to do what most families do after a death. We cried, we shared memories, and then we started to go through her things. While going through a secretarial I discovered a Bible that our Mom's brother had given her years ago. I remembered as a child looking at the pages of that Bible, but I didn’t recall seeing what I found in the back of the book. As some Bibles have, there was a place for marriages, births, and a family tree section. I noticed that our father’s name was written over white out, including the date and year. I also noticed under "births" an infant’s birth statistics including a name, Kendra Ann.

Below the name a 1970 penny had been taped securely to the page. Mom used to collect 1970 pennies and give them to mission funds. I suddenly understood the reason for her collection; this child. Upon finding this entry I asked our dad who Kendra was, and if mom was married before. He became flustered and demanded that we put the book away. I did, but not without recording all the information first.

I looked in some registers for a few years, thinking I was looking for a baby that had passed away since Kendra didn’t weigh much at birth. Then in 1995, our dad called us girls home for an emergency meeting. I had a feeling that it was about Kendra. We got to the house and he laid the Bible on the kitchen table and asked us what we knew about the book. I asked if it was about the baby. He then said, “Your sister wants to meet you.” I didn’t know what to feel. We learned that she had found her birth information and called our Uncle, Mom’s brother, who didn’t know anything about the pregnancy. So our Uncle called Dad who confirmed the existence of another child. It seems that before Mom had met our father she had been dating another man. She became pregnant and upon hearing the news of the pregnancy this man left her. She placed the baby for adoption out of fear of what her father and other family members would say. She met our dad 5 months later. According to our Dad, Mom regretted placing her baby, but never wanted to hurt the adoptive family by trying to get her back.

Dad had our new sister's number and that night I called her. I was stunned when she answered the phone as she sounded just like my middle sister. I discovered that her name had been changed to Pam. We talked and found that we had a lot in common, including wedding anniversary; date and year. I had so many mixed emotions I didn’t know what to think or do. I suddenly felt out of place in my own family. I was no longer the oldest. I was no longer the first born of my mother. I questioned everything of my childhood, but I also started to understand so much more. Mom gave many hints and we never caught on. She would sometimes cry for no reason. And if watching something about adoptive reunions she would say, “Adopted children shouldn’t find their birth parents; they were placed for a reason.” Or “Kendra is one of my favorite names,” but not being able to explain why none of us were named Kendra. I called my best friend that night I first found out about Pam, it was probably 1 AM. My friend helped me understand that I was raised as the first born and that is who I am. Dad and I also had a talk before our meeting with Pam. We both had our doubts on meeting her, wondering what Mom would have wanted, wondering what Pam wanted.

We met Pam a few days later. My sisters and I were again caught off guard to see the maternal side of the family evidenced in Pam's looks. We went over photos, stories, and then went to our mother’s grave. That is one of my saddest memories; Pam crouched down over our mom’s tombstone, gently wiping her hands over her name and engraving of an angel. She missed meeting her by 3 years. We all often wonder if Mom had been alive if she would have allowed us to know about her or if the secret would live on.

Our meeting went well and we have a relationship with her to this day. Pam named her daughter Kendra. Pam grew up only 30 minutes from our home and still lives a short distance away with her family; husband, daughter, and son. Pam grew up in a nice family with brothers and an adopted sister. Her sister has since met her birth family, with a different outcome than our meeting. Something that is difficult for her sister to bear.

What made our reunion a success? I really don’t know. It could be luck, or a lack of expectations. I’m just glad to have met Pam and to have another connection to my mother. It does cause me sadness to think that my mother felt she had to hide that part of her life from us. I will never understand her reasons for placing her baby. I will never know if her fears of her father and family were valid. It is not my place to decide as then I would be judging her and I don’t. I only have love for her and for my new sister, Pam.

http://adoption.about.com/cs/reunions/a/My_Reunion_Stry.htm

Posted By: Joline, Churchtown, PA - 7/6/2009

Saturday June 27th, we realized that our wonderful dog Lucy was nowhere to be found. We searched everywhere, put up lost dog signs, called the police, animal shelters, rescue organizations and had no luck in return. Nearly a week had gone by and we still heard nothing and I began to believe that my sweet 9 year old best friend was gone for good. Then I received a call from the vet's office where I use to work nearly 4 hours from home. Someone had picked up Lucy and took her to a vet. When the vet scanned her, the HomeAgain Chip came up and my information was outdated, but I placed the vet as my emergency contact and they received the call. The vet's office called me to let me know she was found and we traveled about an hour to pick her up. I was in tears when I saw her sweet face again. Thank you HomeAgain for bringing Lucy home to us. Without the chip we would have never seen her again!

http://www.bringpetshome.org/lost-pets/reunion-stories.aspx?id=163

Posted By: Elllen, Nashville, TN - 7/7/2009

It was a warm Friday night around 10:00 p.m. we had just let our little Susie out to go to the bathroom, before retiring.

It was then that the fireworks started. Susie is only 9 months old and was scared to death and started running, her being black she blended into the night. We searched all night calling and riding around our neighborhood in the car calling her name. Around daylight on Saturday a.m. we continued to search, but NO Susie. I called the "HomeAgain" at 8:00 am on Saturday morning to report her lost. When we had Susie spayed about a month ago, we had the microchip put in. We talked about not spending the extra money now but decided it was worth it.

At 10:30 a.m. Saturday morning, we got a call from HomeAgain saying they had a lady on line that had Susie. We jumped for JOY. She was 3 blocks away and boy we could not get there fast enough. To make a long story short, we have never regretted a moment spending the extra money to have Susie w/ the microchip. If we had not had that we might have never found her. She did have her regular tag from the Vet, but it was a holiday weekend and the Vet was closed as well as the humane society. It would have been Monday before we could have contacted anyone to report her missing.

http://www.bringpetshome.org/lost-pets/reunion-stories.aspx?id=164

Internet was key to dead-locked search for birthmother

Hello. My name is Antonia, and on June 14, 1968, at 10:56 in the morning, I wasborn at West Seattle General Hospital in Seattle, Washington. To anunsuspecting baby, I'm sure everything seemed quite normal. All of the pain,both physical and emotional, felt by my birthmother at that moment wascompletely unnoticed by me. How could I have known that I wouldn't be goinghome with her? I had barely taken my first breath....

Almost ten years later, my mother sat my younger brother and me down totell us that we were adopted. "Adopted?...What's that?" She calmly did her bestto explain. "Oh, O.K." My brother and I then proceeded to go outside andtell all of our friends that we were adopted, which at the time seemed pretty coolbecause no one else had ever claimed that they were. No one believed usthough, so we made bets. It was all a game to us. It didn't stay that wayfor me.

A few years later, my rebellion began. It was your normal teenagerebellion, but I used my adoption against my mother quite a lot. I accusedher of adopting me "just so she could have a maid" or so that "she could have the'perfect' family: one boy, one girl." I firmly believed that since she was a doctor's wife who didn't work, she felt she HAD to have two children to look 'normal' and that was the only reason she wanted us. The more we grew apart, the more Iwanted to find my birthmother. It wasn't that I wanted a replacement mother, itwas that I wanted to know who I was like, because I certainly wasn't like anyoneI knew!

I asked questions and found out that my 'real' (that's the word I alwaysused for my birthfamily) last name was Larson and that my birthmother was 16at the time of my birth. I was told my nationalities: 3/4 Swedish and 1/4Norwegian, with a hint of Indian. Breast cancer had claimed the life of oneof my birthgrandmothers, they said. And, my birthparents were from the midwestsomewhere. Not much information, but I knew that since I had a last name, I'dbe able to find her...some day.

When I was 24 and newly married, I began searching seriously. I startedby calling various state departments, who always said to call someone else. So,I'd call the next person, and so on. I finally was referred to the King CountySuperior Court Adoption Services (which has jurisdiction over Seattle). They told me that they could supply me with "non-identifying information" about my birthmother.

They sent the request form, and I filled it out and sent it back in with my $8money order. I received my information within a couple of weeks. Unfortunately, theonly new information it provided was that my birthmother was Lutheran and wanted togo to beauty school after high school. They also said I was part German, aswell as being Scandinavian and Indian. It also gave my birthmother's height, weight,hair and eye colors.

I pursued two other avenues to obtain more leads--the attorney's office that handled my adoption, and the private medical records archive which took over the files of the now defunct West Seattle General Hospital. Getting nowhere, I stopped my search. Even though I was discouraged, I knew that I'd find her someday.

I'm now 28, and I'm recently married my second husband. In February, 1996, I moved from Oregon to New Mexico where he's stationed in the Air Force. During this move, I lost the small amount of "non-identifying information" about my birthmother that I'd sent away for.

I didn't continue to work after my move to New Mexico, and found myself sitting around the house in a new town with nothing to do. After a few months, I decided I needed my non-identifying information again. After all, that was the only physical paperwork that said anything about who I 'really' was! I went through the same procedure as before,but I got a surprise this time: My birthparents' first names!!!!!!!!

I sat there in total disbelief with tears in my eyes. Was this a mistake? Why would theyprovide first names? Especially when I had put my birthmother's last name onthe request form. Couldn't they see that I could find her now? "Oh well," I thought, "it was their problem, not mine."

That day I started going to the library. I found some books on how to find people and started copying example letters from them. Then I'd go home and write my own. I got nowhere and I started getting frustrated. One of the books said you might be able to get more information by calling someone and getting a rapport going.

So, I called the lady who provided my non-identifying information. I thanked her for the information and began some small talk. She seemed nice enough. So, I asked if she still had my information. Sure did. Was there any way she could give me my birthmother's middle name? Apparently there was, and she gave it to me. I then proceeded to get her exact date of birth. I tried for her home state, but was quickly told that that was considered identifying information. No problem! I now had her full name and date of birth: I'd HAVE to be able to find her quickly now!

I ended up back at the library looking through phone books. I called state licensing boards to see if anyone with her name had a beautician's license. Since I thought she was from the midwest, I requested driver's records from all the midwest state departments of motor vehicles that only needed the person's full name and date of birth. No record. I even wrote to the Lutheran Church Archives--they wrote back saying they needed to know the exact church she went to. I was stuck again, and I had her full name...How could this be?!?!?

My husband's a wonderful man. I have to say this to you before I go anyfurther. If it weren't for him, I'd still be stuck. I'll try to explain.

A few months back we had both watched an edition of the television show "48 Hours" which told the story of a woman who was on the Internet, and through anonymous help, found her birthmother. At the time, all I could think was "Why can't that be me?" Deep down, I really, really wanted a computer, but knew it was too much to ask for at that time. After getting nowhere with my search, even with a name and DOB, I was really down.

My husband and I had been toying with the idea of getting a computer, butalways said 'later'. Well, I was really starting to bug him...a lot. I don'tremember exactly what happened, but one night at about midnight, my husbandgot home from work and I finally convinced him. By that time I was running my ownhome-based mail order business and a computer would help with that in addition to my search. At a little after midnight, we went to Wal-Mart and bought mycomputer. The next day I got on the Internet.

After spending a few days trying to find adoption search sites, I finally keyed into a site with a lot of links. I posted my information on all of the bulletin boards and registries I could find. I finally ended up on the AIML (Adoptee's Internet Mailing List). I believe I posted my story a day later. I wrote in my post that now that I had my birthmother's full name and date of birth, I thought it would be easy to find her, but it wasn't.

My distress was heard by a wonderful lady who is a private investigator. She has access to a nationwide database that will pull up a list of people with the first name and DOB you enter. She 'donated' the list to me the same day I posted my information. There were 63 people on that list. I ruled out all that had the wrong middle initial. That brought the list down to eight. Then I searched for phone numbers. I found four. I was pretty scared that she would be one of the ones I couldn't find a number for. But, thatnight, I swallowed my fear and decided to start calling.

The first person I chose to call lived in Minnesota: one of the fewpossibilities on the list in a midwestern state. With the butterfliesa-fluttering, I dialed. She answered. I told her I was looking for a woman named so-and-so who was born on such-and-such a date. She said the maiden name I mentioned was not hers. Talk about a sinking feeling--none of the other women were in the midwest! "OK, chin up," I told myself, "she could have moved. " I decided to not even guess at which one of the remaining three she might be.

I dialed the next number. It was for a woman in Montana. A young man answered. He said the woman was out. I told him this was going to sound real strange, but that I was looking for so-and-so whose maiden name was Larson. He confirmed her maiden name was Larson. I asked if her middle name was such-and-such: yes. I asked if shewas 44: Yeah, 44 or 45. (Oh boy, this could be her!!!!!) I asked when shemight be back in. He said in about 45 minutes. I told him I knew she probablywouldn't want to call me back as I was a stranger AND long distance, but gavehim my name and number anyway.

I hung up, ran in the bedroom and woke my husband up telling him that I may have found her! He didn't do or say much, he was so tired. Well, I had time to waste, so I got on the Internet and posted a message to AIML asking for help on what to say to her when I called back. I didn't want to scare her away if it was her. I didn't get a response back from the list (I had forgotten that it takes longer than 45 minutes for a message to post.) But, I played around on the computer for the full 45 minutes anyway. Then I decided I'd better call again.

By then, my husband was up and about waiting to see what would happen. I disconnected from the Internet. Within five seconds the phone rang. Itcouldn't be her...she wouldn't call a stranger long distance, would she? I answered. She said, "Hello. This is ___ and I'm returning your call."I said, "Hi. My name is Antonia Lauer, and I know this is going to sound real strange,but I'm looking for ______ born ______ and, well, I don't really know what to say,so I'll just tell you what information I have on her."

Before I could say anything else, she asked, "Are you looking for your mother?"I swear it didn't click that it could be her; otherwise, I would have dropped the phone right then and there. So, I just said, "Yes." Her voice broke when she said, "It's me!"I looked at my husband as the tears started flowing and said, "Oh my God, it's her!!!!!"

We spent the next couple of minutes confirming that, yes, we were eachother's birthdaughter and birthmother. The next two hours were spent crying,laughing, asking and answering questions, and beginning to plan our reunion. My husband and I were already going to California in five days, so her husbandoffered to fly us from California to Montana on the day we already had scheduledto end the vacation. Of course, we accepted!!!

On October 4, 1996, my husband and I landed in Great Falls, Montana. From the moment we took off from the short stop fifteen minutes prior to thatmoment, my heart was racing and it took all the strength I had not to sob thewhole way. I was nervous. REAL nervous. I knew that my birth aunt, uncle,grandmother, mother, 1/2 brother, and three cousins (plus in-laws) would beinside the terminal waiting for me. What would they think of me? Did I look like any ofthem? Would there be an instant connection? I'm a shy person when I'm around newpeople: Would I just stand there like an idiot not saying anything? I just wantedto sit there and cry while everyone else got off of the plane. At least, that's whatI wanted to do until the plane came to a stop. We ended up being two of thefirst people off. No one was allowed to greet passengers at the ramp, so there was aways to walk before seeing anyone.

Then I saw her. We didn't even have to ask. We walked right into each other's arms and cried, and cried, and cried. I could see the other's behind her, waiting, but this was my 'mom' and I was going to cry on her shoulder for as long as I wanted to. She seemed to understand and feel the same way. When we finally pulled apart, we just looked at each other. Yes, this is who I look like. Finally, I look like someone!!!Everyone else, I noticed, was crying with us. It was such a wonderful moment!

I found out that breast cancer does NOT run in the family. As a matter offact, cancer in any form doesn't exist in the Larson family. I also foundout that my migraines come from my birthmother, as does my dry skin, short waist, pugnose, short toes, and a variety of other traits. She also informed me thatEnglish ran in the family several generations back, but she doesn't even considerherself having any in her because it was so far back. Throughout the day, severalpeople commented on how some of our actions were so much alike!

Later that night, after a day filled with pictures, presents, jokes, food anddrinks, and just plain fun, we went back to the airport to pick up my full brother! He istwo years younger than me (my birthparents created him and married two yearsafter I was born. Two years after that, they were divorced). It was almost asexciting to meet him as it was to meet my birthmother. A brother: Wow!!! A'real' brother!!! We saw little things in common, like how we shake a footor leg while we're just sitting there watching TV. Little things like that. Physically,there's not much in common. Our hair color, the crease between our nose andcheek when we smile, and our height.

I was accepted by everyone. Everyone was accepted by me. Thatinstant connection wasn't there, though. It wasn't anything they did ordidn't do. It was just me. After I got home, I realized that these people are mybirth-relatives, but they're also strangers. Up until now, I'd seen storieson TV about people hitting if off from the start and feeling as if they'd knowneach other forever. I had always hoped that would happen to me. But, I didn't feel that.

These were people I'd have to get to know. And we're working on that. Mybirthmother and I talk once a week. She's having the same exact feelings that Iam. We're also seeing that the more we talk, the easier it's getting. I understand now that my shyness comes from her. Two shy people trying to get to know each other is not easy. But, we're doing it. And we're doing it because we both want to do it.

Our reunion has helped me in at least two very positive ways: 1) I no longer have the confusion and curiosity about who I am. My questions havebeen and are getting answered now. I no longer have to guess about where Icame from. And 2) with my curiosity gone, I no longer have to second-guessmy adoptive family. In my case, they ARE my mom and dad, brother and brother(my older brother is not adopted, but from my dad's first marriage), aunts anduncles, cousins, grandparents, nephew, etc. They're the family I've alwaysknown and always will know. They raised me, nurtured me, taught me, laughedwith me, cried with me, and supported me through the good and the bad. I feelcloser to them now more than I ever have.

It may sound as if I'm disappointed with my reunion. I'm not. I did,however, let myself build up many expectations that were too high to be met. Ifthere's one thing I would say to all people searching, no matter whothey are, or what part of the triad they represent, it would be:

PLEASE DON'T BUILD UP EXPECTATIONS. ALL THINGS, GOOD AND BAD,HAPPEN FOR A REASON. LET THEM HAPPEN THE WAY THEY ARE MEANTTO HAPPEN AND ANY DISAPPOINTMENT FELT WILL BE SO MUCH LESS.

I'm glad I searched. I'm even more glad I found! And in fact, I'm evenmore glad I was adopted, because now I have two wonderful families that I cancall my own! Good luck to all of you searching and finding

--Love, Antonia

http://www.adopting.org/uni/frame.php?url=http://www.yourfamily.com/stories1.shtml

by DUNCAN ROBERTSON
Last updated at 09:33 27 October 2007

Identical twin sisters who were separated at birth have been reunited after 35 years.

But more incredibly, Paula Bernstein and Elyse Schein were astonished to discover they had been part of a bizarre social experiment.

Researchers had kept them apart with different adoptive families to investigate theories over 'nature and nurture'.

Telling their amazing story for the first time, the twins, who were born in New York, said they might have remained oblivious if Elyse, who had been living in Paris, had not decided to look for her birth mother.

She was told that the mother was not interested in meeting her, but was then informed she had an identical twin called Paula.

After finally meeting three years ago in a cafe the pair talked long into the evening. In a victory for those who are on the side of nature, the two women found they had a host of things in common.

They discovered they had led similar lives, both editing their school newspapers, studying film at university and having been brought up by loving families.

The women, now writers living in Brooklyn, have decided to write an account of their lives.

In their memoir, called Identical Strangers, they have tried to uncover the truth about the study.

'Imagine a slightly different version of you walks across the room, looks you in the eye and says "hello" in your voice,' they write in the book.

'Looking at this person, you are able to gaze into your own eyes and see yourself from the outside. This identical individual has the exact same DNA and is essentially your clone. We don't have to imagine.'

The twins tracked down and confronted the scientists behind the study, including Peter

Neubauer, a child psychiatrist. They allege he showed no remorse and offered no apology.

The twins found that he was willingly aided by the Louise Wise adoption agency that handled both their adoptions.

A year after the study ended, in 1980, the State of New York issued guidelines stopping the separating of identical twins by adoption. Perhaps aware that his research would be criticised, Mr Neubauer reportedly locked the study in a university archive not to be opened until 2066.

Unsurprisingly, the sisters say they are of one mind with regards to the nature versus nurture debate: they both believe that biology is the most important factor.
Social workers eventually managed to reunite the pair.

Their emotional meeting was one thing. But then, following further inquiries, the pair discovered they had been part of research conducted by psychologists - thought to be the only study of its kind on twins separated from infancy.

The twins told yesterday how the experiment was so secret that not even their adoptive parents were told the full truth.

They were told only that the children were part of an ongoing study.

Paula said: 'They neglected to tell them [the adoptive parents] the key element of the study, which is that it was about child development among twins raised in different homes. Nature intended for us to be raised together, so I think it was a crime we were separated.'

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-490056/The-amazing-reunion-guinea-pig-twins-split-birth-35-years-ago.html