I started using Myspace around 3 years ago and didn't really expect to make as many good friends as I did, especially one friend who is now much much more.
One evening when I was logged on, a chat request came through from a very cute looking guy and we started talking. At first, I thought nothing of it as I was involved with another guy and I was hoping to meet him.
Anyway, I had a great time with this guy who was from Africa and we chatted most evenings on msn. I knew he felt something more than friends and I did think maybe I could feel something for him too as we were becoming very close. We had a few lovely conversations on the phone too, but it was too expensive for me and him. I did wish we could take our relationship to another level but the distance and lack of money to travel made it all seem hopeless.
During that period, I had to work long hours and I didnt get to go online as much and we lost touch even though I still very much liked him and cared deeply about him. One evening about 6 months later he informed me that we wouldnt be able to chat anymore because he had found a girl and they had been chatting for some months. I was very upset but I wished him well. I never forgot him and would always ask how it was going with her if we were both online.
Then facebook came along and I spent more time on that than myspace. He requested me on there and about a year later, we start communicating again. The girl had found another boyfriend, but by then, I also had a boyfriend!
I don't remember exactly when we got so close again, but it was when my boyfriend proposed to me that I suddenly realised that I couldnt marry anyone due to my feelings for M. I had to call him and tell him. He said how jealous he had been when he saw my relationship status, he said he still loved me and that he wanted us to meet to see if there would ever be any way that we could be together.
This was a month ago. I am torn between him and my boyfriend of a year. M has a great job there and is ready to settle down and start a family. I am not happy where I am or with my boyfriend. I love M even though we have never met. Our phone bills are huge. I have to fight everyday not to just pick up the phone and call him. An hour on the phone is so expensive and anything less, its impossible to hang up. He calls me when he cant stand it any longer. We sms many times a day. I'm willing to take a chance on him even though we have never met. My friends think I'm crazy.

During The years 1978 to 1995 I was very keen on marrying my nextdoor neighbour Sandra Hennessy while I was living on Australias' Gold Coast . In the year 1995 I moved to Ballarat Victoria because my home was being eaten away by termites .......... In the year 2007 while doing volentary work at RSPCA of Ballarat I was well and truly smitten by Elli Schauble from South West Germany who is a Sandra Hennessy look alike . .......... Because of Australias' imigration laws she had to return to The Fatherland in April 2007 ........ If she wants to live in Australia , she is welcome to marry me .......... Here two photos of her found on MySpace

During the years 1978 to 1995 I was keen on marrying my nextdoor neighbour Sandra Hennessy on Australias' Gold Coast . In the year 1995 I moved to Ballarat Victoria , because my house was being eaten by termites ........... In Febuary and March while doing volentary work I was well and truly smitten by a Sandra Henessy look alike named Elli Schauble from Grenzach - Wyhlen in South West Germany ........ If she wants to live in Australia she is welcome to marry me .......... And if I become a rich and famous comedy writer / comedian , she will be the only woman who I will allow to marry me ......... as long she doesn't bash me up for telling Holocaust jokes and my four neices don't dissaprove .

I've been writing you so many letters before though I know you won't even read them. I guess I would never be tired to do so because you are not here to tell you what I've been keeping in all this time...

You know, I've been so afraid of what you might have thought on me after that kiss a year ago. What I mean is I was so worried you might have thought me cheap or not descent for just letting you kiss me that way... I didn't know that a Vietnamese man could kiss a woman when he likes her... And the woman would respond if she feels the same way, too. A man here in the Philippines could not just kiss a woman unless she is already his girlfriend. So I guess now you know the reason why I ran away form you after you have granted me that kiss I would never ever forget. I would never forget it not because it was my first but because I already loved you when you did that to me... It may sound funny but it's true. But do you know what had hurt me more? It was when you said you were not certain of what you really feel for me. Yes, I understand that we didn't have much time to get to know each other better so you could say that...

I thought it was just a simple school girl crush which led me to do such a crazy thing as asking a friend to get your cell phone number. You are a professor; I am just a student... You are a Vietnamese and I am just a Filipino... that stopped me to be known by you. I thought you would never befriend me if you find me not pleasing in appearance. But eventually you didn't just teach me how to become a "better me" but you also taught me how to fall for you... how to love you... The moment you kissed me was when I had imagined what my life would be with you after two or three year’s time... I know I may not be that woman you were dreaming of before to marry but that was what I felt... Those very minutes when your lips were kissing mine, I felt so safe yet so confused of what people might say about me. If only I could turn back time I would've embraced you so tight and told you how much you mean to me...

A year has passed but still I haven't forgotten you. I didn't know Ate Huyen was working for my fate all along. So now you learned the other half of the truth...

The other half is... since you've been away, I've always thought of how I could make you proud of me. When you asked me if there were changes in me, I answered yes but you just don't how much I have changed... I wouldn't become who I am now because of you. But I was just frightened to tell you because when you learn that I am already doing great, you might think I won't need your encouragements... and that would make me might lose you again... I might lose our only communication... that you won't need to guide me anymore... I know my achievements are only a small potion of what you have accomplished... but all of those little achievements are because of you... I become more positive, confident and enthusiastic but I was just afraid to tell you so... I guess that is because I still see my self so small to deserve your love...

Now you know within that one long year, never did I forget you... you were always in my thoughts and in my heart... I am sorry if I did tell you this but I think by now I am following my heart... Don't worry about me... I know I can't have you or even your heart but always remember, no matter where you maybe... a heart in this corner of the earth where I am standing would honestly love you so deeply... and that heart is mine...

Yes, you are that "star" I have mentioned on my status message when I got myself online weeks ago... You are that very "star" which I think could never be mine... A "star" that I think would never shine its brightest to someone like me...

I am glad you have talked to me again. I would like to hear your sweet voice again but please understand that I am still so shy... I know that would not make any sense to you for I don't even see you... But you know I believe love doesn't require eyes to see or even ears to hear because even if I don't see you or I can't even talk to you, I know deep within me... I love you! Mahal kita Mr. Nghi! Now that you know the truth I guess I should start to learn how to forget you though I don't even know if I can...

Always take good care of yourself for I don't know what on earth I would do if something happened to you...

I missed you so much and I love you... though I don't know if you feel it for me, too.


TAM_Mia Ayala :(
Originally written on: November 9, 2008
Monday 2: 00 pm

Posted by Tom McFeely

Wednesday, September 30, 2009 12:46 PM

At his blog Journeys in Alterity, Kyle Cupp has posted this Eulogy to Vivian Marie Cupp. It’s a tribute to his infant daughter who died Sept. 24 only 15 hours after she was born, due to the congenital disorder of anencephaly that was diagnosed while she was in the womb.

The grieving father’s eulogy is a true love story, one that communicates how precious is the gift of every human life and every moment of each life no matter how short or long. And it’s a pro-life love story that serves as a testament on behalf of Kyle and his wife Genece’s decision to welcome Vivian into this world with all the love in their hearts, despite knowing that their daughter was fated to die so soon after her birth.

Love has no time constraints,” Kyle writes. “That statement captures why we yearned with all our hearts to meet our daughter and why we are so very grateful for the heavenly fifteen hours of life with which she and we were graced.”

Kyle continues, “The common response to anencephaly is a procedure we wouldn’t have considered, and I think Genece would have slugged anyone who suggested it. Our reason for not taking that route, for instead choosing to experience the months of heartbreak and brokenness was very simple: love has no time constraints. A few minutes, a few hours, a few days, no time but that lived in the womb? We would take what we were given. Love has no time constraints.”

Her father’s eulogy to Vivian — whose name literally means “full of life” — is a profound and heart-wrenching meditation about the power of love to transcend death, no matter what the circumstances. It concludes this way:

My wife and I are broken and will remain broken, but our hearts are, we hope, full of love, and we will hope and strive to keep our faith alive. Daily we will think of Vivian. Daily we will ask her to pray for us and to intercede for us. Our love for her and her love for us was not constrained by time, nor is it now, nor will it ever be. Our love knows no time constraints. Indeed, our love knows eternity, and because our love knows eternity, our love overcomes death.



http://www.ncregister.com/daily/a_pro-life_love_story/

Balazs, with whom I’ve set up an interview after exchanging a few e-mails, tells a strange - almost unbelievable story. Perhaps if I did not see in his eyes and even motions that he is relieving the past, or feel in his voice the disappointment of a lover jaded, even I would not believe that all this had happened. He admits that I might judge him or laugh at him, but decides to share his secret. He is not revealing himself for the sake of attention, rather he would hope that others learn from his experience and donut fall into an emotional trap of falling madly in love with a woman who does not exist.

Balazs, you never actually met Helga, never touched her or heard her voice. Tell me, was it really love? Are you certain?

Believe me, I've experienced such deep feelings that I've not felt since my teen years. She moved into my life and everything changed. She turned my customary existence upside down. Once again I began to care about myself, my desire for life returned and began going to the gym, went to discos and lost about 10 kg. I devoured her messages, woke at the crack of dawn each day to have time to respond. I received over one hundred letters and I wrote her twice that many. Emotionally I was preparing for the personal meeting. Our relationship was passionate, we cared about each other in every way – don't laugh, we even made love several times through e-mail.

How did your relationship begin and how long did it last?

Our correspondence began with the customary getting to know each other, but then became more intimate and intense. I felt that I became a part of her life, I was familiar with the slightest changes of her mood; there was no topic we had not discussed to the smallest detail. There was true love between us both - or at least, like a fool I thought so. Today I realize that I was merely the victim of somebody's fantasy.

What was it that first made you suspicious?

There was a mysterious message on my recorder that made me think, and then the pictures Helga sent of herself also posed some questions in my mind. They seemed posed and nothing could be depicted of the surroundings. She was beautiful on them, but she did not strike me as a sweet girl, an amateur in front of the camera. The pictures suggested quite a different mood. There was something about the Love Story column I read in "Internet Kalauz" which made me realize that I must investigate what is behind my suspicions.

That is when you began to check around? How did you do it exactly?

Using the little information I had of the girl I've tried several search engines, then by using her picture. Initially, I've found nothing but then to my great surprise I've found a web page where Helga smiled back at me – only under a different name. Like a man possessed I began to look through all the details of the web page. It contained intimate photos of a model named Claudia, but provided no meaningful information about her. I've tried to establish contact with her by the e-mail address provided on the page – but it was not successful.

This was proof to you that your correspondence partner was lying to you. What happened after this?

In a somewhat mysterious letter I've let her know that I've found Claudia. This, of course, shook our relationship significantly. After some storms we've survived, we decided to continue – basically, because I could not face being without her. I loved Helga and the feeling I had thinking she was mine.

I would think your suspicions did not vanish. Didn't you try to find certainty in some way?

Yes, of course. In fact, I was somewhat obsessed. Under a new name I've opened a mail box and placed an ad in the personals. Just as I've expected, it was not long before my ‘sweetheart’ showed up on the ‘hook’. There were several letters that I've recognized by the style to be my Helga's, although they were written under the names of several different girls. I was beginning to comprehend that I was dealing with a many faced, habitual liar who was able to convince me of her lies. Emotionally she had me, I was in pieces. I was not her only victim – there were 5 names that I knew of concretely, under which she advertised, corresponded, lied and cheated without any inhibition.

How would you characterize her? How do you envision someone who penned letters that had such an impact on you?

There is a great possibility that the individual is a Hungarian male, with a rich and vivid imagination. Her letters are proof of that. She was able to represent herself as several characters without flaw in the story line. To add some color to our relationship, she's invented trips she'd go on, for instance, one time to Hamburg saying she would not be able to write. A few days later she'd contact me as if she were her girlfriend Kriszti, saying she is watering the plants and feeding the parrot at Helga's house during her absence. She'd made a pass at me and I was game to flirt with her. When Helga returned, she made me feel guilty for being unfaithful to her. She had the uncanny ability to pass off her inventions as reality.

What do you think motivated her?

I've thought about that myself, but I don't have an answer. Maybe it was just sport, although after all that happened between us I find that hard to believe.

Looking back, do you know what kind of mistakes you've made during the relationship?

I should not have taken so seriously anyone with a hotmail address. I realize now that these free servers allow anyone to open several accounts under different names and can create as many identities as the imagination will allow – all without any consequence.

I think there is something else you need to tell us in order to complete your story. Why did you yourself, have to hide behind a hotmail address when you have a paid subscription that provides you with a legitimate address?

I can't throw stones at anyone since I was no different from the one that fooled me in this way. I've long fantasized about two women having an intimate relationship, and I've placed an ad as Klara, a lesbian girl. This is how I've first got in touch with Helga. What is truly bizarre that during this sensuous acquaintance my male side became dominant and and I fell passionately in love with Helga. Helga who does not exist and the pictures of her really show a mysterious model named Claudia and whose letters were potentially written by a maniac, a stranger who thought of this as entertainment.

Why did you want to go public with your story?

I was crazy and blind and there will be those who'll judge me and not understand how I could get to this level. I think I've learned from the events and for this reason I thought perhaps telling it will be helpful to others. Primarily I would like to caution those who like me, naively throw themselves into the social life of the world wide web assuming that with the anonymity it provides - nothing is forbidden. That is not so, it is never acceptable to play with the emotions of others, under any circumstances.

http://www.cyberlove101.com/story2.htm

My nick is Frank, but I am a female past 30. I too had a question from an unfamiliar chatter “male/female?” She too was a female and the first time we spoke with each other was on an English chat line. The topic was, why are there so few women on line? Later we've discovered that we are in the same line of work, she too is working at a software development company only she works from English to German and I from English to Hungarian.

The German language provided another common element between us since in our family background is German but at home it was only with my Grandmother that I ‘had’ to converse in German and Hungarian with the rest of the family. We've shortly switched the conversation from English to German although my grammar is atrocious – she got a kick out of my mistakes – but the use of the language reached layers within me that have not been visited since my childhood.

Later weave discovered that she lives in Vienna and I in Budapest. This meant that we were not terribly far from each other in the physical realm. We spoke everyday then and do still. There was so much kindness and gentleness in Gerda that each day when we spoke for a half an hour to an hour, I always felt refreshed, recharged. I could not believe that one could have such good friend. My boyfriend often mentioned that he has a much better time with me after I've talked to Gerda.

Approximately a year ago Gerda invited me to go for a shopping trip to Vienna. She offered me the opportunity to stay at her home, but asked that I do not bring my boyfriend because she would like to spend the week-end shopping for “girl stuff” and having a man around we could not talk to our heart's content.

She was exactly as she described herself, tall, lean, blond and smiling. We laughed a lot, shopped for especially lingerie, ate and drank wonderful things. In the evening something had happened that I never thought of before nor anticipated now During a conversation she suddenly kissed me fully on the mouth and I returned the kiss wholeheartedly. Somehow, almost with unpronounced naturality our intimate emotional relationship had turned physical. Humans are a strange breed, body and soul sometime intermingle. The mutual affection we had for each other also worked for us in bed.

Gerda had always preferred strictly women and now she was in love with me. I love her also, but at the same time feel somewhat schizophrenic. I don't feel as though I were a lesbian or bisexual in the least bit. Other women don't interest me, nor do I look at attractive women any differently than I had before. My relationship with my boyfriend is unchanged, we still understand and love each other as before, although he doesn't know our secret.

Anyway, I did not become a lesbian, but when I cross the border at Hegyeshalom – I've visited Gerda several times since – I transform completely. I think only in German, think only of Gerda and I can hardly wait to feel her embrace. Returning home it is the same thing only in reverse. After hearing the border guard's Hungarian greeting I only think of my boyfriend and my family. This changes only when our e-mails with Gerda become increasingly passionate. Then I know it is time for me to visit Vienna.

The net is dangerous territory. This should be engraved at the factory on every monitor. Yet, I am still happy.

With affection,
Frank (who is really Judy)

http://www.cyberlove101.com/story28.htm

I should probably start with the fact that as with many others, my life has changed entirely with the Internet, as probably I have also changed. Until I tried it myself, I could not understand what could be so good that my friend was willing to spend hours in front of (or is it behind) the green monitor screen, and then I logged on. At that time it was somewhat unusual that a female wondered into a chat room so I received a warm welcome and quickly became the favorite of the channel. When I was able to log on once a week they were waiting for me, were glad to have me there and helped with everything. It was wonderful, a great change for me. All my life I've been a somewhat introverted person and unless someone talked to me I did not initiate conversations. It was this that changed entirely! On the Internet you do not have a face nor does anyone else and you are free to address any topics with anyone, you can argue, dream, shed your prejudices and talk about anything you want to – it is an entirely free arena! I must admit that in the beginning I've gone overboard a bit and my virtual friends and relationships became more important than my immediate surroundings – but what can I do? It was more interesting.

This is where the problems began. My initial account was through my then friend and he began to get jealous when in a short time I became more popular than he, who's been doing this sort of thing for years. Then of course there were other things, I mean another person, who's been in the chat room from the first time and helped. We talked a lot and I felt that we were getting closer to each other all the time. I sensed that this virtual someone whom I've never seen or talked with live, is beginning to be more important then my friend. Now I know that this was merely the ‘last straw’ that allowed me to recognize that my present relationship would never be a real love and that we should probably let each other go. I was able to ‘terminate’ that relationship and then I did not care that the other party was not able to accept it, didn't understand it and didn't want it, all I was interested in that it'd be over and soon. My (ex-boyfriend knew about my virtual friend and it was especially difficult for him for that reason because it is difficult to win against a nickname.

Although he is Hungarian, my virtual friend lived in a neighboring country, but the 350 km distance was not a problem. We've exchanged photos, dreamed, missed each other and eventually confessed our love to each other. It was fantastic. If someone else told me this story I would not have believed that such thing is possible. At that time nothing mattered, not the distance not the lack of personal contact, nor what the person looks like in real life. I thought I could overcome my prejudices. Now I know that I can't.

The story is not so simple, however, there came another virtual ‘relationship’ which began differently from the first. The first time we talked I hated him, after the second I thought he was interesting and after the third I fell in love J We exchanged real letters on paper, and that is a lot more personal than staring at the uniform keys of the PC. We exchanged photos and both of us were bowled over by the other. The dream boat that I want!! He wrote poetry, I liked his thoughts, I liked his soul, I liked him inside and out. What else do you need? BUT there was the “1st” virtual friend with whom the meeting date was drawing near.

We were to meet at a larger Internet gathering. I was anxious and at the same time feared it. Even in the last minute I thought it would be best not to go, but my curiosity got the best of me. We didn't agree to anything, we would recognize each other. This did not happen at first, when I first saw him, I debated that I should go home instead, or something like that, but realized that it would not be fair. We finally met in person …. and .. . I didn't like anything about him. I didn't like his appearance, not even a little, or his gestures, nothing! It is pretty difficult to overcome one's prejudices in a situation like this. I've had strange feelings about it. In a virtual setting the whole thing seems covered over with pink, but I couldn't be neutral about him, I loved him, up until now, that is.

By evening things loosened a bit, and we looked as though we were a little more then friends, but the evening passed and we headed in opposite directions. The virtual will remain. I was so mixed up, didn't know what I should fee, whether there was any reason to feel anything. Retreat, the IRC again, e-mail and there were a couple of calls…..

About a week later my “2nd” virtual friend visited me and with him everything was perfect. I liked him in all his reality the only problem was that actually neither one of us was available. (As we later agreed, Anything could have happened if we didn't care about anybody else!) Later we met again at a birthday party where initially I didn't want to go because I didn't know anybody, but he convinced me that he doesn't get here very often. Weave spent the entire day together until the party and we had a great time. We even thought about not going to the party, but we did, and I now know it was the right thing to do!

It was at that party that I met my current friend, more accurately that is where I saw him first. Basically we never spoke, but his cute, little boy face and the lovely smile touched me. There were pictures … and then the next party came where I saw him again. I was glad when he appeared, looked at the pictures and we spoke some, said farewell, exchanged pecks on the cheek – and I was completely charmed. As we later discovered, we both felt that something right then and there happened between the two of us.

About a month later I saw his address on a list but I was not certain it was him. I wrote and he responded. We corresponded rather intensively and after a week of letters he decided to visit me – no specific reason, he had nothing else to do. We walked, talked, went to a place where they had music and dancing…..we were on track.

The reason I told the story was that this happened over a year ago. We are together ever since even though in the beginning no one predicted any kind of a future for the two of us saying that Internet relationships end quickly. In our case it was different, our love is still strong and the number of kilometers still don't matter. I've not seen my former friend in person since then. We do see each other on the net occasionally and he was insulted. I know I've hurt him, he is mad at me and it was difficult for him to get over what happened; I've also not seen my 1st virtual friend since then; and with the 2nd virtual friend we've met several times since and continue to correspond, we talk and he became my best friend. It would be difficult to accurately describe our situation, we are very important to each other.
Another interesting thing – for some time now the Internet is not as important to me, I don't miss hanging on the line all day – and my friend feels the same way. I still feel that it is a fantastic opportunity and it is a great place to argue or simply state one's opinion.

The reason I sat down to the keyboard was that most of the stories I read talked about relationships that are ‘already’ 2 months old. Here is another example where after a year it is still working. Of course I saw and experienced the contrary where the perfectly aligned virtual relationship merely lost its mystique with the personal meeting. My favorite quote is: “It is not to get what you want, but to want it still once you get it.”

Many people say that the Internet and the world of computers generally tends to isolate people and after a while we think only in bytes, not able to step out of their own little world. I too had a period where I did nothing but write e-mails all day, but realized that the real relationships are more important. In my case, the computers not only didn't isolate me, but made me more outgoing. I have an easier time making friends in the real world, I have many friends, I'm more open and my life is more colorful.
Thank you for listening to me. Maybe others thought it interesting or useful.

http://www.cyberlove101.com/story14.htm

If I look back, my meeting on the net was completely by accident. I was looking for a CD-ROM drive and while surfing I came across a personal ads section that was free of charge. I became enthused immediately when I saw that there were some 25 girls looking for a partner. Automatically clicked on the “In Search of Females” button without ever suspecting what a misunderstanding this will lead to….and that is what it lead to!

I filled out all the blanks giving the minimum of general information (blond, tall, blue eyes, etc.) I thought I needed a winner of a nick to grab the attention of the readers who are looking at the list of other ads. That's how I ended up with “Snail on Sandpaper” and if that weren't enough, my ad was accidentally placed in Female Seeks Female section of the personals. You can imagine the kind of responses I received. Probably the most interesting thing in that was that the first respondent was a male by the name of Laszlo. None of the females that wrote were willing to believe, however, that I was a male and that this was a mistake in the categories. For the sake of the experience, I waited patiently until the ad expired. I received a stack of letters but unfortunately not one of the met the qualifications I was seeking.

After this experience I was more interested and began searching the personal on the various boards. After I've sown the seeds of expectation on them I sat back and waited for the nibbles like some spider in his web. I made an increasing number of acquaintances most of them surface contacts feeling out the possibilities according to some unwritten rules of etiquette. I enjoyed tremendously because until then I only considered the usual social gathering places as a place to find a person I enjoyed spending time with. Since the past ten years of my life were spent in ‘Saturday night fever’ and none of the relationships stemming from it endured over the long term it occurred to me that the method significant of our century may be more effective than the traditional method that emphasizes the exterior.
My guess appeared to be proving true as I met girls whose attitude was very close to mine, we had a lot in common and they had many of the qualities that I was looking for. I made it a priority to respond to those girls whose overwhelming numbers daily sent me charming, witty and cheerful masterpieces. I figured those not needing days to prepare a response stood far above the average gray masses. I was pleased to encounter conversation partners that I thought existed only in my dreams. It was comforting to me that it was the intellect that had a chance to gain notice rather than be overwhelmed by hormones or desire as could happen in a personal meeting.

I think in some respect this method of meeting people limits the potential terrain to that minimal segment who is on somewhat higher intellectual level from the average, is in the field of computers or is a student who has access to the internet at school or works in the field of computer sciences. As time passed it became clear that I could not maintain contact with all of the individuals who met my criteria. I had two reasons to justify my point of view: someone who divides his love too many ways has little to devote to each and the other was that I noticed how much I've changed. Waiting for the letters and responding to them became too much of a focus for which I was willing to stay late at the office or arrive early in order to have the opportunity to surf the net.

It was sad, but the time arrived when I had to say good-bye and turn my attention to those only who to me for some reason appeared outstanding. The circle became smaller and smaller and I was anxiously waiting to see who will be the person who will make be believe that the internet offers a real opportunity to find a partner.

Finally there remained six women among whom I had to make a choice. As a next move I showed myself in the form of a digital picture to these women and in exchange received an image of the ladies. In cases of mutual attraction we set up a date to meet. It was then that the first disappointments surfaced as some people did not appear the same in real life as they did in a posed, perhaps in some cases, touched up photo. There was one who sent me a picture of her high school graduation, and there was one who appeared incapable of carrying on a one-on-one conversation. The whole process made me wonder if these were really the women who were able to write those wonderful letters that I looked forward to reading. Never mind the idiotic boys who wrote under women's names. Surprisingly there are those who make a sport of doing this and then sit behind their monitor laughing at the fact that they fooled some poor slob.

It was terrific to meet the few that actually turned out as they were expected based on the letters. Naturally there were those who turned out to surpass expectations, their appearance and beauty justified what came across from their letters. There were two individuals who themselves were not aware of the fact, had equal chances for the highest grade from me. They were complete opposites, one is a deep feeling, imaginative, romantic soul and the other a more realistic, stable and a bit shy. I am still in touch with both today except that one became the love of my life and the other the most important friend I have.

I believed in success all along and the results have proven me right. I remember the very beginning of our relationship when I couldn't wait to get my letters, even had my e-mail account sent over to my mobile so that I would know immediately when a letter arrived. There were days when I've read the arriving confessions of love for the fortieth time then race to be the first to respond in kind. It developed into a healthy competition between us where we both attempted to out complement the other with kind words, the expressions of emotions. I began pouting my heart in the form of poetry, finding more and more opportunities to publish the fact that Her and Her alone was the most important for me now. I've made it a point to surprise her with virtual greeting cards, old fashioned hand written notes, placed messages for her on bulletin boards all over the internet and even found an opportunity to make an announcement on the radio that I am here and can hardly wait to see her again. Our meetings were more and more frequent, not an easy feat considering the distance between us as she is a citizen of another country. The internet is a different world, there is no boundary, no time difference and no distance! We were in touch daily, knew of each others schedules, the momentary feelings and there was an occasion that I've sent pictures of myself every few minutes with the help of a digital camera on the net.

Then I noticed that I was not the only one that existed for her, that there were others who received mail from her. There were all kinds of strange thoughts in my head. I suspected that she may still have active personal ads running but I did not know what other nicknames she may be using. I put on my virtual combat fatigues and began my personal crusade. I placed traps throughout the system, registered in a variety of bulletin boards and placed ads while trying to sort through the responses that resulted from them. I've attempted to guess which one she may be. My hunch played out when I received her photo from a new nick. She had no idea that she was corresponding with me and to make it more believable I ‘borrowed’ the image of a strange man in order to further the situation. In this way I was able to get her address from her server and had easily accessed her archived letters and among those I've found those parts where she wrote to others about me.

After this point I revealed myself and attempted to convince her that meeting on the internet may not be a completely safe thing to do. One might share feelings and thoughts with a person who does not exist since the mail system is a very vulnerable tool although most people think their thoughts are safe within. It is a good idea to be careful what they write about and spend a little effort checking out exactly who one is writing to. There may be evil thoughts and intentions hiding behind flattering words and even with a picture one can't be sure that we are talking to a ‘real’ person or a created identity. With a decent search engine it may be possible to find the same picture file on several other sites.

There are people who spend entire days on the various personal ad sections and they change identities almost weekly without bothering so much as attaching a real scanned in picture to their ad. Instead they place a link in their text that connects the reader to an ad that may be placed on a number of strange boards throughout the world. It should not be neglected that in their ads most people describe themselves as the ‘Marlboro man’ or a seductive ‘Miss Universe’ with all the positive traits to go along with the image yet these things may have as much in common with reality as the Rubik cube to a helicopter blade.

The bottom line is that curiosity prompts one to act and those actions are not always performed in the most decent manner. What was the result of my expedition? Both of us lost our faith in each other for a while playing games of hide and seek on the various bulletin boards hoping to discover before being discovered. We had to recognize that in this form our constant suspicion would be damaging to our relationship. The basis of every relationship is trust and the seed of trust is honesty. Those who have nothing to hide have nothing to be afraid of. Eventually we both had to agree that nothing was more important that to love someone, to belong to someone in the real world.

In summary I must mention that personally I feel that meeting on the internet is a positive step. We, who with unbelievable luck have found the love of our lives have perhaps laid the foundation of a new method available for future generations. We would like to encourage newness by our positive example, to be brave.

I recommend to all lonely seekers who have the opportunity, to look for their love on the internet. If they succeed, they should remember to return to the real world where they can not only read about love but experience it with passion.

Sanyi

http://www.cyberlove101.com/story16.htm

One of my favorite columns in the Internet Kalauz is the Internet Love Story, if for no other reason, because I also sort of met my love on the internet.

My story that I want to share with you and the readers is different from those written about in the column before. Here we ‘only’ realize that the internet is able to dissolve prejudices and how it can make us realize that ‘it is only with the heart that we can see clearly, what is important is invisible to the eye” (saint-Exupery)

The entire thing began around September of ’98 when I was hopelessly and I mean hopelessly in love with Aniko. Unfortunately she believed the several rumors circulating about me around school even though 101% of them are craziness. When she heard my name she wanted to jump out the window and that made me very sad. We have not spoken a word to each other yet she hated me. There was nothing I could do since she was not willing to talk with me.

I thought the only thing that would help here is a miracle. What could that miracle be? The Internet, of course, and a huge dose of coincidence. One afternoon I was at the computer club when I looked at the personal ads. As I was flipping among the ads I saw her name. That's when the cyber-lightning struck! I arranged for an e-mail address for myself under Freemail just so I could correspond with her. Other than giving her my name, I wrote only things about me that were true. The result of all this was that we fell in love. I virtually became two people: one Aniko was in love with and the other she hated! I felt pretty weird every time she complimented me but I could peel out only the person that I loved and who loved me.

Then came phase two! I wrote her an e-mail under my own name with my old e-mail address that I would like to meet her and would like for her to really get to know me, and by-the-way I really liked her. The answer was a unanimous rejection saying she already had a boyfriend (if she only knew that it was me) and that I should leave her alone forever. At the same time she was on wonderful terms with my alias, told me she loved me and if I was such a wonderful person she didn't even care what I looked like and would like to meet me in person. Now comes the Happy End: we arranged when and where to meet. She waited there and I approached timidly. The initial reception was the usual until she realized that she was waiting for me. I convinced her to listen to me and then I quoted her a few lines from the poem that my ‘other’ side sent her in e-mail. We embraced, kissed and are in love ever since, which I sincerely hope will continue for a long time.

The moral of this story is that if we treat anonymity with care and don't overdo it, it can be a distinct advantage that we don't see each other. In any case, we are very happy now and I have the internet to thank for it. Although I don't know what would have happened if she was not listed in the personals. Things would have turned out very differently, I may have forgotten her by then. A few clicks on the mouse can change your whole life. If this didn't happen to me I would probably not believe it possible.

Kind regards from
Gergo

http://www.cyberlove101.com/story19.htm

“Grey Zone: that unspoken sphere that arises in haze where the games take place between men and women.”
Pascal Bruckner

Love: that longing after another, which in cyber romance accordingly is the multidimensional interference points of virtual individuals expanding universe at the speed of light. The problem is that if we should find the perfect partner in cyber space our desires are fulfilled merely on the level of ideals. We must be satisfied with the image that the medium allows to create to suit our desires without a form. In a relationship such as this the honeymoon passes without reservations yet without consummation while discovering new, even perverse characteristics of our partner. To make it simpler, we don't even have to share living space with anyone and in the cyber world there is no HIV virus.

Darling, your monitor has a cold glare today, have I offended you? Would you like me to immediately log out of your life? You've picked up some cheap cyber tramp again? May fatal error strike your damned server!

If this or lines like it appear on your monitor chances are it means, as in real life, that romance is at an end. On the net things hardly ever get this far, because partners make the mistake of meeting in person over a cup of coffee or something of that sort, and then never again ANYWHERE! Assuming of the physical body can be a very disappointing experience.

Cyber romance can be abnormally wonderful only if we never actualize ourselves to the potential partner. Adding only to the sad charm of post modernism, perhaps new-relativism that seems close to Werther’s type of chewing one's own tail sentimentality, a dangerous mind altering method of the post-gutenberg era. This assistance allows us to make a break and completely get away from reality, if there is such a thing at all. To fall in love and remain so for a lifetime to an individual wrapped in mystical haze represented by the symbols on the monitor, who may not be a blond cyber demon at all but a curious, fiftyish psychologist with a hairy chest and a few fetishes.

The net is a painfully ideal medium to escalate the mysteries of undiscoverable personalities to infinity. This mystery is part of the light and shadow play of love in the real world but the e-mail is far more adept at perpetuating this. Between each SEND and REPLY one can work out the tactics of the virtual personality and those not so experienced may read pointers from Anderson. You can take this artificial picture and press it into cyber time. If someone is flirting simultaneously they can multiply their personality on the spot. The only danger of this among the more emotional is, that they end up believing that the virtual presentation is who they really are. This leads to a complete split in personalities and the unfortunate, frustrated soul may throw himself into the system until all of the servers in the world freeze.

How does a real cyber romance begin that only reality put an end to? Whatever the answer to that question, we know that it will NOT start if any of the following appear on the screen by e-mail or in chat:

You've only one flaw, baby, I don't see your thigh?
Or
Are you also chatting from your home telephone? In that case, stay a while….
Or
We're right on track mama, I'm inspired by conspiracy.

As a matter of fact, a relationship could begin in any of those ways, but it is not the beginning of cyber romance. Let's see how we can best emphasize the phantom:
….I've searched for you on Alta Vista and….now I've found you
or
it happened, I'm here and when you responded my heart skipped a beat…Perhaps a more imaginative one: I've a monitor shape, 101 fingers, 20 SGA 1280*1024 stereo 16 bite ears and a brain equipped with dual Pentium 180. The rest of my body parts are in a tower case box currently playing with my mouse. I'm only in touch with spring through the meteorology server.

When you've finally succeeded in catching your loved one on-line:
Are you really here? I can't believe it, let me sniff the monitor for a while. I’ll get a scent card and then I’ll have a RealSmell server….

Subject lines could prove to be fatal attraction where the would-be Cyber-Romeo or Cyber-Juliet may begin to rejoice once the mail is downloaded. The utmost of thoughtfulness may be the cyber-galery, which due to the picture size uses a large memory portion of the machine. This way you may send 10-20 of these out of virtual revenge to anyone you don't like so that they mail slows to a virtual stop.

Naturally, cyber love is also similar to real love in that once we become familiar with the characters of the loved one, the desire for new challenges appears and new underlying feelings. Times like these the more romantic sort will archive all the letters of the loved one, those with a cooler head, while shedding an acidic tear will send it into DEL oblivion. The more frivolous will keep all of the residue from the simultaneous flirts, developing virtual harems since there is little chance of being caught and even so, the machine is not loaded.

For the purposes of keeping this specific gray zone even darker, we could neglect answering the e-mail of the other for weeks until they will chaotically wonder in the frightening labyrinths of the net searching for their cyber love, knocking on the doors of all net sources while the idealized (because love's non-democratic character holds valid in cyber space as well) is occupied with something entirely different in this world that to them is not only home but is a linear, sunny, comfortable place.

http://www.cyberlove101.com/story22.htm

By: Ally

In 1993, while still in middle school, two shy, ackward 12 year olds met in their 6th grade class. He was tall, lanky, goofy and mature for his age...she was tall, a litle chubby but pretty, and really involved in life and school activities. From the second he met her, he loved her. His eyes were transfixed on her sea green eyes and her infectious laugh. She thought he was sweet, but other than that, she didn't give him the time of day. He did everything to win her attention, but all she found in him was a best friend. For years she confided in him about all her secrets, her problems, made him approve of every boyfriend (which he didn't always do and she didnt always listen), until 2 years later, he moved to CT with his family. He was grief stricken to lose the girl he loved, she missed her best friend. The two friends remained in constant contact (he even had his parents drive 3 hours to be a part of a chorus concert, just to be with her) but didnt get to see one another again until they were 18 years old. That whole time, he had held out hope for her, and when she came to visit him, she told him they should date. He was estatic, she wasn't overly serious.

Not long after, she wrote him telling him that she loved him but that it wouldn't work. He was crushed....she moved on. Yet still he held out hope. When she was 20, she got married...eloped...and did not tell him. He found out through her mother and was furious that he did not know about it. He tried to regain her friendship, but her husband was controling and would not allow it...they didnt speak again for 4 years. Then by the grace of God, she divorced him. He was sorry that she had been hurt (abused), but knew that she did not belong with him...they began a friendship again and she invited him down to meet the new guy she was dating and get his approval...just like always....This time, she noticed something in him. He grew into an amazingly handsome, ambitious, funny and intelligent man. Now, at 24 years old, they both began to see something in each other that had not been possible before...a future. She could not focus on her boyfriend, but remained with him, longing for him.

A few months passed and they remained friends still and talked almost every day. She invited him down memorial day weekend for her grandmother's 80th birthday and he came...for her. And then it happened....he kissed her. He didnt care any more about the other guys, or what she was doubting...he had to get his point across that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her....she kissed him back. They spent the weekend talking and making love until dawn and things changed. They fell in love....nothing else mattered. They were best friends since they were little kids...now they were lovers, they were complete. She admitted this to her boyfriend, he was crushed, she was sorry....but so happy....She told him that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him too....he backed away! This was so confusing for both of them! You may ask....why did he back away!? This is what he wanted all along! You see, the love of his life, his best friend, had cancer and a heart defect that could cause problems later on. He was afraid to lose her...he didnt want to watch her die. He thought, if he were just her friend, it wouldnt hurt as much if she died. She cried, she pleeded, he thought....He decided...Now that he had the best, second best would never do. He said yes, he would be with her always. She cant forget his smile, his kiss, his touch and is anxiously awaiting the day they can be together always (they live 3 hours apart).....He is happy knowing that he finally gets to love forever, the woman he has loved all along. Their parents are thrilled for them....they hope to be married some time in 2007.....

This is my love story.... Ally

http://www.loveletterbox.com/love_story_endless_love.htm

by Shanaya

Some may call me crazy. LOL! I beg to differ. I mean, aren't all first crushes this way? You never get completely over it; at least I haven't. I've been crushing on this dude since the second grade! That was when we first met. He stood out so effectively in every way. He was beyond cute and he wasn't just a niggard with looks. Baby boy had smarts, too. I fell head over heals for him from that very day.

Knowing all that, you would think I would've jumped on that ASAP. Wrong! I was a quiet, extremely shy girl who wasn't focused on having a boyfriend. I was only 7! Nevertheless, I wasn't completely into my schoolwork either. Somehow though, I managed to get straight A's without even trying to. I sometimes thought to myself: What? Was my mother all into books in shit while she was pregnant with me, and then suddenly got dumb when I was born? I made no attempt to strive for excellence in school. It just came naturally.

Anyway, Wymaine, that's his name, was the highlight of my life, for that year. I don't know what happened, but it was like he was erased from my memory until the 6th or 7th grade. That's when everything started up again. That's also when I began to gain courage and attitude.

I remember like it was yesterday. I was in the 7th grade, my second year in an honors class. Most of the kids who were in regular classes looked at honors kids as stuck-up, know it all bastards. Shit, I always thought that way, too. Being in there with them kind of made me feel as if I had to start all over again to gain the "regular kids'" respect. I didn't want them to hate me as much as they hated the "smart kids," just by me being in classes with them.

On the contrary though, they didn't see me any different. That made me feel good, and made me attempts to go after my man! One of my friends, Shanille, was in his class that year. Right away, I put her on the case and badgered her to help me out. She wasn't tryin help me right away, so I moved on¡Kto another helper.

I had another friend, ironically named Romaine, who was real cool with him. He jumped on it as soon as I let him know the deal, but told me that Wymaine said he wasn't interested. My heart was crushed for a few days, before Shanille came to me and said Wymaine wanted my number. I nearly fainted at the sound of those words!

We got together, as a couple, but were surrounded by so many haters and nosey motha fuckas. I had a best friend telling one of the "cool" teachers what was going on with him and me. He had a best friend who was a terrible influence, making him real unattractive with his fake bad boy attitude. Above all, we had a kind of "in school" relationship. We never saw each other outside of school. We called each other every day on the phone, but not many words were exchanged.

The only good thing I got out of it was that he was a star basketball player on our school team and I was the turned-out quiet girl who became a cheerleader for that same team. At games, I would cheer him on. When he got hurt, I would act out, being all concerned and shit. And at half time and cheerleading competitions, I would work harder than any of the other girls, having everything on point and moving extra sexy, knowing he was watching. I mean, I was almost a toothpick back then. If I had the curves back then that I have now, you already know, he would've been on me like frosting on a cake! But that's another topic right there.

Things ended between us because of the ridiculous mishaps that I explained earlier. We kept in contact with one another on and off until our sophomore year of high school. Things abruptly stopped and I thought that was that. Of course I never got over him, but even seeing him in school made me too vulnerable to even converse with him.

My friends always said that I stalked him around school. Not even, my dude. I just got that feeling as if nothing could faze me whenever I saw him, but still no words were said. It wasn't until recently that I convinced myself to get over my nerves and to go after that unfinished business.

I still had his number, so I wrote a text message to him, telling him how sexy I thought he was. (That took too many balls for me to do than what already had!) He had no clue who I was at first. After remembering me, we talked, through text, for some time. We reminisced on times I had no idea he even knew about. We bugged out, and by that night, I had my man again!

Look, Naya gets what she wants, even if it's not right away, no matter how long it may take. Look at me now. After 10 years I finally got my book, more ready now than ever before. It's been two weeks since things have rekindled. How long it may last? Who knows? So far, he's seen a side of me that he would have never imagined, and vice versa. There's still more to come with that, but that's some shit you'll just never know! Like Joa would say: COMING SOON!

Until then just remember one thing from a person with experience. Go after that person that you may be deadly infatuated with. It's not crazy; it's just striving to get what you want. Even if you are turned down, you would feel better in the long run just knowing that you took a chance, stayed determined and positive in the process, and that you faced one of your fears. Trust me, it won't hurt; go for it!

http://www.loveletterbox.com/love_story_by_shanaya.htm

This story is a happy ending with a different twist. Kareema, our

protagonist, was born with a disability. She had open heart surgery

which could have killed her, but with the help of the doctors and her

parents praying she was saved. Kareema is thankful to Allah.

Among Kareema’s two best friends, one is a girl and the other a boy.

AlthoughKareema always believed in arranged marriages, somehow she fell in lovewith her best friend (Shahid). She always thought that he would

wanta more popular girl in his life. In Bengali culture arrange marriage isused all the time by a relative of that person who will get married. Ifsomeone has love marriage that person’s family is ignored by otherrelatives.

When they both turned 16, she was stunned and hurt tofind out that Shahid would be moving to another country. Kareema didn'texpress her feelings to him because she always knew the guy should makethe first

move. So neither said anything. As the Quran declares, "That God has created everyone for someone already and it is our destinyto meet ."

With that thought she tries to forget him. She starts to love a guy who

doesn't exist yet. He will love her even knowing that she has a

disability.Her other best friend (Jumaana) was always with her. One day she

was telling Kareema that her family was looking for a wife for her uncle.

Since that day, she kept seeing him in her dreams-- mystified because

shedoesn't even know what he looks like. In her dreams she saw a figurewho was the guy of her dream. He had the same color skin as her, shorthair, and was two feet taller than her. Kareema can’t stop thinkingabout what she saw and tried so hard to remember the face but it wastoo blurry.

Then, one day at her new job, she met a co-worker with the same

time lunch break… Slowly he fell in love with Kareema. She had no clue,

and he didn't tell her. At Jumaana’s birthday party,

Kareemawas surprised to see her co-worker: "Wow! What you are doing here?" Kareema’s best friend exclaimed, "You guys know each other?" They bothsaid yes. "This is my uncle." Shocked, he ended up telling his feelings,

and she accepted his proposal, and so did both of their parents. The

next month was their wedding. Sara was stunned to hear that her best

friend (Shahid) was coming to her wedding.

Kareema and the best friend meet each other but without saying anything.

The next day Kareema received a small letter saying that her best friend

(Shahid) wants to meet her in his room. She ran to his room. At first

they didn’t say anything but later he said "I Love you". Kareema was so

astonished because she was waiting to hear that for such a long time. She

ran and hugged him and said "I Love you too". But then she realized

she’s getting married today. The silence between them was so low

that you can hear other people from other rooms having fun at the

wedding. He holds her hand and said “I may not be with you in this

world but next lifetime you are mine, even if I have to fight with your

husband.” They both had tears in their eyes but yet happy that they

willmeet again next life time. If Kareema runs away with Shahid then herparent’s respect from other people will be gone. The whole entirefamily will be blamed for one mistake. In Bengali tradition the mostimportant for every family is to have a good reputation with respectand love from others. If she runs away with Shahid neither of her othersiblings will get good wedding proposals again because they will thinkthat they will do the same mistake. With that thought Kareema gotscared and does not want to be selfish and decided to get married toJumaana’s uncle. The wedding ceremony was held and shahid didn’t wantto see the whole ceremony so he just left the ceremony without tellinganyone. Kareema was looking for shahid to at least say good-bye but sherealized he wasn’t at her wedding. Since Kareema have to leave and goto her husband house because its required for every Bengali girl to getmarried and go to her husband house and that will be her new houseuntil she dies. Kareema was happy she got married to Jumaana’s unclewho always loved her but yet she will never forget Shahid. She followedevery thing in her marriage life with respect and love. While Shahiddecided to continue his studying and become a traveler.

Three yearslater, Shahid had died in a plane crash. Kareema was so shaken that shedidn’t talk to anyone. When it was time to bury Shahid’s dead bodyKareema ran to it and touched his face, crying, and said “ I willalways love you ,and remember our promise I will come pretty soon tomeet you in Next Life Time.’’ She kissed the dead body’s forehead andlet family members bury him.

After two years later, Kareema had aheart attack and she died. Why could not two lovers be together becauseof the cruelty and selfish people in this world. Even though they neverdid anything wrong just saying they love each other they still had aknowledge about this world. The two lovers was so scared to even bringout the topic of love to anyone in their family.

We can predict atthe end that they are already together in Next life. As the Qurandeclares” If you do good on this life ,you can go to heaven and ask foranything you want.” This show the faith in Allah and believing in thehear after. Kareema wakes up and see that she’s in a field filled withbeautiful flowers and a house next to it. While she was walking andlooking around she saw a figure on the floor. That figure was Shahidand she ran into him and hugged him without even realizing that theywere on the floor. They both looked at each other and smiled.

http://www.astorytoshare.com/lovestory.php?id=3409

From Reader's Digest - February 2008

As blind dates go, it was a good one. The year was 1950, and some friends figured that 20-year-old Grace Miltenberger might like their fellow Marine, Bob. They were right. "I thought he was the most handsome man in the world, and I fell right in love with him," she says. It was mutual.

They dated happily for almost a year, then Bob up and disappeared. No calls, no visits and, most maddeningly, no explanations.

Not one to wallow, Grace enlisted in the Marines. Four years later, she and Bob hooked up again. Neither remembers the exact circumstances, but Grace does recall, "I still loved him." And after a few months, her finger sported a big, fat diamond engagement ring.

Then it happened again. In October 1954, she got a call from Bob saying he couldn't go through with it. No reason given; he just couldn't do it.

"The not knowing why is what hurt the most," says Grace.

As before, she collected herself. In 1958 she married another man, and over the years, the couple had five daughters. But the marriage was an unhappy one, and adding to Grace's anxiety was a secret she kept from her husband. Taped to the underside of a dresser drawer was the engagement ring Bob had given her. After what he put her through, most people might have pawned it or tossed it in a river. But not Grace. "I never stopped loving him," she says.

When her faltering marriage dissolved in 1969, Grace devoted herself to her daughters and to getting degrees in sociology and nursing. Fast-forward to 2004. The phone rings. A voice says, "Gracie?"

"I threw the phone in the air and said, "Oh, my God. It's Bob.'"

He'd called under the pretense of finding out where the guy who'd introduced them was buried. Three and a half hours later, they hung up. During their chat, Grace learned that Bob was a widower after 48 years of marriage.

"I never figured out what happened to us," he said at one point.

"I'll tell you what happened -- you dumped me." But she wasn't mad. She was thrilled to be talking to him.

On New Year's Day, 2005, they became engaged over the phone. Six months later, Bob visited Grace at her home outside Tulsa. It was the first time they'd seen each other in half a century. He showed up at her doorstep, and, she says, "we just walked into each other's arms like we'd always been together."

On the day he popped the question, Bob said, "Now I guess I've got to get you a ring."

"No," she said. "I've got one."

"Who gave you that?"

"You did, you big, dumb jerk. Fifty years ago."

This time, Bob didn't run away.

http://www.rd.com/living-healthy/what-they-did-for-love-true-love-stories/article51952-3.html

Aric Egmont knew he had to calm down or he was going to blow it. After all, who breaks out into a flop sweat doing the crossword puzzle? If he didn't relax, he was sure to clue his girlfriend, Jennie Bass, into the fact that this was no ordinary Sunday Boston Globe. This was his marriage proposal.

The two, both 29 -- he's in communications, she studies public health -- had dated for four years and never seriously discussed marriage. Why mess up a good thing? went the thinking. But Aric had second thoughts. And since they were fanatics, he says, proposing via the tiny boxes of a crossword puzzle "was a more natural idea than it might seem to others."

So last June he contacted the Globe and told them about his idea. They bit. Aric fed Globe puzzle writers Emily Cox and Henry Rathvon (who also create RD's Word Power column) personal info to be turned into clues, then he waited ... for four torturous months.

On the morning of September 23, having not slept the entire night before, Aric nonchalantly asked Jennie, "Want to do the crossword puzzle?" He bolted downstairs and out the door, grabbed the paper, then ran up to their bedroom. Climbing back into bed, the two assumed their normal puzzle-solving pose, with Jennie leaning against him. Almost immediately, she was struck by the number of clues that matched up with people and places in her life.

Twenty across asked: "Lover of Theseus." The answer was Ariadne, whose namesake is a friend of Jennie's. Seventy-three across: "One of the Judds." Naomi, also Jennie's sister's name. Ninety-one across: "NASCAR driver Almirola." Answer: Aric.

Aric began scanning ahead to where the big clue was. "I knew the moment was coming," he said. And there it was. One hundred eleven across: "Generic proposal." Clever, he thought, a wordplay on Jen and Aric. The clue next to it was "Winston's mother."

"Look at that," said Aric. "Will you marry me, Jennie.'" He waited for a reaction. He didn't get one. Jennie is a smart person, smart enough to know all about Theseus' love life, but this was information overload. So Aric produced a ring and, quoting the Boston Globe crossword puzzle, asked, "Will you marry me, Jennie?"

After tears and shrieks and lots of "I love you's," Jennie said yes.

"I'm not the most romantic person," admits Aric. "I think I was playing above my head on this one."

Then Romeo adds, "Hopefully, this will satisfy Jennie for a while."

http://www.rd.com/living-healthy/what-they-did-for-love-true-love-stories/article51952-2.html

"I really can't think of anybody who wouldn't appreciate being met at the airport by a jazz band," says writer Calvin Trillin. "I suppose there might be some people who are in the witness protection program."

But Calvin's wife, Alice, wasn't some hood in hiding, and she would, he knew, most definitely love being feted by a jazz band.

The year was 1972, and Calvin was in Louisiana covering a crawfish festival. Back in New York, Alice's parents were both ill, and she was coming down for some much-needed R&R. Calvin wanted to cheer her up. He called a friend at Preservation Hall about getting a band. But Jazz Fest was in full swing. All the good ones were booked. So he took what was left.

When Alice's flight landed, she deplaned and walked smack into a wall of sound -- brass, to be exact -- tooting a rousing rendition of "Hello, Dolly!" For her. And she laughed.

"She saw it as a grand gesture. And I don't think she cared that the cornet player was actually an antiques dealer." In fact, he wasn't even from Cajun country. He hailed from London. And the trombone player? Norwegian. They happened to be in town for the festival.

Calvin and Alice strolled arm in arm through the terminal, trailed by their personal band blasting out standards. Along the way, passengers fell in behind and began second-lining all the way to the baggage area.

"Usually not the most interesting of times, waiting for your bags," says Calvin. "But they kept playing."

Alice died a few years ago, but Calvin clings to the memory of that day. "She was a very engaged person," he says. "Having a jazz band meet her fit her personality."

So what if he couldn't land a Satchmo or a Wynton Marsalis? As Calvin reminds us, "Imperfect gestures are still nice gestures."

http://www.rd.com/living-healthy/what-they-did-for-love-true-love-stories/article51952-1.html

By Andy Simmons

On a Sunday evening last November, Patrick Moberg, 21, a website developer, was in the Union Square subway station in New York City. "Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed this girl," he says. "She had bright blue shorts and dark blue tights and a flower in the back of her hair." New York's fun if you're a guy -- the city's lousy with gorgeous women. But this one was different. She was his perfect girl.

When the number 5 train pulled into the station, the two got on. "I was enthralled," he says. "I noticed details like her braided hair and that she was writing in a pad. I couldn't shake the desire to talk to her."

aking a deep breath, he headed her way. Just then the train pulled into the Bowling Green station. The doors opened, a rush of humanity swarmed in, and then suddenly, she was gone.

He considered giving chase, but there's a fine line between blind love and stalking. He thought of plastering the station with posters. Then a brainstorm: the Internet. "It seemed less encroaching," he says. "I didn't want to puncture her comfort zone."

That night, the world had a new website: nygirlofmydreams.com. On it, Patrick declared, "I Saw the Girl of My Dreams on the Subway Tonight." He drew a picture of the girl etched in his mind, along with a portrait of himself with this disclaimer pointed at his head: "Not insane."

The website spread virally, and soon he had thousands of leads. Some were cranks, and some were women offering themselves in case he struck out.

Two days later, he got an e-mail from someone claiming to know the girl. He even supplied a photo. It was her. She was an Australian interning at a magazine, and her name was Camille. And she wanted to meet too.

Their first meeting was awkward. And why not? It was set up by Good Morning America. Like the rest of the media, GMA saw a great love story and pounced. But being sucked into a media maelstrom isn't necessarily conducive to a nascent love affair. "There was a lot of uncertainty on how to act around each other," Patrick said. And in the back of Camille's mind, a nagging thought: Who is this guy? The media circus eventually moved on, giving the two a chance to talk without a microphone present.

"Everything I found out about her was another wonderful thing," says Patrick. She was smart, funny and a big personality, a nice fit for this shy guy. "And," he continues quietly, "we've been hanging out together every day since."

Thinking back, he sighs. "It's amazing everything went without a hitch."

http://www.rd.com/living-healthy/what-they-did-for-love-true-love-stories/article51952.html

Mirror.co.uk
30/03/2006

AN Indian man has divorced his wife in his SLEEP.

He muttered the word 'talaq' three times, which under Muslim law allows a man to divorce his wife immediately, as he lay next to his stunned ex.

The couple, from West Bengal, went to get advice and were then told by their village elders that they were officially divorced.

The man, known only as Akhtar, and his former wife, Sobena, have said they want to stay together but clerics have told them they must remarry.

The pair are hoping to end their nightmare by registering their marriage under a special act.

Other bizarre divorce laws from around the world

Middle East - Under Islamic law if a wife seeks divorce she has go to court and provide evidence of ill treatment or sexual impotence on the part of her husband.

Japan - A non-Japanese spouse can be divorced without consent as the legally recognised Japanese signature is in the form of a stamp. The international member has to hand sign to authorise divorce – for which there is no legal register – making forgery easy.

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Sudan - Divorce is made deliberately difficult for the Neur people of Sudan. Marriage is only complete after the groom has paid 20-40 cattle and the wife bears two children. If he wants a divorce and the couple only have one child he can ask for the return of the cattle or the child.

Bangladesh - Under Islamic shariah marriage laws, only men have the right to initiate divorce proceedings.

United States - It is possible for Americans to travel abroad for quickie divorces; it takes just four weeks to become legal in the Dominican Republic, one to two weeks in Nevada and only 24 hours in Haiti! Celebrities such as Mariah Carey, Michael Jackson and Elizabeth Taylor have all taken advantage of this.

Associated Press
updated 12:35 p.m. ET, Thurs., March. 29, 2007
http://www.msnbc.msn.com

Feuding couple separated by wall told they have no grounds for divorce

NEW YORK - Feuding spouses who built a wall through their three-story row house because neither would give it up cannot divorce, a jury ruled.

Jurors on Wednesday shot down the “cruel and inhuman treatment” Chana Taub cites as grounds for divorcing Simon Taub after more than 20 years of marriage and four children.

“I’m dismissing the whole case. That’s it,” Justice Carolyn Demarest said.

To revive the case, Chana Taub would have to file it again, on new grounds.

“I was in total shock,” Chana Taub told the Daily News. “It’s unbelievable.”

The husband’s lawyer, Abe Konstam, called the case an extraordinary waste and said the trial wouldn’t have been necessary if New York changed its divorce laws. The state doesn’t allow the speedy dissolution of a marriage without proof that one spouse is somehow at fault.

The case is one of the strangest divorces New York has seen, mainly because of the wall.

A judge ordered the couple to put it up because neither wanted to move out. She got the top floor and the kitchen on the second floor; he got the living room on the first floor and the dining room on the second floor. The door between the dining room and the kitchen was barricaded on both sides.

The case has been dubbed Brooklyn’s “War of the Roses,” after the 1989 movie starring Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner as a fueding couple.

Chana says that for two decades she served Simon like a virtual slave, putting up with physical and mental abuse.

Simon denies ever laying a hand on his wife and says he gave her a luxurious lifestyle. He says she wants the divorce to squeeze what money he has left. His sweater manufacturing company went bankrupt in the late 1990s, and he suffered a second heart attack in 2005 that worsened their financial problems, he says.

Fri Oct 10, 2008 7:06 AM EDT
http://www.newsvine.com

PHNOM PENH — A couple in rural Cambodia has terminated their 18-year marriage with a divorce settlement that entailed sawing in two the wooden house they once shared, villagers said Friday. The husband, 42-year-old Moeun Sarim, has taken away with him all the bits and pieces of his half a house, said his 35-year-old wife, Vat Navy.

"Very strange, but this is what my husband wanted," she said by phone from a village about 62 miles east of Cambodia's capital, Phnom Penh. She said they ended their marriage last month.

"He brought his relatives and used saws to cut the house in half," she said, adding that she now owns the other half that is still standing. The house is made from wood with a tile roof and propped up on wooden pillars, a typical style for a Cambodian country home.

She said her estranged husband and his relatives, after ripping apart half of the house, carried all the debris to his parents' house nearby.

She said the divorce was prompted by her husband's jealousy about her alleged relationship with a policeman in the village. She denied having an extramarital affair.

"He wanted a divorce, and I said, `Let's divorce,'" she said.

The husband could not be reached for comment.

Bou Bout, a village chief, said local officials and police were present as witnesses the day the couple split their 20-by-24 1/2 foot house into half.

"Local officials tried three times to get them to mend their differences, but the husband would not budge," Bou Bout said by phone.

Jane Kallir, gallery co-owner, 54, and Gary Cosimini, software developer, 58, New York, N.Y.

She: We were college sweethearts while I was a student at Brown University and Gary was at the Rhode Island School of Design. We met while working on a literary arts journal; I was the editor, and Gary was the art director. After I graduated, we moved in together in Manhattan in the fall of 1976-New York was the place for us. And in 1985, to celebrate our tenth anniversary of being together as a couple, we got married.
Gary Cosimini and Jane Kallir
Photographed by Andrew Brusso
Gary Cosimini and Jane Kallir found he true meaning of marriage: understanding.

But exactly ten years after that, things began to fall apart. I think we'd gotten into a rut. We weren't communicating very well. And Gary was the one who had the full-blown midlife crisis-he quit his job, left me, and bought a boat. When he moved out of our apartment, he wrote me a note that said, "I'll always love you, but right now I just can't live with you."

That was hard. I think when a marriage fails, it's usually the fault of both parties. I can look back now and say this was an important learning process for us, but at the time, it was awful.

After we divorced, we kept in touch. We had dinner together occasionally. He bought a house; I bought an apartment. I was dating; he was dating. I met some interesting guys, but no one could hold a candle to Gary. Aside from being intelligent, funny, and kind, Gary has such a special way of looking at things. Then, when his father passed away, in November 2000, I really wanted to be there for him. I drove up to Massachusetts in the snow, with a terrible cold, and I think it was at that moment that we realized we were still a couple and had always been. We wanted to be together. We'd shared so much over the years, like rings on a tree. We had such a bond.

We've just gotten married for the second time, this past November. The second wedding means so much! We don't just love each other-we love each other more than ever.

He: I sent Jane a topiary teddy bear for Valentine's Day some years back. I didn't attach a note. It was my way of reestablishing contact with her at a time when she was angry with me. I thought a nice, funny, wordless gesture might do the trick. She got the message. It was a resurrection of our past: I'd given her another teddy bear a long time ago. She still has it.

We're the same people today, but we have a new agreement on how we live and work together and how we help each other. I still have my house on Long Island, and I travel a lot for work. Jane runs an art gallery in Manhattan. So we each have our space.

The big lesson for me is the depth and nature of our feelings. We've been through difficult patches, but we've found each other again.

(http://www.rd.com)

Shelia Wilson, Air Force chaplain, 56, and Tony Carter, Army veteran, 52, southern New Mexico

She: As a busy professional, I really didn't have time to meet men. I was in my 50s and had never married.

I'm a chaplain and an officer in the United States military, so I wanted to make sure the man was the same rank as I was. I wanted him to be comfortable with me. I wanted someone to walk with me, not in front of me or behind me.
Tony Carter and Sheila Wilson
Photographed by Karen Kuehn
Tony Carter and Sheila Wilson put their own spin on love.

Out of nowhere, I found a website called faithmate.com. In August 2007, I put my profile on it. Tony and I started to look at each other online, and we began chatting. He had been in the service, including a four-year stint in field artillery. He was retired, which was a relief; if he'd still been on active duty, we would have had to stop immediately because of my rank. Later that month, Tony came to my church to hear me preach. What better place to meet someone than in a chapel?

After that, we had lunch and met again a few more times. Then we went to the Maryland State Fair together. We stopped at a booth where a rabbi was counseling couples, and the rabbi said to us, "How long have you two been married?" We looked at him like he was crazy.

Later we got on the carousel. As we were going around and around and up and down, Tony looked over at me and said, "Ms. Wilson?"

I said, "Yes, Mr. Carter?"

He said, "Will you marry me?"

I said, "Oh, sure, is this how our life is going to be? Going around in circles, going up and down all the time?" Then I said, "Yes."

I already had my wedding dress. I had bought it four years earlier. I just knew it was the dress I would be married in.

He: I wanted to ask Shelia to marry me, and the rabbi helped me get my nerve up. After Shelia said yes, she and I walked around the fairgrounds, smiling the whole time.

On the way home, we picked our wedding date. I didn't want to wait until spring, and she didn't want to get married in the cold weather. So we compromised on October 27. The church was filled.

I told Shelia, "It's a little late in life for us. We're both in our 50s." But I was so impressed with her. She talks more than I do, but deep down, she's really an introvert like me.

One thing she did tell me: "You were well worth the wait."

(http://www.rd.com)

George Aye, designer, 32, and Sara Aye, design consultant, 29, Chicago, Ill.

He: It took about two months to plan my marriage proposal to Sara, my girlfriend of three and a half years. We're both designers, and I wanted it to be something that would slowly reveal the words Will you marry me? When a coworker put me in touch with the owner of an art gallery, I decided to stage a fake art show.
Sara and George Aye
Photographed by Andrew Brusso
Sara and George Aye are together by design; he handcrafted his marriage proposal.

First I created it all with 3-D software. Then I made the letters for Will you marry me? out of foam core, using a laser cutter. I broke them into even smaller shapes, so there were about 60 pieces in all, and I stuck each one on its own piece of aluminum siding. The idea was to have the pieces at different heights, arranged seemingly randomly around the room. But if Sara stood in just one place, she could read my question.

I set up a video camera where Sara would be standing to make sure the letters lined up right; it took a full 40-hour workweek to arrange them. It was a nightmare! I really sweated. About a week before, I sent an e-mail to Sara and all our friends, saying, "There's an artist, Serge Gandaora, who's having a show on Friday called My Early Muir Owl." I played with words: Serge Gandaora was an anagram of "George and Sara," while My Early Muir Owl was a jumble of "Will you marry me?" The studio owner even enlisted an actor friend to play Serge during the show.

The day of the proposal, I texted a few friends, "This is a big day. I hope I don't screw up." I just wanted Sara to know how much I loved her.

She: At the gallery, after I'd chatted with people for a few minutes, George walked over and said, "My friend can introduce us to Serge." Serge said his artwork was "all about the intersection of text and space." I was thinking, I don't see any text. But just to be polite, I said, "Oh, wow, that's great!" Then Serge said, "If you look through these frames, you'll see the world differently."

Well, I saw these frames-like little rectangles-placed all around the room. I looked through one, but I just saw white pieces. Then George steered me toward a pair of frames, one at eye level and the other a couple of feet off the ground. The lower one was a vehicle for him to get on one knee! I looked through the frame, and after a second, I saw the word you. It was magical, appearing as if out of nowhere. I moved my head one degree and suddenly the whole thing just came together: Will you marry me?

The room had gone silent. Everybody was looking at me. I turned and saw George on one knee and I started to freak out. He was holding a ring, looking at me like, Well ...?

And I said, "Of course I'll marry you!"

It was amazing. I was crying, and I kind of fell against the wall. I remember thinking that he didn't have to work so hard to persuade me. I would have said yes anyway!

They Spoke a Romance Language

Heather Pucheu, property clerk, 31, and Fabrice Pucheu, artist, 34, Spokane, Wash.

She: In my high school French class, there was a pen pal requirement. The matchups were completely random. When Fabrice and I started writing to each other, I told him about school, and he told me about his life in Léon, France, as a landscape artist. For the next eight years, we shared our lives on paper. We were able to be really honest and say things many people probably wouldn't say to each other-there were no appearances to keep up. Each letter brought us closer than we'd been before, but I never expected anything but friendship. During these years, I dated, got married, got divorced, and dated a bit more. I continued writing to Fabrice.

Then 9/11 happened. It made me understand how short life is and that it could be taken away at any second. Fabrice and I really bared our souls after that, although I think we didn't realize how much our relationship was changing.

When Fabrice came to visit in September 2002, I went to pick him up at the airport, saw him, and fell in love at first sight. I know it sounds hokey, but you never think it will happen until it happens to you. I just knew I was going to marry him. I was so happy to finally meet the person I had gotten to know so well as a friend-we had all of that groundwork laid already.

It was an easy transition to romance. I spoke a little French, and Fabrice spoke some English. We went on long walks and started this wonderful new chapter in our lives.

Now Fabrice is the cook in our family; I haven't had to cook a single meal since we got married. His quiche Lorraine and paella are my favorites.

To this day, I still have all of Fabrice's letters.

He: It was wonderful finally meeting Heather after knowing her long distance for so long. I just knew she was the one. After I got my visa and put all the paperwork behind me, she and I settled in Spokane together.

I am still painting landscapes. When people tell me my artwork is beautiful, I do not question why. I know the reason: My wife inspires me.

(http://www.rd.com)

A church leader in Florida has urged parishioners to have sex every day for a month to help cut America's high divorce rates.

Pastor Paul Wirth, who is taking up the sex marathon challenge with his wife Susie, said that couples right across the nation were struggling in their relationships.

For married people he said it seemed like "the sex is great up front but then for some reason life happens."

But for singles "it's like you're always thinking about it and you're like, man I'd like to have it as much as possible."

Sometimes that prevented single people from having a great and healthy relationship later on when they got married.

But Mr Wirth's challenge for his single parishioners is a little different than that for married couples. He wants them to abstain from sex for 30 days.

The head pastor of the Relevant Church in Ybor City, outside Tampa, delivered his 30-day sex challenge to churchgoers on Sunday during a sermon series on relationships.

He said it was one way of taking on America's 50 per cent divorce rate.

He referred to a recent study out that showed that 20 million married Americans have sex fewer than 10 times a year.

People's jobs, houses, children and other things tended to get in the way, he said. He believed that men really needed to re-evaluate their wife's needs.

"We so often come home and kick off our shoes and pick up the remote and don't offer to help with dinner, don't offer to help with the kids -- and then we just expect fireworks in the bedroom," he told news media.

But husbands needed to meet their wives' needs on intimate levels, he added.

Pastor Wirth said his 30-days of sex call had attracted international as well as national attention. This was because churches had remained silent on the subject of sex for too long.

"God is the one who talks about love and authors love, and He knows that He wants us to be intimate and connected with each other on a daily basis," he said.

The three-year-old Relevant Church says it is a casual, contemporary Christian church and its services are designed specifically for urban professionals and young families.

Mr Wirth's previous sermons have included using hit movie Shrek The Third to explain "what happens when we trust God".

His latest challenge isn't just about connecting on a physical basis, he said. Couples have to begin meeting each other's emotional and spiritual needs, he added. Those taking part fill out an emotional needs questionnaire that allows their spouses to see what is lacking and work out how to fulfil those needs.

The idea is to help couples refocus on their marriage. While the challenge is for a month, Pastor Wirth believes the 30 days will lead to a lifetime.

- Feb 25, 2008 (http://www.thatsweird.net)

I been playing a lot of Xbox Live recently after my girlfriend cheated on me and shattered my heart. I needed a way to pass time and get my mind off of the unfaithful woman that I loved. I began playing a lot of team oriented shooters such as Left 4 Dead and such and met a wonderful woman who was decent at the game. I knew nothing about her other than her Xbox Live name and that she had a boyfriend. She was also from a different state, so I figured that ever meeting her was impossible.
We continued to play the game together and my feelings for her began to grow. I knew what she looked like, but really nothing more than that so I went out on a limb and began innocently inviting her to play Xbox with me as soon as she was done dealing with her boyfriend. Even though we’d never met, I suggested she break up with her boyfriend so we could be together. I had given up on love until I met this woman, so I figured I couldn’t let this one get away.
It only took about a month for her to break up with her boyfriend and begin building an online relationship. I was amazed that it actually worked! I never thought stories like that were true. There was still the fact that she lived in a different state, but we didn’t let that stop us. It was only about 500 miles away, which I thought was an acceptable distance for love. I went down to see her, we had a wonderful time, and we have been together for 6 months since.