July 03, 2009, 11:58:06 AM

Yesterday I went to the libary. Being a nice day I decided to walk. Couple blocks away I spotted something laying beside the sidewalk. A wallet. I promptly picked it up and flipped it sideways. Seeing a thick greeness that could be only one thing I decided not to tempt myself by seeing how much was in there. (if it was ones I'd be impressed, if it was bigger bills...)

I opened it's side pockets to see if I could find a name, and low and behold I spotted the logo of a drivers license. So I had the address. Check the house numbers and discovered it was the one next door to the one standing in front of. About the smallest detour you could imagine, so seconds later I was knocking on the door.

It was opened just about when I started wondering if I could shove the thing through the mail slot and be on my way. I was confronted by a shirtless man who was a surprisingly good resemblance to the DMV picture on the license. I didn't look at the license past the pic but I'd guess 30ish.

(I'm getting to a point)

I say, "I found this on the sidewalk." and hold it out to him. He recoiled, I'm guessing because it was bright outside and his eyes hadn't adjusted enough to see it. A second later he takes it baffled, and looks at me confused. About then a little blond kid, his son as I'd learn soon enough, walks up to watch (maybe 7).

Deciding his confusion was how did I know where to bring it I just say, "License" and you just see understanding color his face. He says thanks and in a completely understandable reaction flips it open to see if his cards are there before he checks the cash. I could see his surprise it still had the wad of cash in there (and I unfortunately saw it looked like mostly $20).

Apparently realizing his good luck (as before he hadn't had time to process) his casual thanks was replaced with a much more enthusiastic thanks. He shook my hand and said I had to meet his wife, to prove there where still good people. Before I could protest I used the hand he was shaking to pull me inside. I figured why not he seemed nice enough and it seemed to be making both our days. Somewhere at this point he starts thanking god I found it. I decide to play nice and not say anything.

The "honey" he yells and promptly a blond woman appears from upstairs. He hands he the wallet and says what happened, thanking me the whole way through. She even hugs me. Everyone is all smiles.

It's getting embarrassing as dad starts lecturing the kid about honesty using me as an example while wifey is thanking me, and has me explain where I found the wallet.

And once again god gets thanked I came alone, this time from her. But she spots the annoyance on my face at that one word. She asks what's wrong. I try for a casual brush off, not a believer, didn't see god help retrieve the wallet(jokingly) ,gotta go. She says that's okay as long as I know god. My response was something like sure whatever. Long story short she keeps asking me questions about my religion, until I just decide to tell her and hubby I'm an Atheist. I don't think I was rude, I just went from the polite brush off to a direct answer.

The mood in the room just changed. Where before she was practically smothering me with a kind of clingy energy, now she was completely standoffish back straight, arms crossed around chest level. She was looking at me like a woman confronting a puppy who had made a puddle on the carpet. Even her nose wrinkled like she was smelling something disgusting.

Dad went from looking like he was about to invite me to dinner to looking like I was a freeloading relative who had just arrived unannounced with suitcases.

Deciding that now I could leave, without getting stopped for more thanks. I said bye. He did shake my hand and thank me again, but he just wanted me gone.

Lesson of the story? You tell me? From hero to zero answering what she wanted to know.

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