Mr. Nghi (Mr. Tom) Huu Nguyen,

How are you? I hope you’re doing great. I may not know the impression you have on me and probably I wouldn’t even get the chance to know… but somehow I feel glad that I’ve finally been brave enough to work on my part. What I mean is I was thinking of sending you message before but I was hesitant. I was so shy. You might even think that I am cheap or not a descent girl. I was so afraid of what you’ll think of me. But this chance is now or never because I may not have other chances anymore. No matter what you’ll think of me, I’ll accept. I will just let time handle everything as well as the consequences.

I am so sorry… I know you are a bit busy yet I taking much of your time once more…I seem to bother you again. Don’t worry this would be (I suppose…) my last letter.

To write you a letter is the only way to tell you what I need to…

I’ve done a good job (I hope and think so). I guess I have taken the right advice from you. I started to be a little confident…to try and to take risks even if I am aware that I couldn’t make it. I worked hard regarding my class standings. I am so glad that I have earned just the right grades. I am working well as a staff writer of the school publication. I am learning to trust myself. I have been so sad since you’ve been gone yet it made me realize a lot of things, to be optimistic and to be friendly. I hope you can see me now in a different perspective. I want to discover and to see more of what life offers. I want to broaden my horizons. I wouldn’t even be able to do all these if I would just sit at a corner without even trying to… I hope I can make it and I can be successful.

Quite honestly, I find it really difficult to forget you… But I guess I am ok now. I can at least say I am. I’d be the one to set an ending to this. I’d be the one to settle the drama.

I felt so ashamed to talk to you and to give you my e-mail address before you left. For what had happened to us, because of that kiss, my very first kiss (the kiss you've granted me) I was filled with so much shame. But my objective of writing you now is not to make you reply…I wouldn’t be that demanding. It’s just, I think this would be my way to get all the answers to my own questions…a way to finally let go ‘cause I know I can’t really have you. I have just been so cruel to myself for a long time. In other words, this would be my way of saying “goodbye”.

If someday, I can get to see your eyes again…your smiles or even your to hear voice once more…I guess I’d be fortunate enough to ask you, “Can we be friends again, Mr. Tom?”

Goodbye…

TAM_Mia Ayala
Originally written on: March 12, 2008
Wednesday 11:00 PM

*I was supposed to ask a Chi Huyen, a former Vietnamese friend and classmate to hand you this letter when she comes back to Vietnam to spend summer vacation with her family.

This is a letter that will forever be unsent. . .