It was 11’00 clock at night; I already had two pegs of rum. Tired with whole day’s work, projects and studies, it was the only way to get fresh and to have time for living life according to own wish.
Late night with strong Rum…..ummmmmmm…it was working hard and my stomach was getting tight and as the warmth of rum spread I could feel the pleasure in my veins. Suddenly the mobile rang; I tried to ignore it first, but later on looked at the screen of the phone. It was unknown number; I disconnected the phone and threw it away. Friends started murmuring among themselves, and one among them asked me about the unknown “Devil” at the other side. I was answerless.
Again after 5 minutes, phone broke the silence and it was again the same number. I thought it was one of my friends; I spoke roughly with hard “HELLO”. There was no reply for few seconds, “Who is this?” I was about the say something more, but one lovely voice made me stop by saying “HELLOOOO”.
Oh my god….this is a girl! I was astonished.
First I thought I was totally drunk. By the time I could have think anything, she said
“I am sorry; I think I should have not called you at this time.”
I was helpless and answerless too. I think we had very short conversation. I don’t remember, what we talked and how it ended, but I hope it was a nice talk. My all friends were fully drunk and were enjoying the music. I was continuously thinking about her and felt sleepy and fell down there.
Next day, I woke up at 8.00 am and anyhow, reached college at 9.00. I was feeling something new on that day. Friends asked who was she. I was clueless, as I don’t remember what we talked last night. I called at the same number, but nobody picked up the phone. I was feeling nervous and was anxious to know who she was. I cursed rum for some time and then had cigarettes at canteen.
In the evening, suddenly my mobile rang and I picked the phone without looking at the number at screen thinking about the mysterious girl but it was Dad. I took a long breadth and talked to him. At around 5.00 in the evening, I received a message from same number, it was written;
“Gud Evening, sorry I was in class, why did you call”. I felt happy that she was thinking about me. I called her immediately and this time, without any mistake, I first asked her name, and then apologized for last night. She was disappointed, when she got to know about my habits.
As soon as I kept the phone, I was puzzled, who gave her my number. This question was eating me up. I, thought of asking her, but was unable to ask her directly. Unknown fear of losing her was stopping me from taking any step. But I was curious to know the answer, so called her back, but she didn’t pick up the phone. There was no reason of fear, but something was cursing me from inside the heart, may be my habits. I was totally emotional and had forgotten about professionalism. I continuously tried her for next two days, but was always disappointed, as she didn’t pick up the phone. I thought it as a pleasant dream and tried to forget it.
Same evening I got a text from her number and I was spellbound as she expressed her wish to meet. I think she was very much clear about her every step, but was just trying to make me move around. I was totally lost imagining about her. I took her proposal as an advantage and decided to meet her, but my mind was full of doubts, emotions, feelings, love and many more.
Next day, we decided to meet nearby ABN – AMRO, and had no plans more than that. As per the schedule, I reached there and rang her. She was at home, getting ready for outing and said she may take 20 more minutes. I was really unable to control my feelings, I was too much curious to meet her immediately, to have many clarifications like how she looks, who she is and many others. I lighted a cigarette to control my emotions, but each puff was giving me sense of insecurity, as she didn’t like my habit. I had half cigarette, suddenly I felt someone standing behind me. I stood disturbed with smoke inside my mouth. I was unable to blow out the smoke and also was not in the position of inhaling it. I stood with plain face, confessing her for nothing. She smiled and said “Hi bhaiya, aap cigarette pete hai kia?” I got anger and shouted for her identity, she was my friend’s sister and had been there to give me pen drive.
As she left, I was shivering in cold winter evening. I found myself in vicious circle of doubts and had never so much feared for anything in my whole life. I threw cigarette, and sat helplessly. I thought of lighting one more, but was having only Rs. 50 that too borrowed from a friend, as I was going out with a girl. I was sitting by a wall nearby, suddenly phone rang, and it was again unknown number. I thought it belongs to her, so attended it very politely. But it was from my college, asking me to be there immediately, as Director wants to talk to me for my internship. Now I was totally shackled in problems, so I directly called Director, giving excuses for not being with him immediately and anyhow managed till next morning. Basically our Director is very nice and polite; he didn’t raise any questions and simply gave me freedom to enjoy. It charged me after long time, I thought my stars are with me and now I am safe.
In the midst of such huge tension, one girl came with scarf on her face, with open hair. I was not able to see her completely, as she had covered everything except her eyes and hair. I met many girls before, had date with many of them, but never had that feeling which she rose in me. She was different in all aspects. As she came near to me, she said;
“I am sorry for making you wait so long….anyways… how are you?” and started shouting on me for not wearing jacket.
I was puzzled, whether to say truth or just lie, but after all I lied and said “I am fine…thanks”. I had many questions to ask, but was unable to structure them, by the time I would have structured them, she kept the proposal of going to Fathehsagar. I quietly followed her direction, and took her to FS on my friend’s bike. We felt like strangers sharing the bike and we reached F.S. I asked her to remove her scarf from her face. But she didn’t respond positively, I had nothing to express rather than just look at her.
“How are you…? May I know how do you know me?”
She was hesitent, and tried to change the topic, I decided to see her face at any cost, so offered her coffee. Now she was forced to remove her scarf.
I was amazed to see her face. She was the same girl whom I met earlier in one of the conference at international level, which was organized by her college
“Are you okay, I think now you know me”, she asked with smile and said her name, with lots of pride and happiness,
“I am not bothered about your name...” I said.
She looked at me nervously, and tried to keep a fair distance from me. We had coffee silently and I apologized to her making her uncomfortable. Then we had a good talk, had some snacks and then dropped her to her house. We stood outside the house for some time, and then she expressed her wish to go to church nearby. I was overwhelmed, with joy of spending some more time with her. There was nothing too much which is exciting in that meeting.
With passage of time, we started meeting regularly. She always use to call me “Devil”, I don’t know why, I asked her the reason, but she never expressed her thoughts and just said it is her wish.
Suddenly our conversation stopped, I stopped receiving her phone calls. Also she was not replying any of my messages. I was quite anxious to know, what is going on in her mind, but was helpless. Then one fine evening I received a message from her side, I was smoking and thinking about meeting her. It was written “I like you…and need to meet you soon”. I was in seventh heaven and went to meet her, this time she was early than me. I read her face; she was carrying lots of feelings, emotions and fear in her cute, lovely face. I said “Hiii, what’s up”? She was unable to look at my face and suddenly hugged me. Now what should I do, I was not getting anything and also was not prepared for all this. But she always comes with good planning.
Then we went to a coffee shop nearby, we had coffee and sandwich. I was showing as if I was happy with these stuffs, but inside of my heart, I was calculating the bill amount.
She said “You attracted me, I know you like me a lot, but I appreciate you and your skills. I saw you at the conference.” I don’t know the reasons, but her thoughts were clear at least to her. “I found you different. Let me make one thing clear, you love me and I also like you, but it is not possible”
I was about to ask what does “it is not possible” means, but waiter appeared with orders in his hand. I didn’t speak anything, and had my snacks. Also she paid the bill. I was just looking at everything. I asked why did you pay. I could have paid it.
“It’s my duty, as I called you here.” She replied in commanding pitch. We sat near the lake for some time, had good time. But I was redundantly thinking about her all the time. Then we left for home.
After that we had a good relationship. It continued for around 2 months. Then one day, she texted me “Hi…I am getting engaged with a guy, who lives in America. I hope you understand, I am helpless. I am not suitable for you, you have a long term big goals. I don’t know what may happen to me in next second. I don’t have any right on my own life. You just focus on your goal and keep your parents happy. Hope you’ll not smoke too much, pls leave this habit. Thanks”
I read that message for four times, and then tried to understand her condition. Then I tried her mobile number, but she didn’t pick her phone. After 5 days, I went to her college, I didn’t find her, as she refused to meet me but her friend said that she is not engaged, but she didn’t want you to get disturbed, as she had many problems in her own family. She is always pressurized for all things; she is not allowed to do anything of her wish.
I left that place, with tears in my eyes. Since that day, I never got an opportunity to meet her. Also i tried to leave smoking, I always remember her, while smoking. Sorry I never spoke about her in whole story. I feel she is one of the cutest girls I have ever seen in my whole life. She had long hair, fair complexion, with cutest smile, but she always carried doubts and feelings in her face. She looks nice in black jacket. Her voice was very gentle. Simple living is what she always preferred. I still love her a lot. Actually now I miss her more than I used to. She always called me Devil that is the reason I used the word above. There are multiple questions, which remained unanswered.
Lastly I love her a lot, and I hope she will read this one day and will remember me.
I.P Joshi