Yesterday I was doing laundry and having a relaxing day at home. I had dinner plans, therefore I was in a hurry so I ran down to the laundry room to grab my clothes out of the dryer. To my surprise the laundry room was locked. The laundry room door is always open and no one even has keys to that door. Of course I was annoyed, but I figured there is no reason to stress out about it. I called the building manager and asked that they unlock the door and I planned on gathering my things when I got home that night. Of course I forgot about my clothes when I got home and I just went to bed. Still not a big deal right?
I woke up this morning in a chipper mood and was looking forward to helping my friends put together their new office space in Hollywood. Of course I was running late, but right before I hopped in my Jeep to leave, I had a gut feeling I should go check on my clothes.
It was one of those weird moments when normally you would just walk into the laundry room, but I found myself looking in the window before I entered the crime scene. I noticed all my clothes were out of the dryer and laying on the floor to the side. At this point I was pissed off and I walked in to find out what the hell was going on. It was clear to me that a homeless man had made a bed out of my clothes on the floor to sleep. I walked over to pick them up and realized they were soaked with urine. I took a step back and noticed a magazine laying to the side. (see attached photo) The homeless man was clearly a BUTTMAN, so much so that he had shot his LOAD all over my favorite T-SHIRT. At this point, I was in total shock and it takes a hell of a lot to shock me these days. My jaw could not have been more on the floor until I turned around and looked down.
THE M*THER F*CKER TOOK A SH*T IN MY LAUNDRY BASKET!